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Just curious: How many of you Bees plan on being a stay at home mom, and what is your reasoning? We were having a conversation about this the other day at work, and I'm interested to hear your thoughts. I'm not currently pregnant, but have thought about this issue for the future!
I used to think it was 'ideal'. Then I started working in a kindergarten setting and I noticed how well-adjusted and school-ready the children were who did NOT come from a stay-at-hom-Mom situation. Now I plan to happily send my children to preschool while I work.
Right now, my plan is to head back to work after we have children. I can take a year off and they will hold my spot, so that may be an option. I feel like I would get bored staying at home!
However, things may change when we reach that stage in our lives. I can't see me staying home full-time, though. If we could comfortably make it on his job, I might. FI wants me to stay at home. His mom did with him and his brother. We'll see!
No, but my FI has told me on several occasions that he plans on being a stay at home dad.
Yes; until they are atleast 3. Then maybe I'll go back to work full-time. I definitely will once they're in grade school. I'm hoping I can do seasonal tax work or part-time book-keeping.
I'm not sure yet...I think it will be financially feasible for us if DH continues in his current job, but I don't know if I WANT to stay home. I could see wanting to stay home for like the first year, but then I feel like it's so hard to get back into the job market.
If everything works out as planned, then I will be a stay-at-home mom until our children go off to preschool. Then I'd like to work part-time or as a teacher so that I can get home when the children get home.
I voted for "Not Sure Yet", but that's because I plan to stay home part-time so I wasn't sure how to vote. I hope to work 3 days per week and spend two full days at home.
I grew up with parents that both worked and I turned out fine! Personally, I don't think I could handle being home all the time. I know you have a kid to do stuff with but I'm not a big household maintainer so I wouldn't spend a lot of time on the home.
If we have children, I would like to be the one to be with them until they are in school. I don't have family to watch them. As far as my career goes, I plan get my MFA first, keep making art whether we have kids or not, and possible get a teaching job. So, I would be a stay-at-home mom sort of, but I could never stop doing what I do. I have a friend who had kids just so she wouldn't have to work, and I could never do that because I am a motivated work-a-holic. I just hope to be good enough to make it working for myself.
Because of my career choice (and subsequent educational debt), being a stay-at-home mom will not be a viable option. I may choose to work part-time though when they are really little (it depends on my job situation though). Basically, I inadvertely made the decision when I chose my career... Honestly, I can't imagine staying at home though. I would not be happy without academic stimulation and contributing to society in a broader sense.
Well, kinda. We own our own software company which hopefully within the next year or so will be profitable enough for us both to quit our day jobs and do full time. Working for ourselves will allow us to be home with our future kid(s) or at the very least, work around their schedules.
My mom was a SAHM for the majority of my childhood. While I always thought it was annoying having her be class mom and stuff, looking back I think I would have much preferred that to having her work.
FI & i don't have children yet, but when we do we plan on me staying home with the children. i work as a nanny, so i guess you could say i make a living doing a lot of what SAHMs do- i love it! i may work a little. part time a couple days a week, just so i feel like i have a little of my own money, but i could bring a little one with me.
In Canada we get one year paid mat leave, so I will stay at home for the first year. There is an option in our mat leave benefits to work 5 hours a week without penalty on your mat leave, which I might do if I find I need more "grown up time". Then after the first year I will work part time (in my current position which is 1/2 time). I pick up extra shifts now, but might not once we have kids.
I picked "Not Sure Yet", because it seems like there are pros and cons of each situation. I have an engineering degree, but am not sure I am particularly career-driven. I don't want to waste my degree, but at the same time, I don't feel the need to be high-powered. I'll get a year off when we have our first baby, I think I'll know more then!!
@UpstateCait: I have say that kickass that you two own a software company!
@OP: In our situation, my fiance is hoping that he'll do well in the first 5-10 years of working that he'll transition to being able to work more from home. It's in the beginning he needs to be on the ball.
No...I've invested too much in my career (besides loving what I do) to stay at home. But we have awesome parents who are looking forward to spoiling grandchildren! :)
@MrsE.ToBe : I'm a nanny too and I've contemplated eventually bringing my kids to work with me a bit if possible. I've told DH that there is no way I could be a nanny to someone else's kids full time and not our own (and have our kids go to daycare) and not be resentful. I just couldn't do it. Plus I've worked at a day care (a high end one) and there's no way I'd ever send my kid to a place like that. Maybe someone else's house but some of the things I saw in daycare made me realize I wouldn't want that for our kids.
@beekiss2: Ha, thanks! It's no microsoft but maybe someday! =)
Yes. I don't really have a steady career, but my FI does. I will probably return to work part-time when the kiddies reach school age. This is what my mom did and I really appreciate that she was home after school for us.
maybe for a year or two. By the time we have kids (mid to late 30s) I think I will be more comfortable taking some time off if I've built my network well enough to increase my chances to picking up my career again. I wont be staying at home with kids over 5 years old though.
I am in my early twenties, so we aren't planning on having kids for a long time, but I would really like to stay home while the kids are young. I'm a teacher, so I wouldn't mind working once they are in school, but I had a mom who stayed home and it was really nice having her there as a kid. We built a lot of memories that I will never forget. So if we can afford it, I would like to stay home for a while with them.
I never thought I would do that because I always swore to my mom that I never would, but I probably will. :)
I really won't be able to stay home at the beginning, unless I want to wait a long time to have kids when my job is more flexible. That said, FI and I are lucky enough to each work in fields where we will essentially be paid for the amount of work we do, as opposed to being salaried and working full-time. My hope is that rather than one working and one staying home, we'd both eventually be able to work a bit less and still be stable. That said, maybe I'll take one look at my baby and decide to stay home. But I think I'm a bit too antsy for that.
@Treasure43: i think i had a similar reaction to teaching in a daycare. staying home is definitely not for everyone, but i can't think of anything that wold make me happier than raising a family. FI would also be happy to watch the children if i wanted to teach a few classes each month (i trained to teach bf'ing & childbirth ed courses), which would be grown up time & more $$.
@hilsy85: I agree with you about the improbability of taking a break from the workforce. I would love to stay at home while our babies are little, but with only two kids that can be a long break if you don't have them one right after the other, which I don't want to do.
Say I have our first child when I'm 26 and our second when I'm 30. Four years later, when the youngest is ready for preschool, I will be 34 and have been out of the workforce for almost TEN YEARS. Especially in my industry (online media) that would make it truly impossible for me to re-enter the workforce.
I've given this a lot of thought, and honestly I only have three options:
A) Be a working mom.
B) Be a stay-at-home mom and enter a completely different career path after the kids are in school.
C) Do some sort of part-time/work-from-home/consulting/freelance work while I'm staying home with the kids to stay relevant in my industry.
I am pretty equally divided among these three choices right now! Thankfully I'm only 23 and still have a few years before I have to really think about it. But its a tough choice!
I make more than my husband so it wouldn't be financially feasible for us. If we win the lottery though, definitely :)
Nope. If I got out of my field (engineering), there's no way I'd be able to break back in..it isn't a good field for that. Women have enough of a hard time here =]. Plus my company is paying for my masters...I can't walk away from that, not to mention once it's complete, i have a 2 year requirement with them. If I did, i'd have to go into another career. And start at the bottom. And take a huge pay cut. Very unappealing.
I don't think I could handle staying home all day, though. I need the brain stimulation and when I'm busy, I like it. Plus, my job is really flexible--i can work from home, be there for school functions, I'm home at 3:30, etc, so it's not like I'm completely tethered to my desk. I also don't want to be that financially dependent on DH (it's a lot of stress being the sole income)...and i want to pay for my kids' college and go on vacations together. Having a second income will allow us to have the lifestyle we want to provide for our children and I feel that I can raise my kids without being home from 8-5.
Nope. But we are contemplating DH staying home either part-time or full-time until our child is old enough to go to preschool. He works in sales so it should be pretty easy for him to either go part-time or leave the workforce for a couple of years and break back in.
With my career it wouldn't be too hard to leave the workforce and come back in a couple years but I am currently the bread winner so I really don't see that happening...
For the most part, but I do plan on keeping a smaller part time job (I'm hoping to go from 50+ hours per week down to 12-20 hours depending on work availability and scheduling factors). I can't see myself staying sane if I am home all of the time, plus I do like my work and I want to contribute at least some to our finances and give my husband some daddy time on his own.
Yep, the plan for me is to definitely stay home when we have little people. I love my job but I don't love it enough to work full time once I have kids!
If necessary I'd be prepared to work part time (up to 20 hours a week) but no way would I want to go back to my job full time (I work out of town so I'd have to leave home at 7 and wouldn't get home again till 6).
@Treasure43: I'm a nanny too and feel the same way!! I just dont see the point in me going to work to take care of someone else's kids if I had more own at home to take care of too. It seems like the cost would cancel out. Sure they could go to daycare maybe, but I know I wouldn't be able to afford a nanny as well. Plus even if we could, I'd feel guilty if she were paid less than I was being paid. So I'm hoping that when we have kids, I'll either be out of the nanny business (maybe a teacher. I'm in school for early childhood edu) or I'll be able to find a job that allows me to bring my child with (or watch their children in my home). I guess unless my MIL wanted to babysit all the time. I love being a nanny, but it just doesn't seem practical for someone who is a mother!
That being said, I'd love to be a SAHM for a little while. Maybe until the youngest turns 2.5 or something so he/she can start a daycare or preschool part time and I'd work part time. I wouldn't want to be 100% out of work for their whole lives, but at least to start off it would be nice. DH doesn't like the sahm bit too much. once he said he thinks I have too much to offer the world to just be a sahm but I don't know if that was bs to make me happy, or if that's just a cover up to some other reason he doesn't want me to stay home. If I could work from home with a flexible schedule, that would be the best of both worlds! Not sure that would be likely to happen though.
It depends on what DH and I are earning when the time comes... we agreed that whoever's earning more will keep working. But it was always my hope to stay at home with them, at least while they are babies. They're not babies for long :( Then I was planning on going back to work part time while they're in preschool and kindergarten, and perhaps full-time when they start grade school. But it's hard to say. I voted "not sure yet."
I don't see myself staying home. By the time we have kids, I'll be in a position to work a reduced schedule (4 days a week) and work partially from home. I feel that that is the best of both worlds (adult time, career growth, financial security, and flexibility to be home as often as I can).
I would LOVE to stay home until they're in school. In Ireland I'll get paid 75% for 6 months maternity leave and then unpaid for 16 weeks so I'm definitely taking that much time and we'll see how it goes and see how our finances pan out and decide from there. Since we're having twins I just can't see justifying leaving them with my in laws (SO much work!) or in daycare (SO much money!) so we'll just play it by ear...
I will have to go back to work, but I am hoping DH will be a stay at home dad for a while or at least a part time stay at home dad.
I didn't vote because my vote would be "partially".
When we have kids, I want to cut back to working part-time instead of full-time if we can afford it.
I want to be the one primarily raising my children, not a day care. But I also think I'd go stir-crazy if I didn't have a job outside the home.
My answer is other. Since my husband is unemployed at the moment, he's going to be a stay-at-home dad with the hopes that we can switch one day.
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