Post # 1
How long before you started referring to things as OURS rather than as YOURS? FI and I have lived together for three years now. Before that time, I bought a macbook. It’s considered my laptop. Last year, he bought an iPad, it’s his iPad. That’s how I still see things.
But he is in the OUR camp, and corrects me when I call things mine vs ours. I won’t lie, I have slipped a time or two by saying my wedding. I know full and well it’s ours, but I usually say my when I’m referring/talking to someone I know and he doesn’t, if that makes sense?
How long did it take for you to change your mentality of everything belonging to each other??
Post # 3
We’ve lived together for about 3 years as well. It took a few months, but he did move in with me so I was much more use to saying “my apartment”. Honestly, though, there wasn’t much I referred to as mine before that since we’d been together for 2 1/2 years at that point and everything sort of meshed together by then.
Post # 4
my laptop is still my laptop, before or after marriage, since I’m its primary user. the bed is OUR bed because we both use it equally. his computer is still his computer, but it’s OUR apartment.
Post # 5
Depends on what we’re referring to. We know that most of the stuff in OUR house is both of ours, but sometimes we say ‘my’. We flip flop on stuff like vehicles – we’re not particularly possesive over them, but its just like, the jeep is my primary vehicle and the truck is his, so I sometimes say ‘my jeep’ or ‘your truck’. Now that I think about it though, we say ‘the’ a lot … like ‘we’ll take THE jeep today’ or ‘get your feet off THE couch’ or ‘wheres THE lap top?’, which I guess is kind of the same as saying our.
I too have slipped up and said ‘my’ wedding a time or two, typically in the beginning of the engagement, and he always corrected me. Now he does it sometimes, too. Haha. 🙂
Post # 6
Not everything is “ours” because..not everything is “ours.” Some things are his, some are mine. Marriage doesn’t make everything “ours.” If that’s the case then we’re getting OUR period and WE need to pick us up some more tampons.
Post # 7
It really depends on the object in question. We each have our own desktops and laptops. He has a tablet and I have a tablet. Everything is share and share alike but it’s still “mine”. Same with the cars. they are the same make and model (just different years) so we differenitate based on “your car” or “my car” (and I can’t drive a stick shift yet so his is pretty much his car right now). It’s OUR aptartment, bed, and other furniture. It’s MY kitchen though, end of story.
@claireos: I laughed SO HARD
Post # 8
It depends what it is. Sometimes I’ve slipped up and said “my bedroom” even though my husband and I didn’t even live together until after marriage. But also if I’m talking to someone I may say “my wedding” since to them it wouldn’t really always make sense to say “our wedding,” even though the day was obviously for both. We also have our own laptops that we had before we even met each other, so even though we share occasionally, we still maintain that one is mine and one is his. The only electronic we have that is fully shared is the iPad that I got as a gift before I met my husband. He uses it WAY more than I do, but I will sometimes say “my iPad” even to him. Sometimes I do that when I see that he isn’t taking care of it so well lol.
Post # 9
Oh, we’re both pretty independent and most things are mine or his, honestly. Sometimes I even call the dogs his and mine, since we both came into the relationship with one. The house is HIS house. I mean, it’s ours now, but I’ll always call it his.
Post # 10
We still say “my”… because technically those things are his or mine. I bought him a kindle for his use. I borrow it from time to time, but it’s his and keep and take care of. Same for his 3DS, his games, etc. I have things that are just mine (my phone, my laptop). That said, we do share everything.. so it’s not like I say, “Hey, that’s my laptop, you can’t ever use it!”
Most of the rest of the stuff in the house, though, is “ours”.
Post # 11
We’ve been married almost two years and living together 6 years or so and we still have stuff that is his or mine. My car, his car, his laptop, my computer, etc etc. It’s not like we won’t let the other person use those things…it’s just easier to refer to those things in that way.
What bothers me is DH doesn’t use ‘we’ a lot when referring to our actions. He’ll say to someone, “I painted all weekend” Meanwhile, I was right there with him painting just as much (if not more). That kind of stuff irks me where I have to correct him.
Post # 12
It depends on what we are referring to. We have our couches, bed, house, dog, etc.
But I have my laptop (and he has his). I have my e-reader. He has his iPhone.
Post # 13
Almost everything is ours…
But if something is broken, expensive or misbehaving, it becomes mine.
If something is awesome, amazing and generally coveted by all, it becomes his…
Post # 14
We’ve lived together for over 3 years, and we own a house together. We each have our own macbook, so I’d say mine and his. We have a car each, and they’re not “ours” mostly because his is standard and I can’t drive it, lol. It is a strange phenomenon, though, going from having your own things to having shared things. We mostly just laugh it off. Like when we moved I paid for our new snowblower, yet he is the only one who has ever used it. I still jokingly refer to it as “my snowblower.”
Post # 15
I still say MY for many things, because many things are MINE, not “ours”.
The laptop I bought, was mine before we got married, it’s still MINE, after. I don’t like how things are magically supposed to change because one gets married. I’m not magically held to this extra standard now being a “wife” n all… I’m not going to be doing things now that we’re “more committed” I don’t share my things just becasue I signed some papers… I did/ established all this BEFORE we got married.
Post # 16
@Nona99: Yes, this exactly!
Actually, he is in the “mine” camp. I am in the “ours” camp. But, as Nona pointed out, if it’s amazing and awesome it is totally his. For instance, when the kitchen sink was clogged last week it was “honey, your kitchen sink is clogged”, and when we got a new car it was “dude, check out my new car”.