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I know its none of their business but when someone asks you how much something wedding related costs, do you tell them?
My friend (who is not planning a wedding) asked how much the caterer was, I told her and my mom found out and kind of freaked. What do you say when someone asks a quesiton like that?
I think it's a bit rude to ask how much something cost when they are being treated at that party. IMO, it's a bit like being asked how much a birthday gift cost you. If they were considering hiring the same person/using the same venue, I would tell them, but if they were just curious for some reason I'd probably say I don't feel comfortable sharing that.
I would just say, "It's costing us enough!" and change the subject. If they keep pushing, just say you and your FI have decided not to share financial information with anyone.
Once at a work function, while we were wedding planning, I had some coworkers ask me how it was all going. One girl blurted out, "I think anyone who spends more than $5K is ridiculous and wasteful!" Needless to say, we were WAY over $5K. But I just smiled and said, "Yeah, weddings are expensive, and everyone has different ideas on costs."
I don't tell. When I am asked questions about how much something costs I usually deflect it somehow. Saying something along the lines of - - "I'm not exactly sure of the $ specifics per person, why are you looking for a caterer within a specific budget? Any great catere will work within your budget and if they're not able to they'll know others that are....."
EDIT - I have never been asked how much something has cost us. I made up the above which is how I would answer 
If they ask I usually tell them. I don't really care. Unless I don't like the person asking :)
My new response is "it really doesn't matter" and then I change the subject. I found out the hard way to do this when I told my grandmother how much and she blabbed it to everyone who would listen.
I think we may have in the beginning depending on who we were telling. We learned quickly to just keep our mouths shut.
Deff not telling anyone. I made the mistake of telling some people certain prices and the response immediately was along the lines of how could you spend that much on anything ever. But in their defense, none of those people have ever planned weddings before and will be probly spending what I am when it's their turn... ;-)
Other than my fiance' (because we are paying for it), no. I did tell my BM's what their dresses cost, but that's only because they offered to pay and I didn't want them to since they were only $20 each.
I did not tell ANYONE what the things cost. If someone asked I would just politely reply "oh it wasn't so bad" or "it was very expensive". The only person that I shared that info with was another friend who was planning a wedding and was comparing prices of vendors.
i've told some people because they've asked nicely and politely. typically i get asked from friends who might be getting married in the next few years and they are just trying to figure out what things cost.
if you're nice about it, and i know you won't judge me for how much we are spending, i'll tell you :)
I hate talking about money, and hadn't disclosed any numbers to anyone, but... a few weeks ago one of my bridesmaids asked me point blank "what is your budget?" I couldn't lie so I told her but asked her to keep that info to herself.
I definitely don't advertise it but when I'm put on the spot I cave!
I posted about this a while back. My boss/friend was planning her daughter's wedding at the same time I was planning mine, so would always ask what we were paying for everything. I'll tell if there's a reason somebody needs to know.
I hate telling people how much something is that I'm spending my money on. Don't know why, I just feel like my financial stuff is personal and not something anyone needs to know about. I really didn't have anyone ask me how much stuff was except for close family (meaning like my aunt). I didn't mind telling her but if my mom's friends asked or something that would be different. I did have my friend who is getting married want a break down of my wedding budget which I didn't mind doing either since it is helping her out a lot and we are close.
Hahaha hell no! I like my blood pressure where it is thanks!
I did it once. My bloomin' FSIL went on about photogs - how she knew one that was great, would do four hours for like 400 quid or something. Your woman takes terrible pics, haha.
So I got cross, and told her what a real photog costs (here - about 2k) then, what we were spending (1100), feelin proud of us for getting a great photog for good money.
Well. She was horrified. I couldn't get a word in edgeways for about ten mins while she told me what to do and not do with our money. I had smoke comin out my ears by the time I escaped.
FI's reaction? " Bring it up with her in front of me, and I'll put manners on her."
I am Soooooo tempted...
so that was the long answer. The first three words are the short answer, lol !!!
Oh my goodness, no way! I think it is so rude when people ask, and I just avoid or turn the attention on to them by asking a thoughtful question to change the subject.
To most people I say "it's well within (or under) or budget."
My parents and FI know all prices. Some friends know a few prices simply because they were there when I made purchases or they're planning their own weddings and I wanted to share some good deals!
I don't offer the information, but if it's relevant to a topic or I'm asked, I'm okay telling them!
I don't mind sharing the general cost of things with friends/family, but don't get into specifics. It just seems like an over-share (and a little rude on the asker's part). A friend's fiance wouldn't relent in asking about the cost of my dress so many times that I just gave up. She asked "hundred?" and I corrected her, "thousand". Which shut her down pretty quickly.
I definitely don't talk about this and would be very annoyed if someone asked. Sometimes my fiance talks too much about wedding costs in front of other people and it drives me up the wall. It's not anyone's business.
I voted yes, because I have told some people, like parents, sister etc. If close friends who may be getting engaged/married soon ask, I tell them because I don't mind them knowing and it's helping them out. If aquaintances ask just out of curiosity, I don't tell them.
None of my friends asked. However, I was willing to tell other people who were planning their own weddings.
No. I was raised that it's considered rude to discuss finances with anyone, even for everyday things. Only the one who is paying the bill needs to know how much something costs. Our families and friends generally go by the same logic so we haven't been asked nor volunteered the information to anyone.
Even so, price depends on where you are located so sharing the info online for example only works if you are posting on a local board since the prices will not apply to anyone else.
I *might* have told people (I really can't remember, but this could have happened) how much we paid for hair and makeup, and possibly for our DOC, just because those were super cheap compared to the rest of the budget and we got great deals. Oh, and my dress budget was pretty much obvious to anyone to whom I showed the online link to the dress (not the exact amount I paid, but clearly it was the same ballpark). Anything else - especially big-ticket items - no way. But, I can't believe anyone would ask; I do not think we had one person ask for how much we spent on anything. I was irritated when even a very close friend asked who was paying for the wedding. I told him, but chided him for being nosy. (He would have figured it out by the wording on the invitation anyway, of course).
I blushed about four shades of red the one time my husband blurted out our budget total in front of some people. Sure, back when we were in our early 20s all of my friends and I were open about sharing our salaries and rent payments etc, but we're getting a bit older now and these numbers are just too socially loaded. It's better not to know things like that about people.
I think it's kind of rude to ask, but I'd probably tell them because 1) I don't want to make them feel like they offended me if I say I'm not comfortable sharing and 2) if they really wanted to know they could probably find out anyway. Plus I'm a big fan of giving ppl the benefit of the doubt so I'd just assume they were asking so they could plan their own event or help a friend plan one, not just to be nosey.
My mom keeps asking, but I refuse to tell her. Why does it matter? She's not paying for it! ;)
I've told people certain price tags (like my dress costs, or alterations, etc) but I think only FI and I will know final total.... oh, and probably the hive :)
I tell my parents and my maid of honor, and generally people who are planning weddings of their own. There are three of us planning weddings at my office right now, and we all work in financial services and are into budgeting and planning and all that, so we've shared a lot of cost information. My MOH just planned her own wedding and told me how much a lot of it cost, so it's good to be able to discuss budget and value for the money with her.
Nope. None of their business.
One of my coworkers really pushed me on this and I responded with, "That's an inapproriate question and I'm not going to answer it." She hasn't asked since then :)
The only person (other than my brother who still has no clue what weddings can cost) who has asked is my BM who just got engaged and is trying to get ideas for making her budget. She doesn't ask exact amounts, just ballpark areas. I have no problem telling her.
Depends who it is. I am really not at all secretive about money so I'd probably err more on the side of just being honest, but it definitely depends on who is asking and why. My MOH and mom I tell everything to. My other BMs I'd prob tell anything if they were just curious. Or if it was relevant to a conversation. Someone I don't know well? Maybe not.
Only the things that are a great deal. I have told some people how much our venue will be, because we're getting a really great rate on it and I get excited over saving money.
For the most part, we didn't share with anybody, not even family. We paid for the vast majority of the wedding ourselves, so even family had no reason to know. There are certain things I was very open about (the dress and photographer for instance), but those are things I got great deals on.
I will tell people how much my day of wedding attire costs but not the rest of it.
I said yes but so far it's only been bridesmaids who have asked and I feel like they're close enough. Even so I've just told them some of the big numbers: overall budget, venue, etc. I'm not telling them how much their hair and makeup costs, although I do think I told them how much their dresses were.
I tell anyone who asks. I have a lot of friends who are currently planning weddings or who will be soon so I totally understand wanting to know!
But anyone else I tell also because I really don't care people knowing how much we spent or didnt spend.
I'm going WASP on this one and probably just stare increduously at anyone who asks and follow it with:
"...Oh darling, it's too nice a day to talk about money, don't you think? But tell me--did Preston win in that regatta? And I do so love your twinset! More Scotch?"
(Seriously, though--I made up my mind a long time ago that it's nobody's business besides mine, FI's and my parents how much anything costs. I mean, you don't go over to someone's house for dinner and ask them how much they paid for the steaks--and you don't have people over and then exclaim, "That's a $50 cut of filet mignon from Whole Foods you're not finishing over there, you know!")
I put yes, but it depends on who is asking. If it's another bride who is trying to get an idea of things, or a family member who is paying for the item (parents) then of course! If not...nope. The wedding is pretty hush hush.
The main issues we've had is with my fiance's family. His brother only spent maybe $800 on his wedding, rings and all, so they keep asking us about prices (our budget is around $7K and my mom is paying for most of it). The other day I showed them our menu and his dad looked at me and said "It's nice but isn't it too expensive?" and then stared at me like he was waiting for a price (which we had cut off before showing him for this reason 
). So I just said "It's fine and works within our budget". I know it'll come up on the wedding day too so I already told my fiance on the wedding day my strategy is to just walk away from anyone who asks about money or something that isn't anything happy or necessary. They said they'll pay for invitations and maybe a few of the accessories as they can. So in my mind, they don't need to know how much my mom is paying for things like food or how much my dress was, they just need to worry about what they specifically pay for (the same goes for everyone else). I always answer questions on here or for friends who are getting married who I know are honestly wanting to know prices.
I really didn't. It started off because there was so much animosity from my sister constantly comparing our weddings and the cost as much as she could, so I was just inclined to be totally mum about it. So when people asked me I automatically gave really vauge answers like "Way too much" or "We got a great deal because of the economy" and I never gave actual numbers. It isn't anyone's business and honestly the reason you have to actually contact a vendor to find out the price is because it changes all the time based on each specific client.
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