Do you have to let military groomsmen wear their dress uniforms?

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Can we ask them to just wear a tux?
    Yes : (82 votes)
    59 %
    No, absolutely not. : (26 votes)
    19 %
    You can suggest it, but let them wear their uniform if they still want to. : (30 votes)
    22 %
    Other? : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    14503 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    There is nothing that requires them to wear their dress uniforms, I would have no problem asking them wear tuxes.  I don’t think there is anything rude about it at all, no different than picking our BM dresses.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask them to wear a tux.  You’re the bride/groom, and you call the shots.  You’re not an awful person for wanting your guys to all look the same.  Plus, you don’t want your hubby to be looking overshadowed by two guys in military uniforms, cause, let’s face it, they’re pretty distinct.

    I understand why they want to wear them, though.  They’re rightfully proud of their service, and that’s good.  FI’s joining the Navy, and is so excited to wear his for the first time in public!  But, your wedding’s not about them, nor should they expect it to be.  It would be the same if they wanted to wear jeans and a cowboy hat cause they’re cowboys.  Well… that’s fabulous, but that’s not what is expected.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee

    If it was your groom and he wanted to wear his uniform I would say let him. I love a man in uniform. BUT–it’s not their wedding. They’re there for him, and they should show their support by all looking nice together. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think it’s fair to ask them to wear something else.  We had a semi-similar situation where it’s very common for our federal police officers to wear their uniforms to weddings.  My husband, six honour guard and two groomsmen are members and one groomsman is not.  I thought it would be odd to have nine guys in bright red uniforms, and one guy in a tux (like, who’s the random?), so we asked the two groomsmen to wear tuxes as well.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    284 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Someone may call me out on this–but my best friend is a Naval Officer and I’m honored to have him wear a different color than the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen! And I can’t wait to see it in the pictures. Being in the military is not just a job, it is their life, and while we did give the option to choose between renting a tux or wearing his dress uniform…I am truly honored that he’s choosing to wear his uniform. These men and women do after all put their lives on the line for us every moment of everyday so that we can live in the glorious country that we do…so perhaps if it’s more important to have uniformity in your bridal party than to satisfy a friends passion for their service to our country you should reconsider your bridal party. If it were your father, or a seasoned, decorated soldier wanting to wear his uniform, would you approach the subject any differently?

    Post # 9
    Member
    14503 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Yeah, I had the opposite problem.  I really wanted my brother and uncles to wear their dress blues and my brother really just wants to rock a tux, which is ok with me.  I don’t really care what he wears as long as he thinks he is rocking it at least he will be there and with the Army that is a feet), but I really wanted to him to wear the dress blues.

    Post # 10
    Member
    832 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    We had a civil ceremony and have postponed our wedding ceremony. My husband and his best man are both in the army. When we were planning, we decided to have them wear tuxedos. His best man did tell me a couple of times that they should wear the uniforms, but you just have to be firm and tell them that it’s yalls day and the tux is what you want.

    Post # 11
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My Dad’s whole side of the family is military and my father is a decorated officer, has been overseas many many times but on my wedding day he will not be wearing his dress blues. This has nothing to do with being unpatriotic it has to do with the fact that we will be getting married on a beach and I don’t want my dad in dress blues, I don’t think of him as the military I think of him as my father. This is your day and they are representing themselves as your support, not the military. If you want them to wear a tux then just tell them you want them to wear a tux, they will have ample opportunities throughout their career to wear dress blues!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    @jo.lee: Exactly!  And if that’s what you want, then tell them that it has nothing to do with them being in the military, it’s just that you want them to wear a tux! 

    You could compromise and let them wear their uniforms at the reception… I don’t know if that’s weird, but if you’re really only concerned about pictures, and they REALLY want to wear them, then maybe that might be a good alternative?

    Personally, I think that if you agree to be in the bridal party, then you agree to wear whatever the bride/groom chooses, end of discussion… but that’s just me. 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    2462 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    this might be a different way of thinking about it…if you had a bridesmaid who was in the military, wouldn’t you expect her to wear a bridesmaid’s dress instead of her uniform? is that any different?

    i’m not familiar at all with military protocol or anything, but it seems to me like asking them to wear a tux is fine 

    Post # 15
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My husband was in the military, and was never required to wear his Class A’s unless it was to military functions and inspections.  They are specific events that you are allowed to wear them, but not required to.  Weddings are one of those events.  This is coming straight from the hubs!

    I see no harm in asking them to rent a tux for the event.

    Hope that helps!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I think the only guy that gets a say on what he gets to wear is the groom…not the groomsmen.  They should wear what they are asked to wear. 

    I’m just about as patriotic as they come, being an Army wife and all, but I still say, your wedding shouldn’t be a cause for free reign on the groomsmen choice of clothing…unless you say they can wear the uniforms.

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