Do you horseplay with your SO?

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7137 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, we are not at all like you describe. But I also would not surmise you are being abused at all. I think you’re fine.

Post # 3
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

We’re probably similar verbally, but not physically or prank-wise. I think it all depends on what your two personalities are like. It seems like you both thoroughly enjoy that dynamic in the relationship, which is fine. It would be abusive if one person was not into it, yet the behaviour continued – so not this!

Post # 4
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We mock punch each other all the time (in the thigh, butt, arm, stomach), and make funny noises while doing it. Sometimes I like to just roll over him in bed, or we pillow fight. We do all sorts of horseplay. For Christmas I got us nerf guns(We are 33 & 34, but who cares!). Its not a constant, everyday type of thing for us, but we are definitely goofy. I think it can be an incredibly healthy aspect to a relationship. Not all relationships need this playfulness, but it’s kind of surprising that your friend totally misread the situation. 

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

My husband and I can be silly but we are not at all how you’ve described. An ex of mine would pull pranks similar to that on me, though, and it was awful. However, as long as both partners are enjoying itand without crossing boundaries or validating trust, it is fine.

I think it’s good of your friend to voice their concern, though. It means they care, though they do not understand. I’d educate them on it.

Post # 6
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

I’ll admit that our relationship is similar to yours. We are best friends so of course we’re going to get silly. My boyfriend has more of that personality than Ido though, so sometimes it does actually get annoying but he can snap out of it too. We call it being in a “buggy” mood when one of us is tickling the other one, or playing pranks. We do t so it in front of other people though so no one has ever made comments but I imagine that would feel awkward.

i really don’t think it’s abusive if both partners fully consent to that type of behaviour and know that it’s just being done to be playful. I get that many people aren’t like that though which is why I’m glad I found someone that does like to play wrestle and chase each other Around the house for tickle fights. 😊

Post # 7
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Not to this level….sometimes I tickle him and he is veeeery ticklish so he’ll pin me down and hold my hands while laughing. Also for pranks..I like to scare him sometimes if I’m in a room I know he’s about to walk in. I think he’s used to it now. Instead of jumping, he now says “Oh..hi sweetheart”. It has lost its surprise component 🙂

as for you op…I don’t see abuse at all. As pp said that can be a healthy part of the relationship and it shows you are very comfortable around one another. As long as it works for you guys, have at her. 

Post # 8
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

Sounds like you guys are having fun! I would have laughed if I were the friend out for dinner with the two of you. 

Me and my partner like to horseplay, but usually I am the person to start something. It usually happens in bed when I can’t fall asleep right away- which is most nights. I like to tickle him, and usually this ends up in play fighting which is always really funny. I like to play small pranks also but they’re always really harmless and he always laughs. 

Post # 10
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Last year SO and I were play fighting like we always do, and I was laughing so hard my neighbor called the cops because she thought I was getting murdered 😅

We horseplay like you do all the time, and it makes me laugh my ass off on a daily basis. 

Tell your friend to mind her business and lighten up.

Post # 11
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

What you described would be extremely uncomfortable for me, so I can see why your friend might feel concerned. DH and I can be super strange and goofy, but not in public and not to the point of making each other uncomfortable in any way. Obviously it’s your relationship and you get to decide where your boundaries are.

Post # 12
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

FI and I don’t play pranks on each other. He’s the type that I think would, but I take everything literally and am generally pretty serious, so I don’t like that kind of stuff, and he respects that. He does tease me sometimes in a playful way, and sometimes we pretend to fight each other physically by throwing very light punches at each other. I honestly would get extremely annoyed if someone was stealing towels and putting ice cubes in my shirt. I get enough teasing from my older brother, being the youngest! Ugh!

Post # 13
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - Emerald at Queensridge

I’m not one for pranks at all. FI and I do say silly things to each other like “oh I was just talking to my other fiance, no big deal” but I’ve never liked pranks. I’ve been that way since as long as I can remember. FI doesn’t care for them either. Having said that, from the sounds of your post, I don’t think you have an abusive relationship at all. If you guys are both having a good time and you’re not upset about it then it’s just all in good fun. Your definition of fun anyways. Hehe.

Post # 14
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Me and my FI muck about (mostly me, I’m a giant pain) if my not curling his hair, prodding him, generally being a pest – he worries.

i also sing to him, making up my own excellent lyrics (cough) “jingle bells, Ali smells” we randomly bug each other.

he steals my phone and hides it (on himself) and I do the same.

 

i tell him he’s my favourite fiancé – the other guys not that good. 

 

Post # 15
Member
6628 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

A friend of my husband’s always dates guys that sound like your SO. Her current BF sounds like your SO. Personally, I’ve always thought they seemed really obnoxious and immature and it can be annoying to hang out with them sometimes. We’ve left get togethers early because thier behavior just isn’t fun to be around. I’ve never thought he was abusive but it’s certainly not how I would want to be treated.

If you don’t have a problem with it though and think it’s fun then it’s fine. Your friend probably just doesn’t see the appeal.

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