Do you see attending a wedding as an honour or an obligation?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Honour or obligation?
    Honour : (122 votes)
    71 %
    Obligation : (50 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5460 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didn’t vote because it depends on the situation.  Let’s say I have a family member and I don’t much care for this person, I might still be obligated to attend because it’s family.  However, after having paid for my own wedding, when I friend invites me I do see it as an honor because I know how expensive weddings are!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I liken it to a party – neither an honor nor obligation, just a few hours of fun and socializing. I don’t feel bad if I can’t/don’t want to go, as long as I RSVP accordingly.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @Hemnes:  I am not sure I would choose either word. I see weddings as a celebration of love with family and friends. I am not “honoured” to attend because it really doesn’t  have much to do with me – I am just there to witness someone else’s joy and I don’t see that as an honour.

    At the same time, it is not an “obligation” to attend a wedding of a close friend or family member – it is something I want to do for them but it is for them, not for myself. I am happy to share in their day and bring a gift, but I am definitely not into parties or “girls’ nights.”

    I think of weddings as any other social obligation, but I don’t mean obligation in a negative way. Perhaps responsibility would be a better word to describe my feelings. It is something I have to do, but I don’t mind having to do it…if that makes sense, lol.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7282 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Another vote for depends. I think when it comes for certain family members its like “Urgghh I don’t necessarily want to but I have to because of such and such”. Where as there are certain freinds where I see it as an honour. Most of the time though I would say honour if I have to pick. 

     

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    8910 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Definitely honor / fun occasion!  I love love, and I love catching up with friends and family, and I love having some drinks and going crazy on the dance floor… therefore I love weddings.

    Post # 10
    Member
    6506 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @DaneLady:  +1

    It really depends on the situation. I feel like it’s an obligation for some family members that I’m not close to (especially when there is travel involved). I don’t know that I consider it an honor though even when I do want to go. I guess I have never been excluded from a wedding that I thought I would be invited to so I don’t know how that feels. Perhaps if that ever happens or I’m invited to a smaller wedding then I would see it as an honor. Right now though it’s either an obligation that I’m not looking forward to or an event that I’m excited for!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    It’s totally situational. A family wedding from my dads side is always a little bit tough. Haha. But my friends, that’s a fun party! Anyhow, a wedding is never reallllyyyy an obligation unless you live so close to it that there’s no real excuse. I’m a plane ride away from most of my family, and sometimes, you just have to “regret”. I will regret if it is going to be a huge strain on me (financially or otherwise) and I’m not that close to the person. 

    Also, I don’t travel for bachelorettes or showers. I just don’t have the expendable income for that with other travel my FI and I have to do. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you or want to come to your wedding.

    Usually, I am SUPER excited for weddings though. I enjoy a good band, and good drinks, and good company. Any excuse to dress up, booze and dance!

     

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Hemnes:  I’m happy and Honoured to be invited to weddings.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Another here for situational. 

    We’re having a really small wedding, so I totally understand being honored to be invited to someone’s wedding, especially if they’re having a small wedding. Family…it depends on how close to the person I am. 

    However, there are cases where you’re obviously just invited to be a number and a gifter. FI’s brother’s wedding was like that–it wasn’t their money, so they invited EVERYONE. Distant cousins that they never saw, parents’ neighbors, etc. I remember seeing a picture of FMIL, her sisters, and then some random lady, who was apparently FMIL’s cousin. We’ve been together for five years and I’ve never met her nor heard of her. FMIL’s neighbor was there, and, while they’re good neighbors to one another, it seemed more of a gift-grabby invite than a sincere one (especially because, at the time, he had JUST moved in).

    Post # 15
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Honor!  We both live so far from our families that any reason to see them is welcome.  I’d attend someone’s wedding just for an excuse to see my parents, honestly. 

    If I didn’t feel enthusiastic about going to a wedding, I just wouldn’t go…everyone knows I’m not made of cash and free time.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2372 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    Every wedding I have been to so far has been an honor to be invited!

    I can definitely see where the situation might make me feel as though I was there for a gift grab, but my first instinct is honor 🙂

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