(Closed) Do you lie to your SO?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you lie to your SO?
    Yes : (100 votes)
    52 %
    No : (94 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Absolutely. I lie about little stupid things all the time. It is just easier and hurts no one.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t lie, I massage the truth. He doesn’t need to know how much my clothes/makeup/jewelry cost.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think whoever voted no is lying 😉

    Post # 6
    Member
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t lie about anything. After we went through lossing Moose, we had to be completely open about everything just to get through. Since then, it’s just stayed as part of who we are as a couple.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I do sometimes on small things! Usually it’s the time we need to leave by. I tell him about 15-20 minutes earlier than we actually need to leave by b/c he’s always late!

    Post # 9
    Member
    8738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @2PeasinaPod: My FI does this to me, but in an opposite way. Whatever time he says he’s leaving work, I know to pad it by at least 30 min (sometimes as much as an hour). Also, if he says he’s at a specific intersection, I know he’s at least 2 blocks farther away than that.

    So I’ve learned to adapt my timing for his idea of how long “15 min” is.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Not intentionally.  Several years ago, I challenged myself to not make those little white lies to anyone.  It made me really mindful of what I was communicating.  In a nutshell, I found that it wasn’t necessary to lie (ie: if I wanted to say that something was on sale when it wasn’t – instead of mentioning it at all, I wouldn’t).  I’m sure I have lied to him about something or other -but on very rare occasions.

    On the other hand, I find myself lying to my mother more frequently since I got engaged (when she gets too nosey or asks about things I don’t want her to know).  If I tell her anything, half the family will know (even about stupid things) and I’d rather not go there.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Haha…I don’t mean for it to be a bad thing, but then we aren’t late! It’s rare that he’s on time. When he is…and then figures out that he has 15 more minutes, it’s like the lightbulb goes off. He’s like, “wait a minute…” Ha! He thinks it’s kind of funny when he realizes what I did. Poor guy…

    Post # 12
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    yep little things, like the OP said about something being on sale when it wasn’t.

    Oh and when he is out of town, I lie about what I’m eating for dinner Embarassed he thinks its a salad and I’m really chowing on a pizza.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    Nope – no lying, haven’t really found a need to.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I said no before I read your last line: “or are you 100% truthful about everything with your SO?”

    I don’t think anyone is 100% truthful ALL THE TIME, but the only time I will “white lie” to him is if something will hurt his feelings, and even then I try to be truthful. Like the other day he made French toast with nutmeg, and I don’t like nutmeg. He asked me if I liked the French toast, and I said “yes, but I would just prefer it without nutmeg.” So I spared his feelings while getting my point across, so next time, he’ll make mine with cinnamon instead. 🙂

    But I feel really guilty about lying, so I think about it a lot. (I used to lie a lot to previous ex’s so I think that’s why. He deserves better from me than what I gave to them.) If there are things I don’t want to do, I just try to be honest. “Sorry, I just really didn’t feel like picking up the cat food. I’m tired.” Or if there’s something (unimportant) that I don’t feel like telling him, I don’t. (I bought three pairs of pants on Monday that I didn’t mention to him. If he asks where I got them, I’ll tell him, but if not, it doesn’t matter.)

    It’s the same with others in my life. If my mom gives me leftovers and I forget to eat them, I just can’t bring myself to say, “Yea, mom, they’re gone.” I feel compelled to say, “Sorry, mom, I totally forgot about them. :(” 

     

    ETA: I think it helps that my FH doesn’t get mad (and I try very hard not to). We believe that anger is a secondary emotion (that stems from another emotion, like frustration, embarrassment, hurt feelings, etc.), so we try to figure out what the anger is “masking” and go from there. And we are both very good at apologizing when we’re wrong, so on the rare occasion that I tell the truth when I don’t want to and FH says something that I don’t appreciate, he’ll apologize for it (and vice versa).

    Post # 15
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    i’m actually a horrible liar 🙁 my sister can so wen we were younger she would have to lie for the both of us but then my parents would look at me and i’d yell out i’m sooooorrrryyy haha FI can tell as well when i lie so eh i tell him everything even when i know he will get mad but i feel if he finds out he’ll be even more mad :/

    Post # 16
    Member
    828 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    not lie so much as withholding information…. like I went to see “Black Swan” with friends before we saw it together… sorry, honey! 

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