Post # 1
I’ve read a number of posts lately that have all had an element in common that suprised me… snooping on your SO. Some have mentioned doing it to make sure he’s not doing anything he shouldn’t and others have mentioned doing it to see if they can find evidence of any recent sparkly purchases on the horizon.
Personally I would never think to snoop on my husband. We are very open with each other and I wouldn’t want to go through his stuff. I’m sure he’d let me if I asked but I see no need to.
But, after seeing multiple posts I’m curious…. who’s a snooper? If you snoop, why do you do it?
Post # 3
Uh oh, pick as many from #1-4 and one of #6-7, but what are we supposed to do with number 5? 🙂
Post # 4
@MissBoPeep: Thank you! Good catch! I just edited the poll! As you might guess, I never was that good at math…. 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t out of my way snoop, but I guess it just happens/is curiosity? I.e, we sometimes swap computers and so we see each others’ emails, or if I have his phone on a run and he gets a text I’ll check it. We’re fairly open with each other, so none of this is hidden from each other and it’s not like, “you got an e-mail from so and so?!”
Post # 6
I don’t snoop. We both have access to each other’s email accounts, and if I’m looking for a specific email I’ll go into his and get it (invitations, pictures, etc.) Except for right now – he asked me not to go into his email because he’s planning a surprise for our January vacation and seeing his email would give it away!
Snooping usually sets yourself up to be hurt. I’ve learned that lesson from previous relationships so I don’t do it!
Post # 7
I dont snoop anymore, but I used to. I would read emails/facebook and text messages that had already been opened. Yes, it is bad, but I dont do it anymore and it wouldnt matter if I did! I dont care if my husband did either. The only time I would care is if I was planning a surprise party for him – other than that, nothing to hide!
Post # 8
If he gets a phone call (on his cell) and he’s like upstairs or outside I’ll check to see who it is (and if it’s like his mom or his best friend I’ll answer and be like “hold on, FH is fill in the blank“) and yell to him if I know he would want to answer it. That’s the extent of my snooping.
Post # 9
I don’t snoop but I’ll occasionally see emails or text messages, if I’m closer to his phone or he leaves himself logged into his email on my computer. Generally I’ll ask if he wants me to tell him what it is. I also read his facebook over his shoulder, but that’s more boredom than snooping. Actually looking at stuff behind his back kind of creeps me out.
Post # 10
I/we don’t snoop. If his phone goes off and its sitting next to me, I hand it to him without looking at it, and wouldn’t check it unless he asked me to. We often share one of the laptops because its newer and works best – I don’t check his e mail, I just go in, sign out and sign in as myself to check my mail.
I snooped e mail in the past in other relationships and it only led to more issues, it didn’t solve anything.
Post # 11
I never set out to snoop and I never have trust issues with him, but i guess i’ve looked at a couple things out of curiosity. The two things that come to mind are sometimes if his phone is sitting right next to me and he gets a text message i’ll look to see who it is from (but i’ve never read it). And one time he got up early and was downstairs on my computer (which was WEIRD) and then when he got in the shower and i got on my computer i looked at the history to see what he was doing (just bc i was curious why he was up early doing that. we are not morning people). But then i saw what it was and totally teased him for it so it wasn’t like i was hiding my snooping.
Post # 12
I don’t feel guilty, b/c he’s sitting right there. It’s not that I’m being serious with it…I’ll say “let me see what we have here…” I NEVER go into his email if it isn’t up.
Post # 13
Wow! Thanks for all the responses. Just to clarify… when I say snoop, I mean when he is not around & not telling him. I agree with many of the pp that it’s another story if he’s there, you look at who’s calling so you can tell him, etc, etc.
Post # 14
I’ve snooped!!! Not because I’m worried that there’s another girl or anything, just because I’m nosy!!! FI doesn’t email or text that much anyway, so it’s not very interesting. haha
Post # 15
When I date someone and it gets serious I do snoop a bit because there’s so many people out there who are good liars and I want to protect myself, so I don’t really feel guilty.
Now with my husband I guess I still snoop sometimes but it’s different. He knows that I look at his email occasionally (very rarely, more if i have a suspicion that he’s left out a few details about an upcomingn event) but it’s more snooping to figure out if his mom has emailed and she has said she’s coming to visit or has plans for us, which he always forgets to mention her whole detailed list of plans. Or that he’s invited people over for a party and again forgets to mention it until he knows people are coming.
Post # 16
Ok I picked text message and internet history. The text was an accident, but then I did snoop at a few more while I was there. The internet history happened after I found an engagement ring website open on his laptop, and I checked in to see if he had visited it again after that lol..
I do feel guilty but my snooping is not for lack of trust, it’s for ring curiosity lol.