Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
Just wondering how many women out there are bringing in a larger income than their spouse. I make more money than my significant other and will likely continue to do so until he goes back to school. Has this had an impact on your relationship? Have you found yourself having a hard time knowing that you may need to contribute more for expenses because of this difference? I am curious because I have had my ups and downs with this at times. Sometimes wondering what it would like to be in the other position.
Post # 3
my FI use to make more than me by a few K but then because of the econ, his company had cut pay instead of laying off people, so now he makes a few K less than me.
But then again if you have to put into account that I’m a lot younger than him… so when I’m his age I’ll probably making a lot more than he makes at his age now.
I don’t really mind making more than him. Because we are in it together. ^_^ My money will be his money and his money will be my money.
You’re a team now and you are spending the money to benfit both of you. 😉
Post # 4
I did make more than him at one point but he recently just got a promotion so now he is on the way up! makes me so proud.
Once he gets to a certain salary ‘braket’ and we are stable enough to be fine with one income we will think about children and me being a stay at home mom. Thats what I want most, to stay at home and be with my child.
buuut…that said, it won’t be happening for at leats 5-6 or more years! 🙂
Post # 5
My fiance makes more than me right now but it will probably even out in the future as I grow my business.
Post # 6
While my husband makes slightly more than me right now, we’ve been in the situation before where I was making more. In fact, for a 3 month stretch of time last year, I was actually completely financially supporting both of us while he looked for a new job. Obviously every couple is different, and everyone has to work out the situation to suit his/her needs, but it seems like a lot of relationship/marriage counselors out there recommend that the male in the relationship make enough to cover the household expenses. It seems that, to feel comfortable with the relationship, many women need to feel like their husbands can support both of them comfortably. Whether this actually happens or not is another story, but the books I’ve read and lectures I’ve heard usually suggest that the man’s salary should be able to support the household while the woman’s only goes to extra splurges and savings (even if the woman makes more).
I think it’s normal to feel both positive and negative while you’re going through this (hopefully temporary) time period. However, it might be a really great time for you guys to have a conversation about "what if’s". What if one person loses their job, becomes disabled, wants to stay home with the kids, retires early, etc… That might make you feel a little better if you and your Fi can come to an agreement now on what will and will not make you feel comfortable in the future.
Post # 7
Well, I was making more money than him until he got promoted to Captain. Now we make about the same, but if you factor in his military stipend additional thingies like BAC and the extra $500 he gets when we’re married, he ends up making more.
It doesn’t really bother either of us, though. We’re both engineers right now but I’m looking to be a manager, which we both know will pay better than his engineering job. It just means we can put away more for our kids’ college funds and be able to go on vacation.
I think if we had a huge difference in how much we’d make it’d be one thing, but we’ll probably stay within 5K of each other for another 10 years.
His cousin, however, only makes about half of what her FI makes. He’s also an engineer. They seem to work it out all ok–they have a house and dogs and everything, but I know that I would feel bad knowing I couldn’t ‘contribute’ as much. And she is definitely more frugal than us and does not shop at some of the pricier boutiques that I do, but I’ve never seen them quarrel over money. I think if you don’t hold it over the other person’s head you’re fine. good topic, i’m curious to see what people say in case one of us gives up our well-paying jobs for "hobbies" that make significantly less.
Post # 8
I make more than my FI, by a lot, like 25%. It’s never been an issue except for when his guy friends brag about how much they make. We both have jobs we enjoy and can afford the necessities, so it doesn’t matter where the money comes from.
Post # 9
I make significantly more than my FI…more than double. We pay our joint expenses on a proportionate basis, which means that I pay 2/3 of it. I wish I could say that it’s not a big deal and that it’s all our shared money. But to be honest, it worries and bothers me, especially because we plan on having children and I don’t want the pressure of having to go back to work immediately.
Post # 10
I make more than twice what my fiance does, and a couple of years from now I’ll make more than 10x what he does. Honestly it has never been an issue. We could eventually get by on my income alone but he isn’t comfortable "not contributing", I don’t mind whether he works or not. The great thing is that it gives him the freedom to really find a fulfilling job that he enjoys. We really have no division of our incomes either, it just all goes into our accounts and we pay the bills we need to pay and try to save some of the rest. We are lucky though, both very laid back and neither very spendy.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
paskiaq I understand what you mean…I sometimes think of that too. Another thing is that I often feel guilty asking for an equal contribution because I then feel that once I take what would cover 50% of the expenses it would leave him with little of his own spending freedom. I sometimes worry that it can make him feel like less of a man. One thing that I found to be helpful was having him pay for specific lower expenses and my paying for some of the larger ones…this way he is paying more bills and I pay fewer.(guess psychologically it makes a little difference, though cost wise I am spending more)
Post # 12
This wasn’t an option but my Fiance makes more than me, but I work too!
Post # 13
I make quite a bit more right now. He’s been in grad school for mechanical engineering and I have been working for a software company. We both hope to put our degrees to use when we move, and my degree is in social work so… things will be drastically changing when we move!
Post # 14
My FH is a mechanical engineer working for the government….while I am a publicist working for a book publishing company sooooooo he makes a significant amount more than I do lol
Post # 15
I make more than he does. But, I have a car payment and student loan payments, while he doesn’t. Basically, we are both broke so we can’t let who makes more bother us!
Post # 16
I make more than my fiance and it isn’t an issue for him or me. I also have my MBA, though.