Post # 1
If you are having a ceremony at the church.. do you have to go for the full mass? Or is there a “shorter” version? While both my fiance and my immediate families are catholic..we have a lot of friends and other family members who are not and I was worried about making them sit through an entire mass ceremony. I know the day is about us in the end but I was just wondering.
Also..about the natural family planning.. I realize it depends on the priest..but what if we want to continue use of birth control instead? I’ve been on it for years now (at first for a medical reason, now I keep it because I am not ready yet for children).. Has anyone been told that their priest will NOT marry them? My fiance and I definitely want kids in the future..just not right away
Post # 3
There should be a shorter version! I did a Catholic Ceremony last time and we didn’t do the full hour, it was more like 30-40 minutes (still long BUT not quite as long)
Post # 4
There is definitely a Catholic wedding rite outside of Mass. http://catholicweddinghelp.com/ has lots of helpful information about wedding rites both with and without a full Mass.
Post # 5
We are having a Catholic wedding and are just doing the ceremony (not a full mass). It will be about 35 minutes long as opposed to an hour.
In regards to NFP and BC, most priests won’t ask you what you’re going to do with your sexual health. It’s one of those things that’s a very personal choice. The Catholic Church won’t recognize hormonal birth control any time soon, so if that’s what you choose to do (it’s what I’m choosing to do), it’s one of those things that’s better left unsaid.
Post # 6
1. Yes, you can forgo the communion if you wish and have a shorter ceremony.
2. Your priest will only know if you tell them. I’d leave your family planning plans out of the conversation.
Post # 7
1. There is a shortened version of a Catholic marriage. It basically just omits communion. My best friend had this type of ceremony last month and hers only lasted about 25 minutes.
2. Our church is very conservative and requires a full natural family planning class to be married. If you’re definitely not planning on doing this, you may want to leave that out of conversation with the priest. I was planning on doing the same thing, but the more Fi and I talk about marriage and learn about NFP, we’ve decided that it’s really a great route to take. So if you do have to take those classes, try to go into it with an open mind.
Post # 8
Nope, we’re not doing a full mass, just the ceremony.
Don’t bring up your birth control choices to the priest, especially since I doubt he’ll ask. Ours didn’t.
Post # 9
We’re doing the full mass.. and honestly I’ve only had one groan about it.. I straight up told them that that was the most important part of the day for me so they’re going to have to suck it up I mean I did it nicely and it shut them up pretty quickly. As for the BC/NFP we are required to take the NFP class and even if you’re staying on BC it is a great class to take (from what I hear) becuase it really shows you how to make sure your body is working correctly. and it’s the same methods mentioned in the TCOYF book. Honestly our priest didn’t ask about that OR if we were having sex. He just said he stays out of it becuase he said we know what is right and wrong within the catholic church. IDK if your priest will be more snoopy though. Just don’t bring it up 😀
Post # 10
Our church actually recommended a shorter ceremony with no mass, but that’s because I’m not Catholic (FI is). They generally only do the shorter version for couples where one is non-Catholic, because if both are Catholic the church’s position is that marriage is a sacrament that should be celebrated with communion. At least that’s what the priest explained to us. Like most things in the church, I’m sure this is parish-specific.
As for birth control, our priest never touched on it one way or the other. The topic never came up outside of pre-cana, and even then it was just a really uncomfortable hour where a woman old enough to be my grandmother talked about cervical mucous. I doubt it will come up with your priest unless you’re in a really conservative parish.
Post # 11
You do not have to have a full mass. My DH and I did vows only. We were in and out in 15 mins. Fastest Catholic wedding EVER!
Post # 12
Thank you guys! I really appreciate all of the advice and knowledge! You are great! 🙂