Post # 1
Sat down last night to finish addressing our invitations with my best friend who is also a BM…neither of us knew the answer to this question.
Our officiant is our pastor, of the church we go to as a family & while not a good friend of the family, we are very active in our church so we see him (and his wife alot). His wife is a colleague and also our soloist. With both FI and I being encores, we’ve had some pre-martial counseling with him (as required by our church-we are Methodist). Our pastor is also baptizing FI in September and he is joining our church that same day.
Which leads me to ask-do you send an invitation to your officiant?
Post # 4
yes, you’re supposed to invite you’re officiant. even though they’ll usually decline.
Post # 5
This is a GREAT question & I never even thought of this!! We don’t know our officiant (just hiring her for day of) and our ceremony & reception are at the same location.
I’m guessing we should invite her to stay for the reception?
Post # 6
Liztwinz and AnnieAAA, you have two different situations, since one officiant is part of a continuing relationship through the church, and the other is a “hired gun.”
Officially, Emily Post avers the officiant (and his wife) should be invited to the reception, but EP presumes the officiant is part of the continuing life of the couple and therefore, it’s the proper thing to do. Most of the affiliated clergy I know expect an invitation to the reception if they conduct the ceremony for a couple that belongs to their religious organization.
However, if you’re bringing on an unaffiliated clergyperson or officiant, not someone you know or expect to interact with again, I don’t believe you’re obligated to extend an invitation. I conduct weddings myself and I understand that many times budget, space, and personal comfort are issues, so I don’t expect to be invited to stay for dinner. However, sometimes couples will offer me a place at the table if we’ve developed a special rapport.
So, in the case of a for-hire officiant, I’d say it’s a matter of whether you think you’d enjoy his/her company at your celebration and whether your budget will accommodate it. And they may have other plans after your ceremony anyway!!
Hope that helps.