Post # 1
Just curious, how many of you do NOT (or did not) live together while you’re dating/engaged? I feel like I am one of very very few people who will be moving in with my fiance for the first (long-term) time after the wedding! If you’re in the same boat, why don’t you live together? Are you worried about certain things? For those of you that do live together before tying the knot, any major adjustments you had to go through?
Post # 3
We’re not living together before we get married. It is really important to us for religious reasons. I’m VERY excited to move into our new apartment when we get back from our honeymoon (most of my stuff will be there already). It seems like many people are concerned about living together before they get married to see what the person is truly like — I think I can understand where they are coming from! I guess I’m just trying not to harbor any unrealistic expectations — I certainly have some weird habits, and I know he does, too.
Post # 4
We aren’t living together prior to marriage either (because of our religion), and it seems so far from the norm! I don’t think I’ll be in for any big surprises, we already spend most of our time together anyway– just none of our sleeping time together! I’m looking forward to waking up next to my husband the morning after our wedding though!!
Post # 5
We don’t live together for a couple reasons. We know that our parents would disapprove, for one thing. For another, we were both happy in our current living situations and haven’t been together very long — only a year and a half. My lease is up three days before the wedding, so it’s no hardship at all for us to wait until then. We spend three or four nights a week together anyway, usually at his place, so I do feel like I paying for an apartment I don’t live in. 😛
Post # 6
We lived together before ever getting engaged, but we had talked about marriage a lot before even moving in together. For me, it was the only way I’d feel comfortable making a commitment of this magnitude AND it seemed financially silly for us to be spending so many nights together but each paying for different leases. But everyone is different. It was the way it worked for us, and we were fortunate enough to have parents and families that totally didn’t mind.
Post # 7
No, we’re both living rent free at home for the next year in our parents home (we are both recent grads) so we can save for the wedding. Also it’s our personal religious beliefs, and makes the wedding that much more anticipated for us, it’s really the start of our lives together.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
We moved in together after two years of dating. Honestly, we should’ve moved in together sooner–after our first year of being together, each of our leases ran out, so we each rented apartments down the street from each other. What a waste of money! And I was always sleeping at his place. My poor cats were all alone. 🙁 Now they have a mommy and a daddy! We recently bought a house together, and that was so exciting! By the time we get married we will have lived together for over 3 years.
Post # 9
monalisa670: I do NOT have any friends that live or have lived with their significant other until they got married….you’re not alone!! For me it’s really weird to hear people say things like "What?? You guys still live with your parents?" or "How on earth do you know if you want to marry him if you’ve never LIVED with him?" My answer to the latter question is…majority of couples on this planet DO NOT live together before marriage. I don’t think it really makes a difference…it’s just a difference in lifestyles and choices…just like some people choose to have a big huge fancy wedding while others want a smaller private destination wedding…neither is better than the other =)
Post # 10
My fiance and I will have been together for almost 6 years before our wedding, 4 of those long distance with us both at our respective colleges. The first two years, we were in high school so we clearly each lived in our own homes! I know that living together will be an adjustment, but as crazy as it sounds, I am confident in our ability to work through problems and communicate. The thought of starting our life together is really exciting, and with our situation (it involves the military) this is what works for us!
Post # 11
Not yet, but we will soon. We’ve been together almost 3 years, but I was in college for the first two and a half of those and lived on campus. When I graduated, I moved into an apartment all of two blocks from my FI’s apartment, which has been great. We’ve signed a lease on our own place that we’ll be moving into in Sept. (in Boston, because of the gigantic student population, most of the apartment leases run from Sept. or May/June. We’re both locked into our current leases until the end of August).
Post # 12
We were long distance for three years while I finished college and grad school. When I graduated, I found a job close to him and my family and we moved in together – we’ll have lived together for 2 and 1/2 years by the time we get married and I am VERY happy that we did that; he had never had a roommate before and it was very frustrating for a while!
Post # 13
Oh my goodness, where do I start? We moved in together about a year and a half ago. At this point, we’d had a discussion regarding marriage, so I felt pretty confident in the ol’ merging of the households. You know how they say that the first year of your marriage is the hardest? I think they say that because traditionally, this was the first year that people live together. Our first year living together was AN ADJUSMENT lemme tell ya. We really learned about each other on all new levels. We went through so many growing pains as a couple, and it has been a total journey of compromises. Now we are set and happy, and things seem so much easier. I’m hoping that when we get married things stay just the way they are now!
Post # 14
We do live together and have officially for about 6 months. Prior to that, I was spending most of my non-work time at his place anyway. Thing is, I’m 32 and he’s 39 and this is the first time either one of us has live with a SO. I’d never been with anyone I wanted to live with before my FI. I alway lived at my parents and he’s had his own place for about 10 years. It just felt right for us to move in together. We knew pretty early on that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I also lived about 40 miles away before I moved in, so I was tired of having half my clothes at his place, half at my dads and hauling stuff back and forth between both places. It was right for us, we’ve learned a lot about each other. He’s never lived with a woman other than his mom so I’m sure it’s been a bit of an adjustment for him! It’s been a learning experience, but natural for both of us.
Post # 15
We moved in together after dating for 6 years and 1 year before we got engaged. It has worked well for us!
Post # 16
We’ve lived together for almost 6 years, dating for 8+. Through it all we’ve bought a house together and adopted a wonderful puppy.
Actually all my dating friends are living together with their boyfriends. 😛
Everyone’s different I guess. But honestly, I think everyone couple should live together before getting married. It was never a issue for us but some people are funny about money…and when you’re living together there are bills to split, groceries to split, household duties to split. When you’re spending the night over as opposed to actually living there you don’t have to worry about that. And when you’re living together you cannot hide anything. And the only reason I’m saying that is I’ve known couples who have been honky dorky and when they moved in together they find out habits about each they just do not like.
anyway, we were extremely lucky that our lifestyles melded completely.
So honestly we’re more "married" then most married couples.