Post # 1
I work in a small office, but it’s a branch off of 3 larger offices. I am really close to only 1-2 of my co-workers. Meaning I see or talk to them outside of the office. And not to sound nasty, but I don’t have a “personal” relationship with the majority enough that I want them at my wedding. But how do I invite some and not the others. Also, the people that I do know and have known for a long time in the other offices are asking for invites. They are EXPECTING an invite. We have a really tight budget and it’s hard enough trying to fit our families and close friends to fit that budget. How do I handle this, especially for the co-workers I work closely with. These are people who have been listening to me rant about my upcoming nuptials, bought engagement gifts, gave advice, etc. for the last 12 months. How could I not invite them??
Post # 3
No. No one should ever expect an invite as that is bad manners. You are the hosts and you decide whom you want in attendance. No one has the right to dictate whom you invite or don’t, nor the right to make you feel guilty. Only invite those whom you want in attendance that you cannot imagine the day without.
Post # 4
i didn’t invite mine. our guest list was already larger than i would have preferred so i left them off since i don’t hang out with them outside of work. i did keep the wedding talk to a minimum however only talking about it when directly asked and so forth. it’s not that i didn’t want to talk about the wedding, but i felt it rude to include them in all the extra details when they were not coming.
Post # 5
I might handle it this way: I am going to email all of my coworkers who I want to come and let them know that they are getting an invite. I can’t really verbally tell them given my situation. Then let them know that they are the “select few” and have them not to say anything. FI’s coworker did this to us when he got married. I think that is your best bet. It’s a tough situation though!
Post # 6
i had this issue too–there was a big group of my coworkers who i am really friendly with and saw outside of work on a monthly-ish basis, and did weekly coffee outings with during office hours. like, if i invited ALL of them, including their serious so’s, it would have been over 15 people! (i wanted to invite them all, but couldn’t since i was worried about venue capacity!) i ended up only inviting 7 (including my moh and her bf, and one of my other best friends and his wife; i was always going to invite those 4). the 3 that i decided to invite on top of the definites were people i talked about the wedding to a LOT, including one who i travelled with a lot for work, and 2 had looked at photographers’ and florists’ blogs with me and stuff. when i decided to invite the 3 of them, i took them aside one night (during a happy hour, i admit i was a little drunk and prob didn’t do this so eloquently but none of the other coworkers were nearby at the time or heard…) and told them that we really wanted them at the wedding but to keep their invites on the down low since it was impossible to invite everyone in the group. they were thrilled and were good about keeping it quiet, and all the other coworkers seemed to be fine with the fact that i didn’t invite them, they all were still friendly and everything
so, i’d invite the ones you’re close to if you want to, and just keep quiet about plans with the rest of them
Post # 7
looking back, i probably will invite less coworkers.
i even invited 2 secretaries b/c they are the type who “bitch” about people not respecting them so as a manager who chats with them daily, i thought it’s a nice gesture to give them “respect” and invite them. one person told me they were bring a guest but ended up only show up herself, the other secretary said she’s coming but didn’t show up.
i am pissed – i tried to give them “respect” and they just wasted $300 of my money (it was $150/guest), i could’ve used that money to buy myself other stuff. i think people have no consideration of other people’s money.
Post # 8
I work in a large dept and I am capacity. I do not socialize with my co-workers. My MOH is one of my coworkers but I knew her before I started working there. I am inviting only one other co-worker and that is because I like her. I don’t talk much about the wedding, although many ask me about details. It is hard not to answer their questions. I would never expect to be invited to a wedding. I’m not even inviting all of my family (cousins, etc). This is your wedding and do what is best for you.
Post # 9
I work with 6 people directly including my direct supervisor and decided that to avoid drama the best thing to do is to invite all of them. I am not inviting my big boss or boss…thats just pushing it! I was planning on inviting three of them anyways and I think in my situation it would have been a little rude not to invite all of them.
Post # 10
@datialjohnson: You should ask yourself if you would be friends outside of work. If not, then don’t invite them. Just don’t talk about your wedding 24/7 with them.
Post # 11
I will be inviting the team that I work with: my boss & three colleagues. There is also a person I am friends with outside of work. There are just so many people in my office, but honestly, I’m not really close with them, so I can’t justify inviting them to the wedding.
Post # 12
You aren’t obliged to invite work colleagues unless you want to. I’d mention to the ones you wish to invite to keep it quiet as to not offend the others.
For the ones who keep hinting about an invite – use some of the ideas posted on this website a couple days ago about how to say no politely. They should be helpful.
Post # 13
invite the ones you’re close to, and then don’t talk about your wedding at work.
Post # 14
You dont HAVE to invite anyone you don’t want to.
We are inviting our co-workers but only because we work for the same company. Both of our departments are small. I only have 2 co-workers and my boss and FI has 1 co-worker and 2 bosses. They will all be invited with their spouses (one of my co-workers is single and not in a relationship so she won’t get a +1). We’re having a small wedding to begin with so adding 11 people to our guest list really isn’t much. However, we’re getting married on a Friday so I don’t even know that all of them will be able to make it.
Post # 15
Thank all of you so much, the advice is so helpful. I have a friend that works in the co., but in another office and she felt I was being rude when I stated I was not inviting anyone from work. It’s my first AND ONLY wedding so I was not sure what the protocol was. But I felt like it’s my wedding, my money, my choice!
Again thanks a bunch for helping me get prospective on the matter.