Post # 1
I’m a little annoyed right now. I had been talking to the photographers receptionist and she had told me about our package and how the day would go with the photographer. She told me that the photographer takes wedding party pictures BEFORE the ceremony. I’m absolutely not ok with this. I want my groom to wait until I come down the aisle to see me. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I’ve dreamed of that moment for a long time and him seeing me for photos beforehand seems like it completely defeats the purpose. The receptionist told me this is so there is less of a time gap between the ceremony and reception.
First off, my ceremony will be literally right next to the reception site (like 30 feet away). Second, I’m planning to have a cocktail hour with hors d’oeuvres. It’s not like our guests have to wander around aimlessly for an hour or two with no where to go. Third, if I’m paying someon 3k for pictures, shouldn’t I get a say in when the photos are taken without being charged an extra $300? Either way the photographer is going to be there, if I want her to wait to take my group pictures I don’t think that I’m asking for the moon.
I’m sort of venting right now. I’m annoyed. Is this whole taking pictures beforehand the norm now or does anyone else prefer waiting until the ceremony to see the groom?
I can see taking photos with the bridesmaids and me, or just the groom and the guys. But I don’t want any photos with me and the groom until the ceremony. Am I being unreasonable by wanting that?
Post # 2
crisy003: You should be able to say whether or not you want a “first look.” We did one so we could enjoy part of our cocktail hour, but if it’s not what you want you don’t have to do it. Your photographer is there for a set number of hours anyway, it shouldn’t matter what order things go in. Have you actually talked to the photographer or just the receptionist?
Post # 3
No, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.
Is what this receptionist said actually in the contract, any of the correspondence, or mentioned in talks you’ve had with them, or is this information completely new?
I would speak directly to the photographer about this, ASAP. The receptionist could be giving you the wrong information; I really think she’s mistaken.
Post # 4
Our wedding is not until October 2015, but FI and I have discussed this very subject at length and we both agree that we really want that “moment” of me walking down the aisle to be the first time he sees me on our wedding day. I plan on doing Brides side & Grooms side pics before the ceremony and that includes pics with me and my bridesmaids and pics of him and his groomsmen. We’ll take the “bridal portriats” after the wedding as well as pics with his family & my family.
Since you are hiring them, you ABSOLUTELY can say when you want the wedding party pics.
Post # 5
Rhopalocera: They have it in their pamplet and they say if you want bridal party pics after the ceremony, its an extra $300 charge. I think considering that I’m having a cocktail hour literally just steps away and theres no extra driving, taking the photos after shouldn’t be an issue. My guests will not have that long of a wait and they will have a place to go so I just don’t see it as a reason to charge me extra. Especially if the photographer stays for the reception anyway. I think I will be calling the photographer directly and talking with her and explaining the situation. I’m just amazed that they made it sound like it’s completely normal to take the photos before the wedding.
Post # 6
Did you see this pamphlet before you signed a contract with them?
If you did, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t call, but if you saw this information before you retained their services, why is what the receptionist said a problem? You may still be able to work this out with them, but this detail might come up. They did what they were supposed to do by putting that information in the pamphlets, if you got the pamphlet before you hired them.
Did they specify what they mean by “bridal party”? Did they say specifically that pictures of the bride and groom together would be taken before the ceremony?
Post # 7
crisy003: Can you ask if you can do family and bridal party seperates prior to the ceremony? There are tons of pictures that you will want that do not involve you and your FI together, like ones with you and your BMs, him and the groomsmen, him and his family, you and your family, ect. You can still get a ton done without seeing your FI.
That said, you can see tons of people on here, myself included, who will tell you first looks don’t spoil that moment walking down the asile, but enhances it. For me, it was nice to get the moment of crying and smiling out of the way when we could say sweet things to eachother, and did prevent me from just running down the asile to meet him. We were both trying so hard not to cry as I walked down the aisle, instead of letting all that emotion show. His face in perticular had the “I just ate something sour” look on it. Also, I totally look like Rudolph in my post cremony pics at the reception because I cried so much during the ceremony. Just some thoughts.
Post # 8
Rhopalocera: this is what I’m confused about. Did you read through everything before you booked with this photographer? I wouldn’t have booked with them.
Post # 9
You are paying her so you should be the one that determines what pictures are taken at what time. You should call her her.
Post # 10
When you know ahead of time that a vendor will do things in a way you don’t want them to be done, don’t hire them. You’ll have no leg to stand if you try to complain, most likely — they already told you what they were going to do.
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Maybe you misunderstood the receptionist or she’s not quoting the photographer correctly. If you don’t want to do a first-look (where the groom sees you before the ceremony) then you definitely don’t have to. She may have meant that the groom will get pictures taken with his guys while they get ready, open gifts, etc. and a second photographer will be with you pre-ceremony capturing you get ready, open gifts, etc.
My DH took photos with his groomsmen before the ceremony while I was still getting ready. I took so long we didn’t have time to grab photos of me with my girls before the ceremony. We almost missed them entirely but the photographer remembered I wanted them and grabbed us at the reception and took some quick shots. Directly after the ceremony, we had family portraits taken in the church and then used the rest of cocktail hour to get photos of just me and groom at the reception venue. I definitely played a key role in figuring out when certain shots would be taken and providing a shot list of everything I wanted in advance.
I suggest calling back and asking to make an appointment to speak to your photographer. You should get to know him/her before the big day so that you know you’ll be comfortable in front of them. If you can’t be relaxed around them, it will show in your photos. We did an engagement photo shoot with our wedding photographer so we could try her out and make sure we got along and liked what she produced. I highly recommend this!
Post # 12
crisy003: we didn’t do it. I refused. We had about 90 minutes from the end of the ceremony to our ‘grand entrace’ our guests had drinks and hors d’ouvres (like you we had everything at one spot). The bridal party and parents went for pictures and it was all super easy peasy.
Post # 13
The information was in small print in the pamplet and it had also said that the $300 charge is only for the “traditional package.” I’m planning to call the photographer and ask her to clarify that since I’m not going with the traditional package, but instead going with the more expensive Premire package. With the Premire package the photographer stays longer in the day anyway so I want to make sure that they will be willing to work with me based on my preferences. I’m not having a big gap between the ceremony and reception since they are only steps from each other and the guests will be at a cocktail hour anyway. I know most people around here have weddings somewhere and a reception 30 minutes away but there is no extra drive with my day so I’m hoping she will be more accomodating.
Misswhowedding: I’m planning on asking her about doing the other group photos at least before the wedding (family, bridesmaids, groomsmen) without having me and my FI together. Hopefully she will be understanding, I doubt I’m the first bride she’s come across wanting to wait. She’s probably the best photographer I’ve seen and I’m excited to have her take our pictures but I really don’t want any taken with the groom until I walk down the aisle.. That’s my own preference I suppose.
Post # 14
crisy003: I think pictures before the ceremony is normal for about 50% of the population. If you don’t want them, don’t do it. Granted, you need to speak with the photog on this and if they really charge an extra $300 to NOT do pre-ceremony pics, decide if they are the right photog for you or not.
No one should be forced into pre-ceremony pictures, no way. THAT is not normal.
Post # 15
crisy003: Ah, I see.
Based on their own pamphlet, the wedding photos should be taken at the times you want them to be taken. Yes, it definitely seems that, at the very least, the receptionist is mistaken.
I hope things go the right way when you call.