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I LOVE MY DRESS!!!...but

Do you resent your friends in SDRs?

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
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    1.
    Hostess
    9,017 posts
    Bee Keeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Okay, I know no one wants to cop to being resentful of their friends... but sometimes it's hard to see others in relationships where they get to spend so much time together and maybe not appreciating it.

    I have a good friend who is in a similar situation to me, and she is constantly criticising other couples. I can't help but wonder if it's because she's jealous, since she's so far away from her SO.

    Do you find that you resent others who are in Short Distance Relationships (I like that, MrBee!), or even in Shorter-Than-You Distance Relationships?  Or are you more happy for them that they don't have to endure what you do?

     
    2.
    Member
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    91011Bride    September 10, 2011   Destination wedding

    I'm happy for them.  No resentment.  I actually sometimes feel sorry for them.  I tend to think them spending so much time together drives them nuts.  I am about an hour away from Mister; which is really not LDR in the traditional sense, but it is pretty far when your friends tend to see their SO daily or every other day because they live like 10 minutes from each other.  I appreciate the distance we have and don't desire to have what they have because it tends to be a little bit much for my tastes.  But you know, to each its own.  I just like my "me time" and so does Mister, so LDR works for us. 

     
    3.
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    bamababy    December 31, 2011   Nashville

    I do this sometimes.  Recently I heard a friend complaining that she only gets to see her husband "for dinner and bedtime."  I realize that's frustrating for her, but I would kill to see my sweetie at dinner every night!

     
    4.
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    kericita    May 12, 2012   Dallas, TX

    I wouldn't say resent, but I guess I could say I was a little jealous of a friend before.  We were both the same driving distance away from our boyfriends, but she only had classes on Tuesday/Thursday, and she also must have been rich because she drove home to visit him every weekend Thursday night-Tuesday morning with her huge SUV.  I guess I wasn't too jealous of her monthly gas bill though, haha.  Other than that, I try not to compare our relationship to anyone else's. 

     
    5.
    Bee
    8,645 posts
    Bee Keeper
    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    I'm not in an LDR anymore, but I just wanted to add my story:

    My cousin and I used to be roommates and we were both in an LDR, but about a year after we started living together, my FI moved to be in the same town as us, so she was still in an LDR and I wasn't. I can understand some jealousy and resentment, but she pretty much made us feel terrible every time we hung out. It was kind of miserable for both of us! 

     
    6.
    Member
    7,269 posts
    Bee Keeper
    tea       norcal

    oh, in my worst moods i am jealous of EVERYONE. friends, strangers i see on the street. even high school kids. sigh. i'm a mess. while i would to be able to see my boy without much coordination i don't begrudge anyone else. i do try really hard to not let my sadness come through when i'm hanging out with everyone when i'm really missing my boy. no one wants to be a buzz killington!

     
    7.
    Bee
    4,375 posts
    Honey bee
    mrbee    March 5, 2005   New York City, New York

    Long live the SDR!  Well, the acronym at least...

    I think in a lot of ways, LDRs are inherently exciting... you always have something to look forward to, and absence *does* make the heart grow fonder!!  This may be the rationalization talkin' though...

     
    8.
    Member
    967 posts
    Busy bee
    futuredrbraun    May 15, 2010  

    Haha I really like the SDR acronym :) I don't really resent my friends who get to be with their significant others...I am more happy for them and looking forward to the day that I can also be in a SDR!!!

     
    9.
    Member
    5,018 posts
    Bee Keeper
    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    I don't have any resentment towards my SDR friends! It was my choice to get into a long distance relationship.

    As y'all know: LDR's are only for the dedicated. It's tough to be in one, but very rewarding. Honestly, I don't think the majority of my SDR friends could handle the pressure and stress of an LDR.

    Some of them cry after being away from their SO's for a day or two. Thats probably the only time I get annoyed... its like "Welcome to a tiny little taste of my world". I try to be sympathetic, but not really. It's like "Aww... get a grip."

     
    10.
    Hostess
    16,308 posts
    Bee Keeper
    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I have to admit that I did have a little bit of resentment for people in SDR relationships but that might have been attributed to teenage high school angst!

     
    11.
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    RedTartan    December 2010   The beach

    No.

    They may be lucky enough to live with the ones they love, but my beloved is a much bigger catch. (I would never actually say that to them, of course!)

     
    12.
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    TexasGalah    January 24, 2011   Houston, TX/Queensland, Australia

    I have no problem with it. I'm happy, they're happy, that's good enough for me!

     

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