Do You Look Through Their Phones?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you "snoop"?
    Yes, often : (21 votes)
    10 %
    Only if they give me a reason to : (37 votes)
    18 %
    No, it's not my business what they do : (80 votes)
    38 %
    We're open about everything with one another : (70 votes)
    34 %
  • Post # 3
    4367 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    He doesn’t care, and I don’t look.  And really because I don’t care.

    Post # 4
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Wanting privacy doesn’t mean he’s hiding something. We don’t snoop on each other because we trust each other and respect each others right to privacy.

    Post # 5
    441 posts
    Helper bee

    If I distrusted my SO enough to snoop on him, I wouldn’t be with him.

    (I don’t mean that I would never ever snoop, but if I did, trust would already be gone and the relationship would be close to breaking up, and a complete 180 would be required to fix it.)

    Post # 6
    8678 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My husband wouldn’t care if I looked, but I don’t.

    Same with me — I wouldn’t care if he looked, but he doesn’t.

    We have a mutual respect of one another’s privacy and personal belongings.

    Post # 7
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @katiebeary:  I’m with you, there is no privacy in our relationship, lol. I am very open with my fiance and could care less if he went through my phone – I’ve got nothing to hide. I guess since I feel this way, I think he should too if he also has nothing to hide. Good thing this works for us because alot of people really value their privacy and couldn’t handle it.

    Post # 8
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @katiebeary:  He probably got defensive because he felt you couldn’t trust him enough NOT to snoop through his phone. If my FI had something on his phone I wanted to look at, I’d just ask him point blank, “Hey, can I see the games you got on your phone?” and he would likely oblige me.

    Post # 9
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    FI has this friend who constantly sends funny pictures to him, so if I’m on his phone playing games I’ll go look at his messages to see what new pictures there are.  FI doesn’t care and neither does his friend.  FI couldn’t care less if I go through his phone, he has one girl friend who has limited texting so if she makes plans with us through him, she’ll get on facebook and tell me to go look at the plans on his phone because she knows he’ll forget to tell me lol.  But there really isn’t any secrets between us, he has never had a friend say “don’t tell alyssa this” because all of our close friends who we have the kinds of conversations that wouldn’t normally be shared understand our secretless relationship and they are just fine with it.

    Post # 10
    376 posts
    Helper bee

    Yes. Because I want to see if he bought the ring or not. :/

    Post # 11
    466 posts
    Helper bee

    I would care if my SO looked through my phone, but that’s more because I have a tendancy to google crazy things.  I’m a bit of hypocondriac, so I’m always searching things like “shoulder pain, am I dying?” or “stubby toe = cancer!”  I would be super embarrassed if he saw that!  I know its nutty but I do it anyway.  Undecided 

    We don’t really look through eachothers phones, but when we do we always seem to find disturbing/embarassing things.  Last time I borrowed his phone, I was searching a website which started with a C, and chubbygirlporn .com came up.  Lol, I made fun of him for a long time for that one.  Once he looked through my phone and I was looking up things about pregnancy.  My period was 2 days late, and I was whigging out about being pregnant, so he got to be paranoid with me about that one too.  (Luckily, I wasn’t).

    Probably it had more to do with his search history than anything more serious.  🙂  

    Post # 12
    728 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    FI told from the beginning that I have full access to his phone and computer at any time, no questions asked. I have never once taken him up on that because I trust him completely. I get on his computer often to answer emails or look something up without asking, but I only look at what I need.

    Post # 13
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    No we don’t snoop but I specifically told FI not to go through my phone because I have my wedding dress photos in there!

    Post # 14
    2189 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    We are both 100% open. I don’t snoop because he’s so open with everything I have nothing to snoop for. He wouldn’t care if I did, we use each others phones and stuff.

    Post # 15
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    My FI took my tablet and started looking at all my wedding bee posts 😛 Luckily I had said some nice things about him, unluckily he got more awful ideas from a thread about crazy things your groom requested. He also wanted to start commenting on some of the threads, but I wouldn’t let him. I told him to get his own account and not use mine 🙂

    Oh, and I told him not to look through pictures on my phone because there are pictures of my dress, my veil, etc. And now I’m thinking I shouldn’t post pictures of the veil I made on here before the wedding because he might see it 🙁




    Post # 16
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @katiebeary:  I agree with you – defensive people often have something to hide. I will share my life with you, but stay away from my phone? Give me a break. FI and I can use anything of each other’s at any time and it is a non-issue.

    Over the weekend, I was on his phone and I looked at his text messages (out of curiosity, not “snooping”) and I used it to make plans with one of our friends that he had been having a dialogue with (he’s very bad at making plans, so he would never do it himself).

    He uses my phone too, we use each other’s laptops, and anything else we want. I’d be concerned if there were any secret devices in our relationship. I feel the word snooping is very juvenile and there should be no need to snoop on an FI.

    Using or looking at device is a normal thing to do in our world.

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