- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
The one big fight that FI and I have had is when I moved in with him. I had haphazardly thrown some things into a box that had not been unpacked since my move the year prior after grad school. In that box was a picture of my ex and I. My FI was trying to be helpful and unpack, and saw the picture. I didn't realize it was there, but we had a pretty big fight about it. I got a little defensive when I should have been empathetic, but either way it happened. I've been going through my things and have mostly deleted all of the pics of my ex from my photos on flickr and don't have any photo albums of us or anything. That one picture was pretty much the only one I had a physical copy of.
Did you throw it all out, or do you keep some reminders of your past relationships? I don't have a desire to have reminders of my ex, but I haven't consciously gone through everything that was a gift or reminder of him to throw it all away.
I have it in a shoebox somewhere. He has pictures of his ex too in a shoebox somewhere and we both know, it's is not a matter of disrespect. We aren't pining over our exs. It's just a past. I think sometimes it would be funny to pull it out and show my kids (in the distant future), "yeah, I had other boys beside your dad. I was hot stuff!" lol.
I have one picture of an ex somewhere in a memory box of random things from college. All my other ex pictures have been thrown away.
Well I'm friends with all of my ex's, and FI is on bad terms with all of his, so sure I have relics lying around (and FI knows of course), but I see these people somewhat regularly so I'm not really into the whole dumping/burning things that remind me of them :P
In high school and college, I used to take pictures like there was no tomorrow. I still have pics of exes in photo albums, but they're not easily accessible, and I don't go through them often. In fact, they're in a storage box somewhere in my closet, haha.
I kept a few things. I haven't been in that box in years though. There are lots of mementos in there, not just relationship ones. I know he has the same stuff though too, so I don't feel bad about it.
I threw out all of my photos after I watched him shred all the photos of his exes. :)
I still have some gifts that were from my ex bfs, but it's not for sentimental reasons, its because I actually still use the stuff!
i think i have some pics but i would have to look really really hard to find them - im terrible with pics, i dont even have pics of hubby and i in frames/printed
I still have all my pics. I love to pull out a box of photos and reminisce about different times of my life (be it with friends, ex boyfriends, family, whatever). I don't think it's disrespectful; he also has pics of his exes. It's part of our history and we have no intention of getting rid of them.
I am a pack rat... I still have notes that I was written in gradeschool from friends... it is slightly rediculous. But really. I like having all the pics and such, my past made me who I am today. I still go back and read some of the letters I have that were written to my by my bestest friend ever(besides my man), and he still has my replies. I really dont think it is disrespectful unless you are running around behind his back cheating with someone.
There are a couple of guys that I have pics of, and dont really care to have them, but oh well... And then there are others that are still friends with me and I keep them as a reminder of the freindship, not the petty highschool relationship.
BF and I were just talking about this last night a little. I've had 2 serious bfs before my current one. The first one I have nothing from because I burned it all in a bonfire after we broke up (first heart break... you know lol). With the second guy, I gathered up almost all the gifts he gave me and all the stuff that was "ours" like dvds and such and gave them all to him the night we broke up. I did keep one shoe box of stuff, some pictures, letters, etc etc. My bf doesn't understand why I didn't throw everything out... but it feels like throwing out a part of my history too. I don't want my ex back, but I wouldn't change anything about my past and I was with him for 5 years. I don't want to erase those 5 years just because it didn't work out. He is a good person and our relationship got me to where I am now... happy with my bf! That being said, it isn't like I ever go through the box. I am not even 100% sure where it is. I just know I did not throw it out and I'd rather not.
The only ex pictures I have are of my ex husband. They're in my daughter's baby books and I'm not going to throw their memories away. I also have a box of pictures and other stuff -my first wedding dress (poor dress is SHOVED in there), rings, pictures, etc that I have on the top shelf of my daughters's closet so that if they want them in the future, they're there. If they want to throw it all out later (minus the rings that could be turned into other jewelery later - like for a Sweet 16), that's their decision.
My husband would have a serious problem if I kept others around.
I have lots of pictures of my ex. They are still in old photo books. My FI knows about them and I may eventually get rid of them. It's not like the photo books are things that I look at often. I haven't looked at the pictures in a very long time and I'm still somewhat friends with my most recent ex. I still have jewelry from him that I wear occasionally, as well.
I don't have any...except I saved some from us at the prom. They're in a box at my parents' house. C'mon, i'm not going to throw away my prom pictures! But otherwise, nah, i tossed them when I got over him. Who needs that sitting around? My husband would be weirded out if I kept that....he'd probably go, "WHY?!" and realistically, I think i'd be a little miffed if he kept a box of old girlfriends' stuff! Granted, I didn't really date much in high school so it's not like I'm missing out on big chunks of my life, either. I'd feel differently if it was like, a 4 year time span or something. We're talking like, 8 months max here =]
i went out with my ex for 7 years. we did a lot of stuff, there's a lot of pictures. i'm not throwing away pictures from 7 years of my life just because he's in them. my fi isn't the jealous type so he doens't care, it's not like i'm always looking at them.
I love pictures and my life is documented by my pictures!
If I deleted all the pictures of my life 3 years of my life would be missing - he was a part of my life it is over now but he still was a part of my life and I don't know why I would throw away memories of my life just because they have pictures of my ex in them!!
I didn't vote because I have a lot of pictures of my ex and they are everywhere including my parents house. It's not that I am still hot on my ex or anything of the sort, nor do my parents love my ex more than my FI. I spent all of high school and my first two years of college with my ex, he's sort of everywhere throughout my pictures and memories of high school. Dances, football games, graduation, my ex was part of it and I wasn't about to throw away those pictures because he screwed up (we did not part on the best of terms, he cheated). My FI doesn't have a problem with this at all, in fact he enjoys seeing some of the old pictures and seeing my history. I sort of have the same mentality as CorgiTales, my ex is part of the reason I am who I am today and I wouldn't change that for the world, FI understands and respects that, pretty sure he agrees with it as well.
I checked, "kept a few"...but really this only applies to me because I have my prom / high school christmas dance pictures. But - since I'm 30 years old (DH and I have been together for 3 years) - and high school was over 10 years go - and I haven't SEEN my HS bf since then...I don't really think it counts.
I don't think he's ever seen/found them...and if he did - I know it wouldn't be a big deal at all.
But all the pics of me and the "ex" previous to DH got burned. :)
actually - I did find a lot on my computer after DH and I met - and as soon as I found them, I hard deleted em' (as I really did NOT ever want to see them again)...but I also do have one or two of a guy I *sorta* dated (and lived with) years ago...
I think it really depends on the ex-relationship as well as whether or not you know your FI/DH is jealous - if he is, and the pics mean nothing to you anymore - there's no point whatsoever in keeping them.
Again - in my case - they're my prom pics that I'm not getting rid of - but if they'd have been from christmas the year before DH and i met...yeah - those were a different story.
I think if you went and hunted down every picture of you and your ex, it would just show that you were devoting all of this time and energy... to your ex. I think an indifferent attitude towards old ex stuff just shows that you're really over it!
No if I come across old photos/gifts I throw them out no need for them and I think it would hurt his feelings if he thought I held onto those things!
i've thrown away all the photos of my 'serious ex'. we're not on speaking terms and i really do not care for him. it was a long time ago and i've moved on. hahaha i've just re-read what i wrote and it sounds like i'm really bitter! i'm not! it's just that i am super happy with where i am right now in my life and the past doesn't mean anything to me anymore.
I have a few. My mother told me my grandmother threw out all of my mother's old boyfriend photos and letters when she married my dad. My mom said she really regrets not having them to just be able to go down memory lane and laugh how life has turned out. So I plan on keeping a few.
threw them out! I'm pretty confident in my choices and ya know, what do i need pictures of exes for anyway? My fiance has pix and keeps in touch with his, which I find strange, but he also isn't as blunt as I am to not keep in touch with some people. It doesn't bother me, but I do think it's weird!
I voted that I threw out everything, but that's not exactly accurate... - I kept whatever is in my Senior Memories book from high school and school dance pics - for the same reason that other bees have mentioned. It'll be neat to share some things with your kids.
What I did throw away were the ticket stubs, greeting cards, sweet notes - whatever. That part of my history is just that - history. Yes, i made me who I am, but no, I don't need to relive those sappy moments. Those relationships are over for a reason.
I also have a box for my children that has some things for them. My veil and wedding album, preggars pics, etc. Even though their dad and I are divorced, I want them to have the chance to see those things as adults.
I deleted all the ones I had on my computer except for one (it's across the Seine with the Notre Dame cathedral in the background, the lighting is phenomenal, and I loook HOT in it... so, yeah, selfish reasons). As for pre-digital age stuff, I do have a bunch in a box somewhere but it's in storage at my parents' house and I'm not about to go rummaging around in all that stuff just to dump pictures of exes. That seems a little excessive. It's not like I ever see them or even know which box it is. But anything on the computer got dumped pretty soon after we broke up except that one pic, and let me tell you if I knew how to Photoshop at all well I'd get him out of it.
My ex and I dated for 12 years. So I threw out everything except highschool dance and prom pics. I don't feel like I should lose out on those pics just because he was a terrible boyfriend. I guess it just depends on how your fiance understands how "over" your feelings are for him. Make it really clear!
I've done the same as Querida. I have a large box with all the photos and memories so my son one day will know that he was conceived in love and that daddy and mommy at one time really did love each other.
I can't get rid of things b/c my ex is my ex husband and the father of my child. If he weren't I probably might.
It is certainly complicating when you have kids.
I do have a few cards from my college bf when I was in Miss TN. I kept all the cards from my friends and college from that and it is to me, just like a time capsule, nothing more.
I'm who I am. Past and all. My past will never overshadow my future with T and my son though! Full speed ahead!
T's divorced and I have told him it's ok to have pics of his xw for the kids sometimes. I have no prob w/that.
Kept a few, tossed a ton. It was 5 years of my life, I think it would be impossible to get rid of everything, and it's not like I want to pretend he never existed. Most pics are group shots anyway.
Ooh great question! I have "memorial" shoeboxes. I never open them, but it helps me to know that they are there for some reason. One of them has an engagement ring that I can't imagine inflicting on anyone else (since it has such bad juju) but can't throw away either. (I mean who throws away precious stones?)
Interesting!
Well, FI and I have been dating since college (ehem, 8 years) so there are no "recent" photos of exes around. I think I have an album that has pictures of some old college boyfriends and maybe highschool boyfriend too. It would be too much effort to go through the albums and take out all the pictures. I don't have any pictures lying around though.
I never had too many photos with my exes in them anyway, but I did not go out of my way to delete them. They are a memento of my life and the relationships were good while I was in them. It just didn't work out is all.
Some things that have stayed around is that many of my exes gave me jewelry that I really like. I still have the jewelry and wear it just like I wear the rest of my jewelry (no extra preference either way). The way I see it, they may have been gifts, but they are my things now and I can do what I want with them.
I still have these pictures. They are not in frames sitting out :D just stuck in a box with a bunch of other old pics. Since they are jsut hapazardly thrown with others I think my FI knows that I am not pinning over the exs....
We both have pictures of exes. I would feel terrible asking my FI to get rid of pictures from his past. Just because things didn't work out between them, does not mean that I don't want him to have memories of the good times that they once had. We don't frame them and put them all around the house or anything, they just sit nicely in albums with other old pictures. Though perhaps we're freakish because we're friends with some of our exes (in fact one of my exes introduced us!).
I threw them all out after I meet my fi. It wasn't like throwing away any past or relative memories...and it wasn't anything I needed to keep.
Before him, I had them all in a shoebox. But, than again sometimes I would have "back up" boyfriends when things fail. So I wanted to throw that out as well as anything to make sure I was commited...I guess, to myself.
I don't have any pictures, letters, or items from an ex-boyfriend. I even went through my Gmail account and deleted all emails to and from them. LOL.
One of my exes is my bridesman - my fiance is fine with it. I'm on great terms with some of my exes and have drifted apart from others. But I see no reason to destroy any photographic evidence of the relationship - knowing (and dating) those people made me who I am today, the woman my fiance fell in love with.
I threw out a lot of things, like 90% of what I had. I went through my room and stacks of photos, if I could smile or laugh at the photos, I kept them! If it gave me even the slightest bit of sadness or pain, I tossed it. I've moved on and I only want tokens which support that. My FI has very few things of his ex's, and at my slightest sigh would discard whatever. He's also very supportive of me keeping whatever or discarding whatever. And I find that each time I clean I am more and more done with the past and willing to throw things away.
I've likely tossed mine out by now. Not because I was mad or because I don't want FI to see them, but because I toss out pretty much everything I don't use anymore. I don't keep cards or much of anything for sentimental reasons. I'm just not that way. So...for me, if I come across them or any stuff like that, I'd likely just toss it because it's something I don't need anymore.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| aussiebee | 10 |
| MrsOliveBird | 9 |
| janetsnakehole | 8 |
| j_jaye | 5 |
| Rivendeler | 5 |
| simpleandchic | 4 |
| Scottish_lassie | 4 |
| Adalita | 4 |
| MabelleBliss | 3 |
| Sarahbear | 3 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MrsOliveBird | 1 |
| miss_blondie86 | 1 |
