Post # 1
I was just curious if anyone else has a very playful type of relationship with their SO?
Mine enjoys tickling, pinching, poking, and generally annoying me throughout the day. We play pranks on eachother pretty much daily, stupid things like taking the last towel from the bathroom when one of us is in the shower; hiding car keys on each other, we’ll take ice cubes and stick them down each other’s shirts, silly things like that. There are times we are pretty verbally silly as well. For instance I’ll ask what he had been up to that day and he’ll say “Just talking to hott girls online, you know, lining one up.” It really is ALL in jest and we both know that 100%, we both do it to eachother, and while this is more of his personality than mine, I’ve gotten quite used to it and tend to enjoy it, it keeps things fun and interesting. We of course can be serious and heartfelt too when it matters, but I don’t think there’s ever a day that goes by without some sort of prankish behavior towards one another. I think the worst thing he ever did was when he asked me to give him a soda, as I was right by the fridge. I was feeling a bit devilish so I decided to shake it for about a minute before handing it to him. He then proceeded to chase me through the house and corner me, dumping it all on my hair. I was somewhat upset as I was fully clothed and now covered in sticky liquid, but so think he realized he had crossed a line- and it turned into a nice shower where he helped me clean up- among other things 😀
i ask this, because a friend of mine witnessed our behavior, we were out to dinner, I forget all that happened, I think it was something silly like he held ice cubes above my head and let the water drip on me, and when I wasn’t looking he’d eat off my plate (he allowed me to have some of his food afterwords), just silly things like that. There were probably some verbal things as well but I don’t remember specifics- as its so very normal to me. But my friend spoke to me afterwords with grave concern that maybe he was abusive? I was completely in shock, as I had had a great time and was pretty much giggling all night, but she goes on to tell me how his behavior isn’t okay and we are so aggressive towards one another and it’s not healthy etc etc. I tried to explain to her that it’s just the nature of our relationship and it’s all in jest, but she made me feel super weird about it. We can’t be the only couple that has this kind of fun with eachother, can we? I realize some of it may seem a bit immature but hey, we aren’t hurting anybody.
What are your thoughts? Do you like to horseplay with your SO?
Post # 2
No, we are not at all like you describe. But I also would not surmise you are being abused at all. I think you’re fine.
Post # 3
We’re probably similar verbally, but not physically or prank-wise. I think it all depends on what your two personalities are like. It seems like you both thoroughly enjoy that dynamic in the relationship, which is fine. It would be abusive if one person was not into it, yet the behaviour continued – so not this!
Post # 4
We mock punch each other all the time (in the thigh, butt, arm, stomach), and make funny noises while doing it. Sometimes I like to just roll over him in bed, or we pillow fight. We do all sorts of horseplay. For Christmas I got us nerf guns(We are 33 & 34, but who cares!). Its not a constant, everyday type of thing for us, but we are definitely goofy. I think it can be an incredibly healthy aspect to a relationship. Not all relationships need this playfulness, but it’s kind of surprising that your friend totally misread the situation.
Post # 5
My husband and I can be silly but we are not at all how you’ve described. An ex of mine would pull pranks similar to that on me, though, and it was awful. However, as long as both partners are enjoying itand without crossing boundaries or validating trust, it is fine.
I think it’s good of your friend to voice their concern, though. It means they care, though they do not understand. I’d educate them on it.
Post # 6
I’ll admit that our relationship is similar to yours. We are best friends so of course we’re going to get silly. My boyfriend has more of that personality than Ido though, so sometimes it does actually get annoying but he can snap out of it too. We call it being in a “buggy” mood when one of us is tickling the other one, or playing pranks. We do t so it in front of other people though so no one has ever made comments but I imagine that would feel awkward.
i really don’t think it’s abusive if both partners fully consent to that type of behaviour and know that it’s just being done to be playful. I get that many people aren’t like that though which is why I’m glad I found someone that does like to play wrestle and chase each other Around the house for tickle fights. 😊
Post # 7
Not to this level….sometimes I tickle him and he is veeeery ticklish so he’ll pin me down and hold my hands while laughing. Also for pranks..I like to scare him sometimes if I’m in a room I know he’s about to walk in. I think he’s used to it now. Instead of jumping, he now says “Oh..hi sweetheart”. It has lost its surprise component 🙂
as for you op…I don’t see abuse at all. As pp said that can be a healthy part of the relationship and it shows you are very comfortable around one another. As long as it works for you guys, have at her.
Post # 8
Sounds like you guys are having fun! I would have laughed if I were the friend out for dinner with the two of you.
Me and my partner like to horseplay, but usually I am the person to start something. It usually happens in bed when I can’t fall asleep right away- which is most nights. I like to tickle him, and usually this ends up in play fighting which is always really funny. I like to play small pranks also but they’re always really harmless and he always laughs.
Post # 9
pinklemonade12 : I just wanted to comment on the “buggy” mood thing! My FH and I have a name for it too- well tell each other “You’re being a rascal!” I too get annoyed more easily than him, however it’s hard to stay annoyed when he gets that devilish grin. He is also much stronger than me, so I’m less likely to initiate a wrestling match, as he will literally just pick me up or hold me down until I concede, hah. He tends to retaliate against pranks quite intensely (see the soda story) so I am cautious and choose mine carefully, hah. But honestly it’s all in good fun and I know that he would never hurt me and would absolutely stop if I gave him the serious voice.
My SO also LOVES doing it in public or in front of others. We’ll get into fake bickering matches and things like that all the time, teasing each other. I don’t mind so much, and I usually dish it right back. There’s very little I could say to him that would offend him, his sense of humor is miles more open than mine. So I suppose sometimes the things we say can SOUND mean, but we do have a fairly large threshold for teasing. I just never though about how it came across to others until my friend said something about it though.
Post # 10
Last year SO and I were play fighting like we always do, and I was laughing so hard my neighbor called the cops because she thought I was getting murdered 😅
We horseplay like you do all the time, and it makes me laugh my ass off on a daily basis.
Tell your friend to mind her business and lighten up.
Post # 11
What you described would be extremely uncomfortable for me, so I can see why your friend might feel concerned. DH and I can be super strange and goofy, but not in public and not to the point of making each other uncomfortable in any way. Obviously it’s your relationship and you get to decide where your boundaries are.
Post # 12
FI and I don’t play pranks on each other. He’s the type that I think would, but I take everything literally and am generally pretty serious, so I don’t like that kind of stuff, and he respects that. He does tease me sometimes in a playful way, and sometimes we pretend to fight each other physically by throwing very light punches at each other. I honestly would get extremely annoyed if someone was stealing towels and putting ice cubes in my shirt. I get enough teasing from my older brother, being the youngest! Ugh!
Post # 13
- Wedding: February 2018 - Emerald at Queensridge
I’m not one for pranks at all. FI and I do say silly things to each other like “oh I was just talking to my other fiance, no big deal” but I’ve never liked pranks. I’ve been that way since as long as I can remember. FI doesn’t care for them either. Having said that, from the sounds of your post, I don’t think you have an abusive relationship at all. If you guys are both having a good time and you’re not upset about it then it’s just all in good fun. Your definition of fun anyways. Hehe.
Post # 14
Me and my FI muck about (mostly me, I’m a giant pain) if my not curling his hair, prodding him, generally being a pest – he worries.
i also sing to him, making up my own excellent lyrics (cough) “jingle bells, Ali smells” we randomly bug each other.
he steals my phone and hides it (on himself) and I do the same.
i tell him he’s my favourite fiancé – the other guys not that good.
Post # 15
A friend of my husband’s always dates guys that sound like your SO. Her current BF sounds like your SO. Personally, I’ve always thought they seemed really obnoxious and immature and it can be annoying to hang out with them sometimes. We’ve left get togethers early because thier behavior just isn’t fun to be around. I’ve never thought he was abusive but it’s certainly not how I would want to be treated.
If you don’t have a problem with it though and think it’s fun then it’s fine. Your friend probably just doesn’t see the appeal.