Post # 1
I work as a consultant and have been traveling for work for the past two years. Usually, my schedule requires me to leave Sunday night or Monday morning, and then I return home Thursday evening. I definitely would not say that our situation is ideal, but my fiancé and I are both pretty used to the routine. He plays sports and hangs out with his guy friends the nights I am gone, and then we have quality “us time” once I get back into town. I’m just wondering if there are other couples in similar situations.
How do you handle your time apart from one another, and will you keep traveling once you are married? I’ve been getting a little flack from certain family members for not looking for another job. They think I should stop traveling once my fiancé and I tie the knot, but professionally, now is not the right time for me to do that. My fiancé understands and is 100% supportive of my career, but it’s difficult to ignore the voices telling me what a bad idea it is to keep my travel schedule during our first year of marriage. As our wedding date gets closer, I’m feeling more and more like our relationship is under a microscope!! What do you think? Am I really a terrible bride-to-be??
Post # 3
I don’t think you should change your job just because people are saying you should! If ya’ll are legitimately happy with the situation, it’s your call. I know a lot of people who find it easier to have time apart. With my FH’s old job, he wasn’t out of town, but he worked 12 hour overnight shifts on the weekends, so I pretty much didn’t see him Sat, Sun, or Mon, and he was always exhausted Tues night, so that didn’t really count either. It never put a strain on our relationship, except when *I* got stressed because I wasn’t getting ANY alone time the other nights. If ya’ll are okay with concentrating all the alone-time and together-time into chunks, instead of spreading it out, why not?
Are you living together now? If not, do you think that will change how you feel about the situation? I’d say, and this is just my opinion, keep the job for a few months after the wedding. See how you feel about it then. If it’s causing stress, maybe you’ll have to change jobs. But if not, then other people’s opinions do not matter.
Post # 4
I know the drill too. My fiance works out of town every week; leaves monday doesn’t come back until friday (if I am lucky). We have a day and a half together, two days tops. It is difficult to plan a wedding with him out of town.
However, if you and your fiance are happy, then that is all that matters. I wish you and your fiance the best of luck and congrats!
Post # 5
With my job (before the lay-off lol) I had to travel a lot & with my company it was usually a pretty great destination so I was always sad that there I was somewhere fab without my man. We always made a point to connect every day when I was away, I would send him a text in the morning when I knew he was on his way to work & then he would call on his way home & leave me a sweet v-mail, then we would talk each night to connect & say g’nite. I always brought him back a funny little gift from wherever I was & drove home as fast as I could from the airport. 🙂
Post # 6
When we first started dating I had a very similar schedule to what you described above (I’ve had that schedule for almost 8 years now). So we learned early how to work with and around my schedule. We’re fine with it, and actually enjoy having time to spend with our friends independently (I have friends in the majority of the places I travel to). However, recently due to the economy my travel has scaled back to 2 weeks a month and we are having a harder time getting into a routine that included the other during the week (and I personally have been a bit out of sorts during the weeks I’m home). It’s been the hardest transition of our relationship!
I’d say wait for a few months after the wedding to even consider a job change, however if you do….make sure the job change is for you guys as a couple and NOT because you felt peer pressure from family & friends. Sit down and talk through all the pros & cons of it, and go from there. It really does make it easier if you are both on the same page. We realized after a long talk what would work best for us, and despite what anyone suggests that is the path we’ll take. In the meantime if you need a response to the well meaning folks you can always use "now isn’t a good time to consider a job change with the current economic conditions"….because really it is the truth and still sounds nicer than "my business, is none of yours!". 😉