- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Yes, we did.
I think that they're a nice keepsake for those who can't make it (especially family)
I would still send an invite. A lot can happen between now and June and they might decide they can come afterall!
We are sending invites to those that we know can't attend because we want them to feel that the invitation to attend is open in case they change their minds. We also don't want to start a "she got invited, but I didn't get invited" problem.
My cousin's wife is expecting their second child the day of our wedding so obviously they won't be attending. I'm still planning on sending them an invite but still feel kind of wierd. I was considering putting a little note in theirs saying something along the lines of I understand you have big plans that weekend, congrats again or something like that.
This is difficult isn't it! We struggled with this but decided to send them anyway, to let those people know we wanted to include them. I don't think anyone reacted badly to that. We did have one couple who originally said they couldn't make it, who changed their minds, so I'm not sure what would have happened if we hadn't sent them an invite!
Depends on the people--if it were family, then absolutely. Friends, maybe not. I would probably tell them to let me know if their plans change but I would skip on the cost of sending them an invitation if I know they can't go. They won't want it as a keepsake so it'll just be a waste of time, paper and postage.
I sent an invite to everybody we intended to invite regardless of what they said verbally, except for one person, who'd moved recently and when I emailed him to ask for his address told me he wasn't coming anyway, and didn't give me the address!
We are sending invites to everyone on our guest list even though we know that some of them will not be able to attend. It just seems like the right thing to do.
We are sending invites to people even though they said they would probably not make it. FI has friends in the US and all over Canada that we are inviting, even though we know many probably won't come. We want them to know we thought of them and wanted to include them in our special day.
Yes, apparently my mom thinks everyone needs a courtesy invite. Ugh. I keep telling her if they are definately not able to come then why am I sending them $8 worth of stationary that they are just going to throw away?
i sent them out to everyone no mater what they said. i even have a mock seatting arrangement. if they say no i will just cross them off the list, if they say yes they are coming they get unhighlighted. everyone is highlighted at moment but seven couples/persons-- invites just went out last tuesday...
@fungd: I'll do this for family members. I know they can't come but I want to make them feel they're welcome in case there's a change of plans.
I had a few friends that I knew wouldn't be able to make it because they had told me before invites went out. When they said they couldn't make it, I just told them both that I'd still send an invite so they'd have a memento.
You are supposed to, but I am not going to. The invite will just get tossed, I highly doubt anyone except very immediate family keeps the invites..and we are spending quite a bit on out invites to not even have them serve their purpose.
Yes, you should send the invitations. If you do not, they might think they are NOT invited, and it could stir drama. If they are on your invitation list, they should receive an invitation. Presumably you have already set a budget, so sending invites to a few people who already said no isn't going to break the bank.
Also, what if their plans change? Does this mean they are not allowed to attend?
Yes! I'd even through a little note in or give them a call "hey, I know you said you couldn't make it, but in case your plans change, I wanted to let you know that you're always welcome!"
@JustMarried51912: Ugh. That's why I am just doing it for family. Friends don't care and you can call them personally and tell them to call you if plans change. Family cares and will be a pain so it's best to cough up the invite. At least you'll get a gift? I have no problem drumming entitled family for gifts but I certainly won't do it for friends.
I'm in a similar situation - sent out STD postcards to 3 couples that FMIL wanted to invite - we've never met them. She told us that they probably can't make it and not to send the actual invitation. Now that I'm sending out invitations I feel so guilty that I haven't personally heard from them if they can come or not - I'll probably send out the invitations just to make myself feel better since I know that is proper etiquette. I'd feel horrible if I met them a year from now and they say something like 'hey, when is your wedding?'.
FWIW, here is what Emily Post says on the subject:
Many people prefer not to send invitations to friends who cannot possibly attend, believing that it looks as if they are inviting them in order to receive a gift. These friends should receive a wedding announcement, which carries no obligation. There is a flip side. Some friends who live far away might be hurt if you do not send invitations, even if your intent was to spare them from feeling obliged to send a gift. The ultimate answer is to invite truly good friends—even if they live far away.
@lmoss78: STD = Invitation. They might get the impression that they are no longer invited to the wedding if an invitation is not sent.
Yes, send them an invitation. You could write a little note on there that says "I know you already mentioned that you can't come, but I wanted to let you know that you are being thought of!"
I sent everyone inviations, even though I knew at least 75% of my guestlist won't be able to make it to my destination wedding. It was out of respect, I even had some people tell me they better get one (people who I know can't travel at all due to passport issues, etc). Most people said they were super honored to be invited and didn't come at me saying "you know I can't go".....and I did not include registry info in my invitations, so there was no sugggestion there except there was a reference to my website that does have that.
@futuremrsfitz18 & @Kenic315: I think I will send them out an Invitation - I've never met these people but I still feel responsible for letting them know that they are still invited just in case their plans happen to change.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| aussiebee | 10 |
| MrsOliveBird | 9 |
| janetsnakehole | 8 |
| j_jaye | 5 |
| Rivendeler | 5 |
| simpleandchic | 4 |
| Scottish_lassie | 4 |
| Adalita | 4 |
| MabelleBliss | 3 |
| Sarahbear | 3 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| simpleandchic | 2 |
| MrsOliveBird | 1 |
 Myrnac13 |
1 |
A couple of people have already told us they can't attending the wedding because of various reasons. Do we send them a wedding invitation anyways? I don't want them to feel obligated to give us gifts. My fiance and I are trying to figure out how many to invitations to order and not sure if we should included them in that count?
How have other people handled this?