Do you pay for the bands dinner?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: To feed them, or not to feed them!
    Feed them! : (22 votes)
    96 %
    They will organise their own meals : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    3889 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Your caterer likely has a “vendor meal” offering. 

    Post # 4
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MrsDinosaur:  I would feed them. even if you don’t want them to have a normal/same meal as the guests, you should still feed them. I’m feeding my 4 vendors: DJ, MC, Videographer, Photographer 

    Post # 5
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @MrsDinosaur:  Our band is arriving at 5.30 and finishing around 11. We’re giving them the option of either getting something from the buffet (they’re friends of ours so will most likely do this and mingle), or, we can provide a simple meal at around $20 a head in a separate room.

    We’re also feeding our photographer; they’ll be able to order off the bar menu while we’re eating during the day, and then they can just help themselves at the buffet in the evening.

    Post # 6
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Either feed them of be okay with them taking an hour break to go get dinner. I’d feed them and feed them well. Everyone is in a better mood and more likely to give good service if they’re in a good mood. And nothing ruines a good mood like being hungry.

    Post # 8
    6171 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    my contract says i need to feed them.

    however, i can supply them a vendor meal from the hotel which is cheaper than the guests meal.

    Post # 9
    1353 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Absolutely do feed them.

    Although they may start playing at say 5.30 they will usually get there an hour or two to set up and tune in & it takes a lot of energy to keep up the pace they do! (learnt this from the drummer in the band that we had who was also our groomsman! the poor guy was absolutley spent for a few days after our wedding!)

    Post # 10
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MrsDinosaur:  Yep, we’re paying half price for them at the wedding. Which is convenient since there’s only three of them!

    Post # 11
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    You might want to check your contract – so far all of my outside vendors (photographer, band, coordinator) have in their contract that they get a meal…

    Post # 12
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    The traditional rule of etiquette is YES you will provide meals for your Musicians (be that a Band or a DJ).  Talk to your Caterer to see what they normally do in these situations… some will provide the same meal as you are contracting for for your Guests, others will have a “Vendor” meal available (usually at a lesser cost).

    Your Vendors are not Guests, so you are not expected to provide any FREE alcohol to them, nor are you meant to seat them with your Wedding Guests.

    Some Venues will offer “other seating” arrangements… sometimes elsewhere in the Venue, while others will just designate a table set up & decorated similarly to those which your Guests will be seated at elsewhere in the room (at the back, off to the side, etc)

    Vendors who are usually fed include:  Musicians, Photographer, Videographer, and any other Professionals you may have hired (such as a Wedding Planner or DO-Coordinator), who are working thru the Reception.

    And on this same note… IF your Wedding Officiant (Minister, Pastor, Priest) is someone you know well / have an established relationship with (or one of the Parents your side or his does) then it is proper etiquette to invite them and their SO (if they have one) to the Wedding Reception as a Guest (so they receive a regular Invitation).  If they choose to attend, they are usually seated at the Parents’ Table.  Often tho they will decline, or come and stay just for the meal.  It is also proper etiquette to inquire of them ahead of time to see if they might be willing to say Grace before the meal.

    Hope this helps,


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