Post # 1
I have always had an easier time socializing with men because the way men tend to communicate is more similar to how I communicate. Women tend to have a more touchy-feely emotional way of communicating that I have a really difficult time relating to and participating in. I specifically remember in high school girls all writing intricately decorated notes of complements to their friends and exchanging them in ongoing discussions of “you are so amazing and beautiful and wonderful” and feeling so left out because I just couldn’t relate. (although, I think it is great to build your friends up like that)
Conversely my fiance has a much easier time communicating with women. Although I wouldn’t say it is because he has a more “female” (I know, such over generalizations lol)communication style himself. For him I think it is because he isn’t as into sports, beer, poker, golfing, etc. etc. in favor of more artistic interests. he has more superficially in common with women typically and therefore an easier time engaging in conversation.
Oddly enough though…. my best friend is a female, and his best friends are male. So go figure. hah
Post # 2
Men. I find most women to be petty and shallow.
Post # 3
Either. Just depends on the person, really. Most of my friends are female, though.
Post # 4
freshflowers: I was a tomboy growing up and had mostly guy friends, and continued this trend well into high school. Let’s just say that kind of behavior meant I rarely had girl friends becuase many girls were convinced that I could not just be friends with a dude without having any feelings for him. But I never liked boys like that. As I’ve gotten older, I have gotten a few girl friends here and there. However, I’m one of the people that just don’t realize that sometimes a guy does like me more than just a friend, perfect example, my husband. He hit on me for a month because I was too oblivious that he liked me like that. Oops.
Post # 5
I don’t tend to put up with catty behavior, so I tend to get along better with men. However, as a woman in a male-dominated field, I do occasionally find that man who feels threatened by a woman in the workplace, who usually likes to let me know that he doesn’t like me. Sucks to be him!
Post # 6
Both, but I get along especially well with women. Just from my experience working in a female-dominated field, women who never seem to get along with other women generally aren’t the most pleasant to be around.
Post # 7
freshflowers: I get along with both genders. I can talk to both men and women about a multitude of topics, and feel comfortable with both. I would say I have an even amount of friends who are both genders. I am easily able to be very girly and love cute stuff like puppies and manicures, but can bro it out at work (in a male dominated field).
I think it depends on the person more than the gender, as I know and am friends with many people of all backgrounds who like different things (know women who like sports and know guys who like art and shopping). Where and how you meet people/friends is a big influence as well.
Post # 8
I associate with whomever I choose, and am automatically suspicious of anyone who claims that they cannot get along with most members of either gender.
Post # 9
All my closest friends are female. Although, I do find that if it’s just a short interaction (at work, for example) I get on better with men. For some reason I just find them a bit more straightforward to deal with!
Post # 10
I get along with both, but men a little easier just because they tend to be less personable and it takes me a long time to warm up to someone before I talk about personal things and, in my experience, women seem to jump into those subjects a lot quicker. But in general I can make friends with basically anybody.
Post # 12
- Wedding: December 2014 - Maui
I have always felt like I generally get along better with males than females. Since childhood one of my biggest hobbies has been video games, so since most gamers are males I naturally related to them easier. I also think my communication style and way of thinking is just closer to the way most males think and communicate. I think I am more rational and straightforward while a lot of women are more emotional and don’t say things explicitly. I have tried to be friends with girls before and they have ended up talking about me behind my back or excluding me from the group without any explanation. A guy would never do this and I like that. However, my few best friends are females who also claim they don’t get along well with most females.
Post # 13
koiocha: While your personal experiences are certainly your experiences and cannot be invalidated or taken from you, and you do not have to associate with people you are uncomfortable with, I still think you have a duty to be careful in how you choose to make statements about big groups of people like “men” and “women.” Making generalizations that paint the category “women” with the shorthand “emotional,” helps perpetuate a culture that does not believe that fighting structural gender inequity is a priority. There is a long history of labelling women as “emotional” in order to exclude them from decision-making, as “emotional” is code for irrational, inconsistent, and incapable of self-governance.
Furthermore, there is a growing body of evidence that suggests that men may be at least as “emotional” as women but are conditioned to appear as if they do not have significant emotional needs due to our societal understanding of what a man ought to be (this is a growing literature, so no strong conclusions or absolutes should be drawn, but the fact that there are numerous studies trending toward this conclusion is worthy of note).
Post # 14
freshflowers: I get along with both and have close friends of both genders. It’s much more about personality than private parts and if someone says they cannot seem to get along with one gender, I become skeptical of them.
bread_n_brie: Yes, I have found this to be true through personal experience and other women have confided in me that they have too. “I don’t get along with women and all my good friends are men” is a red flag.
As a general rule, having a problem with a few people is fine, but if someone has a problem with a large number of people (such as a particular gender) then the problem, more likely than not, stems from that one individual.
The above is not to say that there cannot be outliers, but I think it’s a fair assessment of any situation in which an individual claims not to get along with a large number of people.
Post # 15
- Wedding: December 2014 - Maui
MarriedToMyWork: Yeah I agree with what you are saying. I wrote my reply quickly without really thinking about wording it carefully. I don’t necessarily think all women are emotional or that being emotional is an inherently female quality. I am just not emotional and don’t tend to get along well with emotional people, whether they are men or women. A lot of women I have known have been too emotional for me, that’s all I meant by it.