(Closed) Do You Have to Send an Invitation to the People You Send Save-the-Dates to?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

You already sent her a STD so I feel like you are obligated to invite them. It doesn’t matter if they didn’t invite you to their event, that has no bearing on them coming to yours. Maybe they’re doing a small affair with just immediate family. Or maybe she’s a slacker and hasn’t sent invites yet and isn’t doing STDs.

Post # 4
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

If you sent them a STD your suppose to send them a wedding invitation, the only purpose of a STD is to give the people you are inviting to the wedding a heads up about the upcoming event in the next year.

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, you do, without question. But I understand why you might not want to. 

Post # 8
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am also from the school of thinking that if you sent someone a save the date… well… you told them to save the date right?  So they are to assume that they are saving it to get a wedding invitation?  From everything I’ve read if you didnt want to invite that person originally, you should not send a save the date to them.  I was really cautious with FI with his people to make sure 100% that he wanted those people and wouldnt change his mind in a few months time!  As you say, I also think its better to be the bigger person and do the right thing, but I get why you wouldnt send one too.

Post # 9
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I sent StDs but not to everyone – only to people who need to travel or who have kids to make arrangements for. So maybe that’s why you didn’t get one? Just one possibility.

Post # 10
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I have a cousin who is getting married the last weekend in May (so the weekend before your FI’s cousin) and I still haven’t received an invitation, even though I know I am invited. She will likely be sending them out in a week or so, so don’t worry about not being invited yet.

Like other PP, I did not send an STD to my entire guest list, only people who need to make arrangements for travel, family that would like our picture on their fridge, or people that might not hear about my wedding date via word of mouth. My guest list is about 350 people (roughly 190 invites), but we only sent out 130 STDs. So, you can ssend an invite to someone who didn’t get an STD, but you do not send and STD and not follow with an invitation (most STDs say “Formal Invitation to Follow”).

Post # 11
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@geekspice:  Same here. I only sent out StDs to people out of town, those who travel a lot during summer, or those who I really wanted to be there. I sent out about 40 StDs, but sending out 80 invitations.

In my mind, not everyone getting an invitation gets an StD, but everyone getting an StD gets an invitation.

Post # 12
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@lovelylight99:  You have to send an invite.  You don’t have to invite people who invite you to their weddings.  You should be inviting the people you want there.  If you didn’t want him when you sent the STD, you shouldn’t have sent an STD. 

As a side note – not everyone sends STDs and it’s a bit early to get an invite for a June wedding.  I think the rule is 6-8 weeks in advance of the date is when they’re supposed to get sent!

Post # 13
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@futuremrsk18:  +1

We’re getting married in June and our invites aren’t going out for almost a month.

Post # 14
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@lovelylight99:  Yeah, especially if its one person. I kinda majorly broke the rules though….100 STDs were sent out because I didnt put my foot down with family members and people just started inviting random people. We ended calling the whole traditional wedding off (we didnt want it anyways) and just having 22 family members present. People were upset (thats a given) but there was no way we could have paid for (or had time to plan) the massive wedding that it became. But with one person, just invite her and be done.

Post # 15
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

STD = Invitation. Sorry you didn’t get invited to your cousin’s wedding, but you have to invite her to yours.

Post # 16
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

absolutely. std=invitation. invitation =/= invitation.

The topic ‘Do You Have to Send an Invitation to the People You Send Save-the-Dates to?’ is closed to new replies.

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