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Did you or do you know of anyone that conceived while NFP such as FAM?
I'm trying to figure out if it happens most because they had intercourse during the fertile window - or if it happens most because the are ovulating when they think they are not.
Edit to add: could you please add details about the circumstance? I'm adding a poll :)
Yes, but they have all admitted they took a chance during a risky time.
Yep, one of my BMs got pregnant when she was charting. I'm not so sure she was consistant with it though.
@BoiledPNut: would you ask her for more details and post back when you can?
Yes, one of my intended bridesmaids too. She ended up not making it to our wedding as she was about to be due. She was pretty dilligent charting too.
I'm interested in more information because we are considering NFP once we're married next month. Whoa- NEXT MONTH. That just got real! We hate condoms, and I don't want the chemicals from BC in my body. Plus, we plan to start ttc within the next year.
I have one friend who got pregnant while NFP. She was fertile during their honeymoon and they decided abstaining wasn't worth it. They have four kids now, I'm fairly sure they were more or less planned but I'm not positive.
Just for clarification NFP means that the man is ejaculating inside the woman, right? So it's not the same as POM?
@PitBulLover: I thought it meant the exact opposite. Well then I mean we are looking into the pom as bc and I was wondering how effective that is when used correctly!
@lawgirl12: no Im pretty sure theyre different. We use POM and I dont chart or anything. He just pulls out every single time. NFP Im 99% sure that the man is ejaculating but only during the non-fertile times of the month
We've been using POM for 5+ years and it's been working ever since....
@PitBulLover: My understanding of NFP is that you chart, keep track of cervical fluid, etc, and avoid during fertile days (you can ejaculate during sex if you're not fertile). Techinically, NFP is generally associated w/ Catholics, b/c it involves religious aspects and abstaining during fertile time if you're avoiding pregnancy. FAM is basically the same charting/temping rules, but there's no religious aspect so you can use condoms during your fertile time (or anytime, really) if you'd like, rather than abstaining. Either NFP or FAM charting/temping methods could be used with the pull out method, just to be *extra* safe.
@lawgirl12: Again, we are the same person. So weird. Hahah.
@oracle: Unfortunately, I don't know anyone that's been using NFP/FAM for any significant amount of time, but my understanding is that if you've understood and followed the rules, you'll know when you're ovulating. So my guess is that most of these surprise babies are from having sex when you know you're fertile and not using protection of another sort.
@NDBee: HAHAHA If you lived close I'd meet you for coffee! Not in the, "I'm a creepy internet stalker who is going to harm you in real life" way, but more of a, "we have WAY too much in common, let's meet in a public place sip a latte and laugh about it," kind of way!
Man, reading over that has me finally realizing that working in the DV unit at a DA office really has me over cautious/reading into everything as some possible death motive lmao!! Must get out of criminal law!
But, totally not doing NFP/FAM. Can't sperm live inside of you for like 5 days? So, if you became fertile in that time frame, you O'ed sooner than expected you'd potentially become pregnant. That seems too risky to me. POM for the win.
Yep, but they were admittedly inconsistent with it and weren't exactly using it as BC - it was more of a NTNT situation.
yep, me. but i had just started charting two months prior... i am assuming i read some sort of sign wrong.
@lawgirl12: Sperm can live that long IF fertile cervical mucus is present. Otherwise, their life span is much shorter. That said, most NFP surprise babies are conceived from the transition into the fertile time after your period.
I don't know anyone in real life who unexpectedly got pregnant on NFP. However, I do know a lot of success stories (myself included)!
I'm embarrased to ask.. what does NFP and FAM mean? I'm on BC and sometimes wonder what my chances are of getting pregnant in that very tiny percentage chance.
@lawgirl12: We used POM for 3 years succesfully with no opps. We decided to TTC and got pregnant on the first try so I would say it done correctly it's very effective.
One of my very good friends has been doing this for about 4 years and they are still child free. The people who taught our pre-cana said they've used it for their entire marriage. It helped them get pregnant and prevent it. I don't know anyone who did this perfectly and got pregnant without wanting to.
I have been charting for almost 2 years. It started when I had problems with my BC right before my wedding and didn't want to risk side effects starting something new. No accidents at all. We started TTC last year and no luck :( I was suprised at how different my cycles were naturally compared using hormonal birth control.
I have known more people that have gotten pregnant using the pill incorrectly then people who chart correctly!
I'm a moderator on an NFP group on another forum. I've known of a woman (IN PERSON) that has gotten pregnant through the 1st one. Her symptoms were unclear and her husband and her chanced it which I consider a user failure.
The other two I've seen happen after looking at their charts. One had a 2nd temperature shift after the first one and they had sex 3 days after the first and 4 days before her 2nd so I say that it a method failure due to ovulating unexpectedly. And I know a couple of others who still temped perfectly, and charted their CP/CM and still got pregnant. I think unless you're willing to accept whatever comes from sex, NFP should not be used unless a barrier contraceptive is used alongside it which then makes it FAM.
One of my good friends used NFP and her cycle was pretty irregular. It was a 'maybe baby' day, but not a high fertility window. She said that sometimes It's just hard to connect with your husband when so many days out of the month were considered 'maybes.' She now has a 4 month old son!
My SIL! they said they wanted to wait a year after marriage to have a baby - she was pregnant 1 month after her wedding. I'm not sure how her charting compared to her pregnancy though - she may have guessed her ovulation date wrong.
Also, FAM is charting plus barriers. NFP is abstaining during the fertile period. Most of the people I know use NFP. I'm not a very devout Catholic, so I have no problem suggesting barriers. I've seen women have crisis pregnancies even when they charted perfectly and I think it does a disservice to them to state otherwise that they won't ever get pregnant even if they chart perfectly. Some of the way the studies were done were questionable. They threw out a lot of women in the studies (particularly women who have a history of irregular cycles or were under/over weight which is super common) and they achieved better stats because of it. If I were to give a more accurate stat it'd be 75-80%, not the 99% that's suggested by all the various methods: Sympto-thermal, Creighton, Billings, Marquette, etc.
@beekiss: Okay just to be clear, does FAM (Fertility Awareness Method) mean the man still ejaculates inside of the woman, however during the fertile period (which you deduce from charting and other symptoms) they use a condom?
For those of you using POM (pull out method) do you still have sex during your fertile window? Do you still chart/know your fertile window?
What a useful thread! We are trying to figure out what will work best for us. We want to ttc within 1-2 yrs but absolutely not before I take (*and pass*) the bar exam this July!
@lawgirl12: We still had sex using POM during my fertile window.
Ive been doing a lot of research on this and Ive asked so many questions. Its such a risky method but Im sure its a lot better then any hormonal contraceptives. I do have a question though : For those who had a baby, was it hard for you to use the NFP after your delivery? I know that right after our periods will be irregular for a while or atleast not show up for a few months ( especially if your breast feeding ) - So how can anyone use this method right after having a baby?
@Mrsgurzakovic: I just checked TCOYF, and it doesn't seem to discuss that (or maybe only gives it fleeting mention.) I've heard that it is really best to take a class or meet with an instructor post-partum. Basically you identifiy a "basic infertile pattern" of mucus, then you look for a *change* in it.
@Mrsgurzakovic: The post partum period is quite difficult to chart due to a number of reasons. First off, many parents are sleep deprived and don't get the regular, needed amount of sleep to get an accurate basal body temperature. Secondly, cervical fluid/mucous patches occur when your body is gearing up for ovulation. Breastfeeding does affect your ability to ovulate but it varies from woman-to-woman so there's not enough study/info done on it. Of the people I listed who had failures (which there are more that I didn't list), two of them were in the post partum period and were breastfeeding.
I also wanted to add that I do like FAM/NFP. It's a wonderful resource but I have a very realistic view on it. I've seen some women get no answers as to why they achieved pregnancy when they were trying to prevent it. I just hope everyone goes into it with just a little skepticism.
I don't personally know anyone who has used it consistantly, to TTC or TTA, but I am really interested. It just seems to me that there are so many maybe days that it wouldn't make it worth it-- and the maybe days are the times when you want to the most!
That said, I plan to get off the pill and use FAM until we are ready to TTC, but if we got pregnant a few months earlier than planned it would be no big deal at all.
@beekiss: , @joy2011: Thank you both!
But what Can a woman do then when shes in the post Partum period? Especially a woman who wants an all natural barrier? this is whats so horrible about the whole BC methods, its either you harm your body by hormones to prevent or you try to be as Natural and healthy as possible but you end up getting knocked up again haha!
@Mrsgurzakovic: There are a couple of books on the post partum period but all that I know are written from a Catholic perspective so I thought I'd warn you. I've seen over a dozen women prolong their infertile period after giving birth by over year just by breastfeeding but it's very difficult and you have to adhere to some pretty harsh proticols (which are impossible if you don't plan on being with the baby 24/7). Another option is condoms but I don't know if you have a religious opposition to them or not?
I encourage you to take a class if you want to be really good at identifying the postpartum time period. Many Catholic diocese offer courses through Billings, Creighton, sympto-thermal (which is what everyone believes NFP is), and Marquette. These are all run by Catholic people usually. If you PM me your location I can look up some resources for you.
Here's a workbook from a Sympto-thermal teaching group called the "Couple-to-Couple League," they're the most well-known group for teaching methods. They offer postpartum classes:
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Family-Planning%C2%AE-Postpartum-Student/dp/0926412329
I thought I was charting correctly the past 2 months, but I guess not, because we ended up getting pregnant 1 month before we were going to actually start trying.
@beekiss: Thank you :) well I wouldnt mind taking any classes no matter where it is so Im sure Id still attend since itll be very beneficial to me and my body. Im not married nor prego yet but I still wnted to know that there are options out there besides harmful hormonal contraceptives. condoms are an okay idea I guess for a minimal time until classes are taken and more familiar with whats going on.
Thank you so much for the link as well! will check it out!
@Mrsgurzakovic: If you're just learning the method, I strongly encourage you to read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=pd_vtp_b_4
It's written without the religious slant and is very informative (but there isn't a lot of info on the postpartum period which is why I suggested the earlier workbook).
@beekiss: Yea Ive heard a lot about the book! I plan on purchasing it this month and start getting my reading on!
Ive come across this : http://ladycomp-babycomp.com/show.php/en/pearly by any chance have you seen /heard of it before? would this be something that might be used for after pregnancy?
I'm not up on the NFP but I have a friend who got pregnant while using the pull out method RELIGIOUSLY and wayy before he ejaculates (obviously some sperm still comes out but yeah). She was totally not expecting it and it came at the worrrrst time.
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