(Closed) Do you really consider your in-laws as "family"?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

This is a crappy situation for you. Your DH needs to step in and take charge. He should NOT be letting his family talk about you (or your family) this way.

Post # 4
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Agreed! We have similar family situations since I “stole my MIL’s baby” and she has never remotely attempted to act normal so I just smile when I have to and then leave as soon as I can.

Post # 5
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I’m sorry to hear this. That is rough when the inlaws dont play nice 🙁

 

I love my to be inlaws, so yes I consider them family. They seem to love me too. In fact when they need to get a hold of my Fiance they come find me because I’m easier to find. I just love his family. I cant wait to make it all official.

Post # 6
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What a crappy situation. That’s why I tried my best to weed out hard core mama’s boys in the dating process!

My in laws love me and I love them. I really do consider them family now!

Post # 7
Member
3145 posts
Sugar bee

That’s too bad!

My future in laws are great! It’s not the same type of relationship I have with my family, but I am grateful that I will have them. FI is the middle of three boys so there was no “She stole my baby” attitude. In fact, there was more of the “Take him! He’s yours now! Thank you so much! Don’t return him!” attitude. They’re wonderful people.

Post # 10
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I really like my FIL’s. They are pretty great! I like them, and they like me, so everything works out. So glad I’m not in one of those horrible in-law situations.

Post # 11
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Actually, I do feel like their family.. Sucks that you feel that way about your FILs :[ 

Me and one of my FSILs argue like real sisters lol.. My other FSIL gives me her outfits if I say I like it lol.. and my other FSIL asks me for advice (she’s the youngest of the three)…. As for my FMIL, I love her. She’s super sweet. I sometimes feel that perhaps she secretly resents me cause Im taking away her only son and first born lol.. But we’ve never had any issues. 
The FIRST time I REALLY felt like family was during one of my FSIL’s college graduation (last month), and I got called into the family pic.. They called my name, and I was like “Oh, I already took the picture guys!” and they were like “Noooo! We’re telling you to GET IN the picture, not take one!” lol.. That was followed by “you’re family now!”.. We’re still engaged, but we’ve been together for 6 years. 

Post # 12
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I know how you feel the same things have been happening to me.  No I don’t think of them as my family but I try to be respectful because they are his family. 

 

Post # 13
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Some of them.  But my one SIL has pretty much deteriorated my relationship with his family; not because I don’t like them but I cannot be around her.  And they’re the type of family that’s together a lot.  This chick threw a water bottle at me while she was drunk (the metal ones which was full) and then threatened to go get her gun.  Then proceeds to chum it up with my husband like no big deal, and he allows it.  In fact, I don’t think he sees anything wrong with it, which is unbelievable to me.  I partly think it’s because well, let’s look at her rap sheet… tried to stab my husband, tried to stab and pointed a gun at her husband (they’ve been to jail for domestic) and recently had an A&B charge against her for going to her husband’s sisters house and beating the crap out of her.  Some how the family just lets her get away with it.

I used to be tight with his other sister but then I realized… I will never win.  No matter how crazy this bitch is, they’ll always take her side because they love her and that’s their family.

Sorry for the long winded-ness.  But I totally get where you’re coming from, except I only see his parents if she’s not around now.  And that I don’t even like to do because they all gossip to each other, so I’m always afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Post # 14
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My FI’s family is HIS family. I think his dad is wonderful, but because of my FMIL we’re not close to them. In one way it’s sad, on the other hand – we’re starting a family together. That’s more important to me so I just accept the fact that I don’t have a conflict free relationship with his mum.

Post # 15
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@sasi — Hey, my fiance and I are taking a premarital class. While I can’t say that his family are doing quite the same thing, ever since fiance proposed his mom has been driving me nuts! He is the favourite… and he is the last of 4 boys to get married, and we are the first to have a traditional marriage which his parents greatly desired for all of their kids so I’m trying to be understanding, especially since they were so great before the proposal! That being said future Sister-in-laws (all married into the family) are a little bit of nightmares. Anyways we discussed this whole you marry his family, my understanding is this, Yah I’m going to try to make things work and practice patience, but what they really mean when they say you marry the family is that your fiance has grown up with them, thats what his character, personality and routines are based on. You will find out little differences between the way you were raised and thats because of his family, so you have to take that into consideration. You don’t always have to agree with them but yah, they are your family and they will be for as long as you are married!!! Best of luck!

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