Do you judge couples who get married quickly?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you judge couples who marry quickly?
    Yes : (370 votes)
    70 %
    No : (160 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    8677 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Nope. My husband and I moved in within three months of dating and were married within eight months.

    Every relationship moves to the beat of a different drum.

    Post # 4
    5160 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Yes.  It’s so different than my experience that it’s difficult for me to understand.  I think that if you marry while you’re still in the infatuation stage you are basically rolling the dice.  

    Post # 5
    1690 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yes, unfortunately I do.. Because I just don’t understand it. 

    My BIL and his wife met (online) and were married within 6 months. Thy married so fast for immigration reasons, and we thought it wouldn’t last a year. It’s been 6 years and 2 kids now for them. 

    Post # 6
    8847 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    @cbgg:  I think that if you marry while you’re still in the infatuation stage you are basically rolling the dice.  

    Yup, exactly.  I think it takes a solid couple years to know if you’re compatible when you’re not trying as hard and as infatuated with the other person as you are in the first 1-2 years.

    Post # 7
    6948 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @linnylou_88:  I think it really depends on the couple. If they are 19 and are getting married 18 months after meeting each other, yeah– I don’t think that’s gonna last. But if they are in their late 30s or 40s and getting married after 18 months I probably wouldn’t bat an eye. 

    My SO is in his 40s and I’m in my 30s. We moved in together maybe 4 months after we met. We’ll know each other over 2 years by the time we get married, but I could have totally seen us getting married within 18 months of meeting. We just knew and so did everyone else. We were getting harrassed about getting engaged by all our friends and family by the 6 month mark. 

    Post # 8
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It depends. Every couple that I know that got married quickly had huge issues down the line or aren’t together anymore, so I am skeptical based on past experiences. I know this isn’t the case for everyone though, but I’ve always thought, “if you think you’ll be together forever anyway, what’s the rush?” Unless of course you’re waiting to move in, have sex, one of you needs health insurance lol etc.

    It doesn’t really affect me though so usually I’m just happy for people.

    ETA: I don’t think 18 months is ridiculously quick. I was thinking more of the people that get engaged in under a year, or under 6 months.

    Post # 9
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @linnylou_88:  I used to. That was however, before I met FI. We had a bit of an unconventional relationship since the start. We were practically inseperable since day 1. Moved in together within 3 months of meeting, got a dog at about 6 months together, bought a house shortly therafter and were engaged before 2 years was up. I’ve known since day one he was teh one for me so no more judgements here!

    Post # 10
    737 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @linnylou_88:  I used to get kind of jealous but now I’m pretty indifferent about it.  There are couples that date years before getting married and get divorced and couples that marry right away and stay together.

    Post # 11
    72 posts
    Worker bee

    I don’t consider getting married within 18 months alarmingly fast, unless they’re 25 or under. 

    I do find it odd when people marry within a year of getting together. It makes me wonder why they’re so hasty. Are they wanting to have kids asap? Is one of them insecure and wanting to tie the other one down right away? Are they immature and underestimating the commitment they’ve made? It’s not fair to judge, but that’s just some of the things I think about.


    Post # 12
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    it really depends on the couple. 

    my dad married my step mother after knowing her for only 4 months.  they have been married for over 30 years now.

    my dh proposed to me after 3 months.  i am pretty sure there were a lot of judgemental eyes focused our way.

    Post # 13
    2395 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I do if they’re young – I don’t think you know yourself or what you want well enough to make a decision like that quickly.


    When people are older (like 35+) I think absolutely nothing of it.  I married H 11 months after we met and no one was the least bit surprised. I was 38 and he was 41.


    Post # 14
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

     I think that if you marry while you’re still in the infatuation stage you are basically rolling the dice.  

    @cbgg:  +1,000.

    Getting engaged/married during the honeymoon phase is CRAZY to me.

    Post # 15
    72 posts
    Worker bee

    @sugar_biscuit:  That’s true. A couple friends of ours were together 10 years before marrying and divorced within a year.  


    Post # 16
    1303 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @linnylou_88:  Yes and no. I personally can’t understand how you can know anyone well enough to get engaged, say after only 6 mos., because marriage isn’t just about the lovey dovey feelings and the passion. It’s also about the practical stuff like compatibility, stability, etc. Then again, I also believe that each relationship is different and there are plenty of marriages out there where the couple got married young or quickly and they’re still married years and years later.

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