Post # 1
DH and i dated for 7 years before we got married last year in may. All those years i never ,and his family, never said i love you… to me. but after we got married we started saying it to each other. his uncle mike tells me he loves me every time we talk on the phone. i say it to his parents too and visversa now. our niece is 4 and we tell her all the time. so i also started saying it to myBILs wife. who as some of you know, her and i have had a rocky past. but now are close once again. so it got me thinking not nessesarily how close are you with your husbands family but do you often say i love you?
I feel bad because my mother got remarried right after i met my DH and i have never told her husband that i love him. but honestly i dont really and saying that or writing it makes me feel guilty. i like the guy but my dad passed away the year before they were married. so it was very quick considering my mom and dad were married when he passed. anyways i just dont feel comfortable saying that to him…yet. but feel i should start because it would make him happy and my mom. i was never a big advocate of saying i love u unless you mean it anyways but if my mom loves him (they have been married for 7 years or soething now) then i love him. right? anyways kind of got off subject from my original question. thoughts?
Post # 2
i accidently added a poll without a poll. sorry.
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
We’re the same way. Been together for 7 years and as soon as we got married, his family started saying “I love you” to me. I think marriage just makes things different for people. My mom was a little different; she had told my husband that she loved him like a son when we were only engaged.
I think you should only say it if you mean it. I tell my stepmother that I love her because I do. I tell his family I love them because I do. That has more to do with it for me than legally marrying my husband.
Post # 4
My husband’s family and I said “I love you” to each other long before we got married. I even lived with his mom for a brief time in school due to roommate drama. We were together for 7 years when he proposed and 9 years when we got married.
As for your mom’s husband, don’t feel pressured to say it if you don’t mean it. Does he say it to you? And that’s why you feel guilty? They should understand that you don’t feel ready.
Post # 5
My mom has told SO she loves him, well its more like: “love you guys” on the way out the door… I’ve never even heard SO’s family say I love you to anyone other than to his young niece and nephew.
Not sure if it would change when we get married…
Post # 6
I’ve been with my fiance 2 years. I tell his mom, dad, step-mom, and grandma that I love them, and visaversa. I truly do. They are awesome people! We are pretty close to his family, and not so much mine, but it needs to be that way, and works great for us!
Post # 7
I love my own parents dearly but don’t tell them that often. It would feel strange to say it to my in in laws. Maybe it’s a British thing!
Post # 8
DH and I have been together 7.5 years and married for 2.5 of those. I’ve never been able to say it to either of my ILs. They have both told me they love me, but it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t say anything back lol. I’m very close with my MIL, but not enough to tell her I love her.
My mom hasn’t told my DH that she loves him directly, she usually says something like “love ya guys” when we’re leaving.
Post # 9
His family started saying it to me after we got engaged I believe, but it may have even been after we were dating for a couple years. I dont think anyone in my family has said it to him though, even though we are married.
Post # 10
My FFIL says “love you guys” whenever we leave, and has since six months into the relationship. I always felt like he just didn’t want to exclude me. My mom has considered my FI part of the family for awhile, dotes on him, and says she loves him to me, but I don’t think she’s every actually said it to him.
Post # 11
souza_2005: I’m very close with my MIL and she tells me she loves me before we hang up the phone or when leave…we are also close with DH’s aunt and uncle (they’re like his 2nd parents) so they tell me they love me too. DH is not as close with my family as I am with his…so my parents don’t say they love him or anything like that….but it could also be bc i’m a girl and he’s a guy. Who know lol
Post # 12
I say it if they say it first,so it’s not awkward. Maybe that’s weird. My family growing up,we always said love you after every phone call and when leaving the house,etc. so it’s not that. I don’t know lol
Post # 13
My FMIL started telling me about a year after FI and I started dating. Of course, I returned the same. they really are awesome people 🙂
Post # 14
Ryansgirl: it took me a while to feel confortable saying it to them. they def started it first. but his uncle mike i felt super comfortable saying it. hes such a sweetheart! my mom hasnt really said it right to him before either but i think its because she lives out of town so we dont see her all the time.
Post # 15
JerNCher: you know its funny you mentioned that. when his dad first said it i think it said it back and he was like. i didnt say it so you felt obligated, i said it because i ment it. lol hes kind of a weird o. but maybe he thought i didnt mean it.