Post # 1
I just had a quick question. I have the understanding that gifts aren’t necessary at an engagement party so I only brought a nice card to one that I recently attended. I felt a little weird about only bringing a card once I saw that many of the guests brought huge gifts! Of course I don’t want to be seen as a cheap-o or an etiquette offender! I honestly just didn’t think an engagement party was a huge gift party, especially when there are so many other parties that shower the bride/couple with gifts leading up to the wedding. I have only been to two of these parties and mine was more of a family trip so I can’t really make a judgement call based on experience. I know what traditional etiquette says about this topic, but I’m interested in what is customary.
What do you typically do when you attend an engagement party? Did you receive many gifts if you chose to have an engagement party? Was anyone expecting gifts and disappointed? Please share!
Post # 2
In my circle, engagement parties are NOT for gifts. We recieved a few cards at ours (obviously without money, just really lovely cards) but typically, engagement parties are for friends and family coming together to meet and mingle before the wedding.
Expecting gifts at an engagement party seems kind of grabby to be honest. There’s plenty of gift giving opportunities tied to a wedding. You were in the right and you shouldn’t feel bad!
The host of my engagement party did tell me a few people called her and asked if it was a gift giving occasion, so I’m sure some people are just unclear or confused sometimes, or they bring a gift because they’re worried everyone else will. My host told them absolutely not to bring a gift. If someone felt compelled to bring a gift, then fine.
Post # 3
im not bringing gift to engangement.
i think it’s a must to bring a gift 🙂 ussualy i just bring a card
Post # 4
I’ve only been to one engagement party but we brought a nice bottle of wine and a card. Most of the other guests brought cards, food, or wine. I know that we didn’t need to bring anything, but I always feel odd if I visit someone’s house for a party without bringing something to contribute. Some of the bride and groom’s immediate family gave bigger gifts (cash, serving set to use in the wedding, toasting flutes, etc.) and the couple seemed pretty surprised about it.
Post # 5
I voted “no” but there are exceptions to the “rule” for me. If its close family (brother, sister, etc.) than I may buy something or give a giftcards. We had a small engagment party and recived candles, cards, frames, giftcards, and DH’s brothers and wives did get a pretty big gift but like I said there are exceptions to the “rule” in my opinion.
Post # 6
bleusteel: If the party had been at their home, I definitely would’ve brought a hostess gift. I never go to anyone’s home without a bottle of wine or something.
CaroBee: You made me feel so much better. I honestly felt a little embarrassed!
Post # 7
Where I am they are a gift giving occassion. So as a guest I would personally never show up empty handed.
Post # 8
TheLadyA : I am attending an engagement party where I know the bride is hoping to “raise money” for her wedding. I didn’t want to be a debbie-downer and burst her bubble and point out that not everyone knows to bring a monetary gift to the party. She is also hosting her own e-party which is a big no-no. E-parties are usually thrown for the bride and groom not given by the bride and groom.
But this is pretty typical in my area where a couple will have a big e-party in hopes of making money off the party to help save for a wedding celebration.
Post # 9
j_jaye: So what exactly is considered empty-handed? No gift? No card? Having just a card? Ahhhhh the confusion!
Daizy914: OMG, that is wrong on so many levels lol
Post # 10
Well I’ve never been to an engagement party but I might take like a small gift. At my engagement party, me & my fiance didn’t expect any gifts, we just wanted everyone to get a chance to meet but his grandparents gave us some cash & I had a friend that gave us a box of ornaments for our first Christmas together (our engagement party was in December).
Post # 11
I’ve also never been to an engagement party, seems a little overkill to me. I wouldn’t bring a gift and I’d probably only go if it was just like a get together at a bar or something. There’s too many wedding related parties as it is.
Post # 12
ErinEllen: That’s such a sweet little gift!!!
MrsN14: I feel the same way. We celebrated with some friends at a bar so it would be relaxed and because it’s a faux pas to throw your own. My FMIL ended up planning a celebration anyway though.
Post # 13
It was! Oh & she also gave us a wreath she had made. It was so thoughtful & it didn’t cost much to make!!
Post # 14
I’ve never been to an engagement party, but I would probably bring a card and something small like a bottle of wine. I don’t consider them “mandatory” gift-giving events, though.
Post # 15
It depends on the type of engagement party. If it was more of a we’re at xyz bar, come celebrate and pay-your-own way, I don’t think I’d bring a gift. But if it was a hosted event (at a bar, restaurant, or someone’s house), I can’t imagine not bringing a gift. It’d probably spend about $50 – $100 depending on how close I was to the couple.