Do You "Monitor" Your Kids Cell Phones?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am not a parent, but I think I would absolutely be monitoring my 13 year old’s phone. I would probably monitor it until they are 15/16 – at that age I think they deserve some kind of privacy.

 

Post # 4
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

When I have kids I plan to monitor their cell phones until they’re in their mid teens. I do think that kids should get some level of privacy, so when they’re 15ish I don’t think I’d continue that anymore. I know I would have been really peeved if my mom had been reading my texts when I was 15, even though I wasn’t doing/saying anything scandalous.

I know a woman that gets a print out of all her kids’ texts every month. Even the 18-year-old’s! I think that is way too invasive. She says that as long as she’s paying for the bill she will read them. I think if your kids want to do/say something, they will. They will just find another way to do it without you knowing.

Post # 5
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

FI and I were actually just talking about this the other day. We don’t plan on getting our kids a cell phone until they’re atleast 16-17 much like how it went for FI and I. Although that may change with house phones currently going out of style. As for monitoring… Not sure, I may keep an eye on the amount of texting and calling and at what times. but not sure if I’ll actually go thorugh the phone.

Post # 6
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

You betcha. We occasionally go through Teen LK’s phone. We also monitor the # of texts he is sending, what #s he is texting and/or talking to, his data use, etc. It is our job as his parents to stay in the loop.

Post # 7
Member
2537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I say yes, I would monitor.  It’s not like a journal/diary that is private to others, so yes, I would monitor.

Post # 10
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@adoc86:  I know a mom like that too – wow, it is way too much. I think the more you invade their privacy and show you don’t trust them, the more they will drift away and try to hide things from you. If that was your mom, would you really feel comfortable coming to her for advice or confiding something to her? Probably not.

Post # 11
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2007

I would definitely monitor my child’s cell phone, especially if I was paying for it. My parents monitored mine until I got a job and began paying my own bill. They definitely trusted me, but they also wanted to protect me. I’m glad they kept up with texts/calls while I was younger.

 

Post # 12
Member
1867 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My daughter doesn’t have a cell phone (and won’t until she gets a driver’s license – I hate when people give their young kids phones). If she had one, we would absolutely monitor, and when she is old enough to have one, we will be having very clear conversations about appropriate usage – if we suspect it’s being used inappropriately, we’ll take it away.

I’m not sure we would monitor the cell phone of an older teen; I think it would depend a lot on our relationship and levels of communication. For children under 13, I would certainly be looking. Kids that age really don’t process what’s a good idea vs. what’s a bad idea very well, and can get themselves into really crappy situations by sending inappropriate pictures and texts.

Post # 13
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@badabing88:  We had to get over the texting a girl thing. DS has been dating the same young lady since he was 12, so we accepted long ago that them texting was just a part of life. We are friends with her parents, we stay informed with what is going on in her life, and we monitor DS’s conversations to make sure that the two of them are not doing things or making plans to do things that they are not mature enough for. Parenting teens (and even pre-teens) can be quite a challenge as you walk the fine line between being involved and being a helicopter parent.

Post # 14
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Sea_Ashley:  Exactly. They will still do everything that kids do, they will just go out of their way to hide it. They will be sneaky and not come to you when they need help/advice. She is a crazy helicopter mother. Her oldest son told me that he hides his iPod because he doesn’t want her snooping. That is ridiculous. He’s 18! She plans to monitor their texting until they are out of college. That is insane!!!

She has already told her sons that drinking is bad, at any age. That they are forbidden from drinking whether they are 16, 35 or 50. Period. So when they do (because undoubtedly they will) what are the chances that they will call their parents if they are in trouble and need a ride? I think its more likely that they’d risk driving before allowing their mother to see that they drank. That is scary. I think rules are really important and I would say that my mom was really strict, but she was also realistic about things. I don’t think exerting that much control over your children really helps them in the long run. All of the kids that I know that had crazy parents like that ended up in more trouble in college because they couldn’t handle so much freedom so fast.

Post # 16
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You bet I will when the time comes for little boy to get a phone.  My best gf her daughters are teens she monitors phones to their social media. 

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