Post # 1
I know this is a wedding site, so the answers may be slightly skewed. However, people may be on the site to get tips on their own wedding (or for some other reason entirely), not necessarily because they love participating in other people’s weddings.
I have only been in 2 – one was my sister’s, and one was for a close friend who is like a sister to me. I had to (graciously) turn down being in one recently because I can’t swing it logistically (I’ve moved to a different province and I simply can’t afford to fly back any more than we do now).
How about you? Do you consider it an “honour” or is it more of an obligation?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
I’ve been a bridesmaid three times and I loved it! but every single time I didn’t have to pay for the dress, and I didn’t have to lift a finger. so I was pretty lucky.
I hate party planning, so I would not really want to be a maid of honor.
Post # 4
@nerdybird: I was the MOH for my sister and it was a lot of work (and money). I don’t think I would agree to that role for anyone who wasn’t family. Sounds like you had good brides! 🙂
Post # 5
I think it’s a really fun and exciting thing to do . . . for someone that I’m really close with.
Because it is a lot of work, money and responsibility, I wouldn’t enjoy doing it for someone that isn’t a very close friend or relative. For those people, I’d rather just be guest.
I know it’s common to call it an “honor,” but I don’t really look at it that way.
Post # 6
I hate being in wedding parties. Hate it! And not because it’s a lot of money, because where I live it’s not (the bride pays for all the bridesmaid dresses, bridal showers don’t exist, and bachelorette parties are usually pretty inexpensive), but for some reason I just find it to be immensely anxiety-provoking being in a bridal party. I would much rather just be a guest.
ETA: To be fair, my opinion may be somewhat skewed by the fact that the first time I was a bridesmaid I ended up in hospital on the morning of the wedding, got released from hospital 2 hours before the ceremony started, had to be driven 1 hour to the ceremony site, had to hurriedly shower and then do my own hair and make-up in the 1 remaining hour, and then walk down the aisle still feeling half-dead. So perhaps my opinion is not a good reflection of the general population.
Post # 7
I was a flower girl in my sister’s wedding, but I was 8 so didn’t have to do anything. I was recently a BM in my cousin’s wedding, and I didn’t think it was an obligation at all, I was happy that she asked/wanted me to stand up with her!
I don’t think that I’d be a BM for anyone who wasn’t a relative or close friend, however. There just aren’t many girls I’m be comfortable spending that type of committment, time, and money on, so I’d probably decline.
Post # 8
I’ve been in 2 weddings and I have to say, I think it’s an honor, but very expensive! Where are you bees living where you don’t have to pay for your dresses!? I want to move there 🙂
I think it can sometimes be fun, but honestly I think I would rather just be a guest. I always felt bad for my FI because he was left alone with not really knowing anyone else there while I was off doing things and taking pictures. Also, paying for a dress, shoes, the shower, shower and wedding gifts, and the bachelorette party?! It can really add up. I’m purposely not having a bridal party in my wedding because I know what a burden it can be.
Post # 9
I love it, but fortunately in my circles it’s not a big obligation: (optionally) go dress shopping, pay for the dress (though sometimes the bride does), and an inexpensive “hen night” (bachelorette party).
Post # 10
I was a bridesmaid once. It was fun and I was honored to be a part of the bride’s day, but I’m kind of poor so it was a financial strain. I prefer just being a guest.
Post # 11
I enjoyed it the one time I was asked to, but the bride was very low-key, and so for the most part I really did just need to show up to the shower, buy the dress, and be there for the weekend. I think I’d still enjoy it if asked again, though. 🙂
Post # 12
I enjoy it and think it’s an honour. The only part of it that bothers me is sitting seperately from my partner during the ceremony and reception – sure, it’s not a big deal to be away from him for a few hours, but I get social anxiety, so feel a bit awkward on my own, or partnered up with a groomsman I’ve never met.
For the most part, I love it! I love not having to worry about what to wear to a wedding, I love being able to support the bride and share in the excitement of wedding planning, and I love being able to help take care of the bride on the day
Post # 13
I was MOH twice, for my sister and best friend. It was expected for both but I was happy. I’m hoping I never have to be in one again though.
Post # 14
I’ve only been a bridesmaid once and I found it to be an honor and fun, though expensive. I didn’t feel obliged to do anything, I was just happy to help out my beautiful friend.
Post # 15
Totally depends on the bride! It’s always both an honour and a commitment, but some brides make it easy and fun and you WANT to offer your help…while others make it stressful and annoying and all you want to do is avoid their calls. When the big day comes though, I’m always excited to be a bridesmaid.
All that said, i will not say “yes” to anyone/everyone who asks just because it’s supposed to be an honour. It’s a mutual decision and I have turned down someone before because I just didn’t have any time or energy to lend to their cause (I had a much more tactful letdown, don’t worry!)