(Closed) Do you need to be in love to be married?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

People in arranged marriages stay together because they dont have a choice. Those cultures usually dont really give much option for divorce and remarrying. So they already have that mindset that they have to make it work, this makes them endure alot of things that most of us would get divorced over.

To answer the question I think you do need love to get married, but love on its own is not enough, you also need the right mind set and the ability to compromise, pick your battles and keep your problems to yourselves.

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think theoretically arranged marriages can work in the right environment. However, I think it’s a disaster to try it in some cases. My cousin knew a girl who was married off and moved several states away right after she graduated high school. Their marriage lasted about a year, which is actually pretty good considering how it started!

I think if neither partner has an ‘out’ they might end up in love or just liking each other, but it seems pretty silly to start out like thatin most cases.

Post # 6
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I personally feel you need to be in love to get married. Although I’m sure some get married hoping marriage will make things better, they’ll learn to love eachother, etc.

Post # 7
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

No, I don’t think love is a necessity for marriage.

Post # 8
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Anyone watch When Harry Met Sally?? Some couples have a song, me and my SO have a movie. This reminds me of when the asian couple is doing their interview and he talks about how he sneaked into his brides village to peek at her before the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I couldnt imagine marrying someone without being in love. However, things are done very differently in other cultures. We have friends who are Albanian. I dont know if arranged marriages are common in their culture but there are a few members of their family who were arranged. They seem to love eachother very much… now (however I can’t understand a damn word this guys wife says so she very well could be crying out for help with a smile on her face). 

Post # 10
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My best friend’s parents marriage was arranged and she says that they love and care for each other alot. She’s talked to her mom about this and her mom said that their love grew over time.

Post # 11
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@Miss Tattoo:I think people marry for various reasons. Love is not a must for everyone. I love my SO deeply but I am interested in marrying him because I like him as a person.  He cracks me up, I sincerely enjoy being around him. Compatibility and feasibility are important to me. Love comes and goes. Our divorce rate in America lets you know you can be in “love” today and hate his fucking guts in a year. Excuse my french, that was so unladylike of me:0) That was for you Miss Tatoo;0)

Post # 12
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do I? Yes. Does one? Not necessarily, depends on the person.

I had a friend in college who had an arranged marriage. His parents asked her parents about a wedding, her parents asked her what she thought about it. She went on three dates with him to decide, they got married and are quite happy. I’m absolutely sure they did not love each other after three dates, but they do now.

Post # 14
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Are they together because they made it work? Or are the still together because they feel like they have no other social option? There’s a big difference.

I’ve seen a couple marriages where the people aren’t in love. It isn’t pretty. It obviously isn’t a scientific sample size, but I am glad that it is not something I have to experience.

Post # 15
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

there is a woman sitting about 12ft outside my office door that had an arranged marriage, ive known her for almost 7yrs and i believe her marriage is now one of love – it may not have always been but they are happy, in love, support each other, share the same aspirations for their future and their child

i think you can have a successful marriage without passionate love but if it has respect and each person obtains a sense of companionship from it then i dont see why it cant be successful. 

 

Post # 16
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

I would think it would help.

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