Post # 1
I see a lot of threads on WB related to engagement rings and concerns about how others view them. They are either concerned with how others view the size of their rings, and/or what their rings look like in relation to other’s rings in their social circles.
I’ve never considered an engagement ring to be a status symbol, at least not for myself or the people in my circles. Obviously not everyone feels this way.
So, as the title says, Do you see engagement rings as status symbols?
Post # 3
I think we all do, if subconsciously. I’ll find myself making an assumption about a person when I see their ring, but then I catch myself doing it and remind myself that I know nothing about this person 🙂
I feel my ring is large – it’s just under a carat at .91 or .92… and around here, that’s probably average-large. BUT I only have a couple married gf’s and only one has a ring that is my size, if not a little bigger. When ppl see it they’re like “omg, that’s huge!”… and meanwhile FI just started a new job and I went back to school so we’re super broke at the moment. So seeing my ring and assuming we have money is the furthest from the truth.
And yet when I see girls with big rings I assume they must have money, probably have a nice house… but then I remember my own sad story lol. I find I judge smaller rings less so though, as I know some people prefer smaller rings, or maybe chose to allocate their money toward something else etc etc
I try not to judge, but I think we all do it whether we want to or intend to or not
Post # 4
No, I don’t. My rings are a symbol of the promise my husband and I made to one another; it’s between me and him. I know that some people do view it as a status symbol, but I generally roll my eyes at those people because it just seems ridiculous to me to use something as beautiful and meaningful and personal as a lifelong commitment to another person as a way to assert yourself in society.
Post # 6
Ok reading my response, I’m not sure I answered your question correctly lol. I never thought about a ring as a status symbol or even how big or small I wanted mine to be until my FI’s brother proposed to his gf. I have always held some secret jealousy for my FSIL bc my MIL just loves her so much, she got engaged sooner, etc etc. Petty crap, and I keep it to myself lol. I guess I secretly hoped my ring would at least come close to comparing to hers, but I didn’t need it to be bigger or anything. I just wanted to be somewhat equal. It’s so stupid, but it’s what I felt.
Post # 7
Jewelry is one of many outward indicators of wealth along with clothes, grooming, language/dialect, cars, manners etc etc etc.
Everyone’s ring is a “status symbol” whether they like it or not!
Post # 8
I think a ring is a status symbol, but I don’t care.
Post # 9
Yes and no. Yes, because I think society conditions us to think that way. But no, because it just shows the commitment. I do however judge people my age 20ish who have been together like 3 months and are engaged and have a speck of a diamond…sad but true.
Post # 10
I don’t care about jewellery in general and am not a fan personally of big rings, so my answer would be either no or couldn’t care less (and thank you for writing ‘couldn’t’ instead of ‘could’!). I defintely think I’m (or actually more likely FI) ‘judged’ on not having an engagement ring. I chose not to have one as like I said, I don’t really care for rings that much and would rather spend the money on a holiday. Most people either just look dumbfounded when they ask where my ring is and I tell them this, or they think I ‘sold out too cheaply’. Or they tell FI he was cheap.
Post # 11
I dont see them as a status symbol because you never really know anyone’s situation or their finances. I work at IRS and I see ALL walks of life and you would be surprised by the rings some women have! I find the threads seeking validation from strangers because of size or it not being a diamond just sad.
Post # 12
Of course they’re a status symbol. You may not want it to be, and it may not have been the driving factor in the ring you and/or your fiancé chose. However, people take notice of the jewelry, clothing, and the way you carry yourself. It impacts the service you receive at restaurants, hotels, car dealerships, etc. We stopped in at a car dealership a few months ago, and we looked at an extremely expensive car. After the salesman had helped us for a while, he made a comment about his perception of our preferences based on the jewelry (rings, watches, necklaces, etc.) we were wearing that day. Like it or not, people judge you based on the jewelry on your left hand.
Post # 13
No, because I don’t run in circles where people judge me on what I’m wearing, and I’m not so shallow, immature, and materialistic as to think “OMG my ring isn’t big enough I look poor!”
It’s like judging someone for driving a Kia vs a Mercedes, or living in a mobile home instead of a mansion. The THINGS you have does NOT AND NEVER WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON.
Post # 14
@MrsBuesleBee: Agreed. It is a status symbol, just as your clothes, hair, shoes, etc. are.
And not just in relation to a ring’s size or type, but its very existence. I could go either way with marriage but look at the women dying to be married, who are envious of engaged women, and as a result, envious of their rings. Look at all the facebook engagement photos, where the ring is front-and-center – “I have a man, I have a ring.” The subtext – the hope – is that she has a Happily Ever After.
They are absolutely status symbols. It is a symbol I personally reject, but even rejecting it means I recognize its meaning and societal value.
Post # 15
Yes – it’s a status symbol. And I like it that way! (haha)
I have no problems with status symbols in general (cars, houses, nice clothes) – if you want to have fancy things, I say go for it. And if you can’t have fancy things, then you can’t. I don’t believe that anyone is out to truly HURT others with their wonderful items, so it should be fine.
Post # 16
I think so to a degree. However, I don’t think of mine as a status symbol for myself at all. In fact I didn’t realize how big of a deal engagement rings and diamond specs was until after we had picked a ring.
But I definitely think that there is a certain type of ring that you “need” to fit into a social circle. My fiance felt strongly that my ring be at least a certain carat size because he didn’t want my ring to be tiny in comparison to every other engagement ring in his family.
I work in marketing event planning and I would be lying if I said I don’t look at the average engagement ring sizes of the women attending event to gauge how wealthy a particular group is. It is a very effective way, and subtle/ not rude way to figure it out!