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Do you tell people how much you paid for wedding things?

posted 2 years ago in Money
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    SapphireSun    July 9, 2010   Vancouver, BC

    So, I have a coworker that I'm fairly close with, who's daughter is getting married around the same time I am, and she's fairly involved in planning (and paying for) the wedding .  Sometimes when we discuss our respective plans, she'll ask how much we paid for a photographer, or per plate for dinner, or if I find something I'll be like... I picked up such and such for super cheap with a coupon at Michaels, definitely check it out of "Andrea" is interested in having them.

    She's definitely invited to my wedding, so sometimes I feel that it might be a little awkward that she knows the price point on a few things, especially that are going to affect her like the food and drink, but at the same time I feel like we're all in this game together, so it's good to share info.  I definitely don't think there's any one-upping or anything going on, just comparison shopping.

    Are you guys willing to share the price of things if people ask?

     
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    jordynrose    October 16, 2010   Las Vegas, NV/Chandler, AZ

    If someone wants to know for their own planning purposes, then yes I will tell them.  I want to be as helpful as possible.  However, if people want to know just to know the cost of things I do not share.  I do not want people associating a price tag with my wedding.

     
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    LittleLynx    May 28, 2011   Canada

    In a situation like that, I have no qualms sharing info about prices. Sometimes my friend and I can help each other find a good deal, and we have fun talking about that stuff! I think if it was someone who wasn't planning a wedding, I would be more hesitant about sharing how much I've been spending. I don't think I could share prices from food and such at the reception, but if I am DIYing something I don't mind sharing... like my invites!

     
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    amariem25    October 2009  

    i generally shared costs with people who were planning.  no one else really asked me.

     
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    Miss Britt    June 25, 2010   Kalamazoo, MI

    I work with a girl that is planning a wedding a few months after mine and we are invited to each others.  We are pretty much full disclosure.  I think it's nice to have someone that even cares enough to be talking about that nitty gritty of wedding stuff with...since most people could care less...and I certainly don't blame them.

     
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    oyster    July 2010   Dallas

    I don't talk about money with anyone except my mom, who helps me plan, and FH, because it's his money too. And that's it! :)

    If it were something specific, like another bride asking about something, I'd talk about it with them. Other than that, I just have an aversion to talking about money with people, in general.

     

     
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    Anonymous      

    I know a LOT of people getting married. I don't mind telling them how much things were if it's things that don't generally affect them, like my dress was super cheap so I told them! I am not telling them how much food is, plates etc... thats just not really pertinent bc everyone has different food preferences, decor styles etc

     
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    Miss Topsiders    August 6, 2011   Virginia

    i don't mind telling specific amounts for things like dress/shoes/veil. but when people ask my total wedding budget i am like GTFO!

     
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    Newfie    July 21, 2012   Newfoundland, Canada

    For me if I buy something for my wedding for an awesome price I can't help but brag about it to everyone. But for vendor prices I can see how it can be akward at times.

     
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    Toffee    January 15, 2011   Hayden, Id

    I talk about it mostly on here and with people who care like FSIL. Other than that nobody really. FSIL is basically my wedding planner, so I definitely tell her because she gets excited when I find a good deal.

     
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    Vonnegurl    June 12, 2010  

    I think I've only talked about it with people who are planning and could benefit from the info or on this site. When I do talk about it with people who are planning, I try to stress how everyone prioritizes differently and that it was what was right for us. If you feel uncomfortable talking about it with your coworker, or anyone else, I definitely don't think you have an obligation!

     
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    contrarymary    October 17, 2009   Placentia, CA

    yes, i did this with a co-worker and my best friend who was getting married right after me. shared a lot of prices on things like my diy projects, per plate, all my vendors. my coworker even took floral design classes, jewelry making classes and calligraphy classes with me. but it was a little awkward sometimes because we compared our weddings so much with each other, it felt a little competitive and in the end the two other girls broke it off with their men while dh and i still had our big wedding... talk about awkward!

     
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    Sweet tooth    September 5, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    The only people that know how much we paid for things are our vendors and us.  People have often asked us about how much we paid for things but I usually give a vague answer.  If someone is interested in our venue I give them the email address of the location and let them know that they can request a quote.  We are very private when it comes to discussing money though.  

     
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    twalila    May 2010   Ohio

    In your situation I'd share, the same way I'd share prices here - we're all planning together and can usethe info for perspective.  In general, for wedding and non-wedding stuff, I tend to share when I find a super deal on something.  Like, there's a dress I wear for work that EVERYONE always compliments and asks about so I love saying I got it for <$20 at a Mom & Pop around the corner.  Some things though, my ring, catering etc i wouldn't feel comfortable telling people no matter what.  NO ONE knows how much my ring costs except FI, me (and only because while checking out the GIA cert, I saw the receipt in the paperwork) and our financial advisor (because he moved around the $$ in FI's various investment accts when he purchased it).

    They say money has no place in polite conversation, so really we shouldn't be talking about it at all.  But I think if you're both planning and using the info clearly for that purpose and not to show off,and you're close then it's fine.

     
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    knikolle    March 28, 2010  

    I made that mistake this morning... I was talking on the phone to a married girlfriend about wedding stress and how now (at 2 weeks out) I felt like pulling my hair out.  She was listening to me and offering suggestions and comfort, and then she asked me how much I was spending on everything.  I felt wierd that she asked me but I felt comfortable and I gave her a round about answer.  Mistake.  "Ohh... wow, that's a lot.. that's twice as much as I spent, bla bla bla."  Mind you that she was referring to her second wedding.  I wish I hadn't. 

    Lesson learned.

     
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    Miss Pinot Grigio    March 21, 2009   Indianapolis, IN

    If it were just someone being nosey and meddling about your wedding costs, I would say no.

    However, I would say in this situation, you are definitely ok to share that information - as long as you're comfortable with it, and it's going to be helpful to your coworker and her daughter. Especially if you're pretty sure that you're working with similar budgets.

     

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Yes I am! I've had LOTS of people ask about wedding costs b/c they are engaged/planning a wedding/etc. They're not doing it to be rude. You can definitely tell the difference. My friends and I have had full disclosure on costs for the most part. Especially those of us who are paying for it ourselves! Then it's just smart to share our money-saving tips.

     
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    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    I agree with jordynrose. For planning purposes I don't mind sharing.

    But I get quite uncomfortable when a coworker/close friend asks me. Because I feel like he will go back and talk to his wife about it and they will be judgmental of it. When they are the biggest spenders I know! And they had a quickie wedding for whatever reason -I don't think by choice- so I feel had they had a big wedding their bduget most likely would have skyrocketed to probably double mine in a city where the average wedding is half of NYCs.

    How do you say -nicely- I'm not comfortable telling you???

     
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    RoddyBride09    September 5, 2009   Bethlehem, PA

    I have a problem with sharing the cost of things in general especially if I got them at a steal. I know sometimes things should remain private but I also don't mind helping people out if they are interested in purchasing the same thing. I also felt very comfy with sharing the cost details of the wedding because I thought I did a great job.

     
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    said8me    October 31, 2010   Salem, MA (married in Vegas)

    If people ask, I will tell... and sometimes I volunteer information.  I dunno, talking about money is like talking about weather for me, but sometimes I do wonder if I should stuff a sock in it. ;)

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    Outside of this site, absolutely not. Not even to my sisters (or especially not my sisters) as they get jealous and compare prices.

    I think the only time I've admitted a price is when I was talkign invitations to my coworker who recommended my invitation company to me in the 1st place. I mean, he knows what i ordered and the prices are available online so I admitted to spending "around $2K"..

     
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    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    Nobody has asked me point blank about prices for things but if they did I probably wouldn't tell them. I feel like it's nobody's business what we're spending.

     
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    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    I don't mind sharing to people who are planning a wedding.  A co-worker is getting married in June, so we constantly talk about weddings, including pricing.  For instance, today I ordered my necklance/earrings, and we talked about what a good deal they were.

    For other people, I don't mind sharing, but don't really elaborate on the larger purchases - e-ring, dress, venue, etc. I don't mind sharing prices of vases, flowers, etc. though.

     
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    Dancy905    February 5, 2010  

    Like PP's I really only share with those people who are currently planning their wedding as well. We found an amazing florist who does great work and his prices just knocked me off my feet they were so low. So yeah, everyone planning any event how much our centerpieces cost per table & to go see this guy! LOL

    I can't imagine anyone blatantly coming out and straight up asking how much we're paying per person.

     

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