Do you like having the support of others or does it stress you out more?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How do you prefer to handle stressful situations?
    On my own : (13 votes)
    45 %
    With support : (7 votes)
    24 %
    Other (both, neither, depends...) explain! : (9 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I personally do not plan to tell of my pregnancy until I am well on my way. I for one don’t like to go through difficult times in the eyes of others. I don’t want to mourn the loss and have everyone around me asking if I’m alright and tell me they’re sorry. I’d rather pick up the pieces with just my husband and I.

    Post # 5
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m VERY private about my personal emotions, and wouldn’t want people asking me about how I was coping after a MC (if I am ever unfortunate enough to suffer one).

    That being said, I have NO self control and told everyone super early anyway!

    Post # 7
    Member
    906 posts
    Busy bee

    I like the support of others. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    There are threads and threads here chronicling the unfortunate women who announced early and miscarried early – sure, there are also many great stories of their wonderful friends and family being there in exactly the way they need. But it wasn’t that long ago that there was a bee saying that her in-laws told them they “had” to start trying again immediately and that it was “God’s will” that they had a loss. The mother-in-law wanted play-by-play details of the miscarriage, I guess so she could compare it to one of her past miscarriages. I believe the couple in question wasn’t particularly torn up about the loss – they were a little – but the parents were trying to argue with them that they should feel a particular way about it.

    In any case, that’s just one example. I’m sure the OP has had problems with these in-laws in the past, so a reaction like that isn’t out of the blue. I’m heavier and my hope is to conceal a pregnancy until I’m at least 16 weeks along.

    I don’t like to grieve on a public stage. Our families don’t really ask us about kids. His brings it up periodically, but I’ve outright lied and told them we don’t want kids. It makes it easier. We’ve been trying long enough  now that I can’t imagine how annoyed we’d be if the family thought we were trying – every month, they’d want an update.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    It depends on the situation. I feel, especially with the type of family that I have, that support can be suffocating at times or not the type of support that I truly need. At the same time, I think it’s very important not to isolate yourself when you are feeling truly low and weak.

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