Do you think he is lying or being honest?

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

He’s lying. Call him out. Further, he claims to keep his status a certain way to prevent his ex from gloating? Even if that is the truth, it’s not a healthy way to live. Time lines are off. Listen to your gut. He tells you he’s been hurt by girls in the past…but what is their side of the story? Is he just saying that to gather sympathy from you because it is sure working! Ever notice he’s got an excuse for everything? Why would a maid bring her purse to a room she’s cleaning? She’s working! Wake up. You can avoid him, if you really wanted to. Find another hobby away from the video game, or go in under a different name and log onto a server with other players.

Post # 3
632 posts
Busy bee

He’s lying (about everything too, not just that last hotel thing). No doubt in my mind at all. I’ve dated pathological liars before and I know how they operate, this guy fits the bill. 

Post # 4
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Something shady is definitely going on. If I were you I probably wouldn’t date him at all, but if you really want to consider pursuing this, maybe try messaging his mom. Something like “Hi, so this might be weird, but I’ve been talking to your son for a bit and I’m thinking about moving to the area. But if I do that I don’t want to be ignored by the one person I really know! So basically,  I want to know, do you think he’d have time for me?” And maybe send her a friend request so she’s more likely to see it. Oh and you could also act like you want to buy him a present just because and want to know what he likes. You’re not explicitly outing him, but if he’s taken, she should be able to figure out if there’s something inappropriate going in, and you’re not really getting involved. 

Post # 7
3354 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Does not sound too good. You would be wise to not get too invested.

Post # 8
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Run away! I am sure you have MUCH better friends than him! That girl – was his girlfriend (current, not ex) and the bag – hers. I wouldn’t even want a friendship with this guy – think about it – he’s saying you are the one and he loves you… When his girlfriend finds these messages (and trust me, she will!) you’ll be the ‘other woman’ regardless of how innocent your feelings are towards him.

He’s a bad egg. None of what he is telling you adds up and you know this. Guys like him act the way they do because they can get away with it. Think of how you’d feel as his girlfriend if he’s speaking to other girls the way he speaks to you. I get that you like to game with him – but there is a whole world of people out there who are gamers. I feel like you do have feelings for him and that is why you are insisting on keeping a friendship (at least) with him. I had a friend like this – insert long messy story here – and now we aren’t friends because I realised if he actually cared for me and was a true friend he wouldn’t be stringing me along whilst he had a girlfriend. 

all the best! X 


Post # 10
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

CuriousBeetobe:  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING about this guy seems to pass the sniff test, and even ‘just friends’ like that you don’t need. From the very first; “Well, when I added him to Facebook it showed that he was in a relationship. I asked him why, and he said it was to keep his other ex-gf from gloating because she just got engaged. Okay, I could understand that” Uh, you could? Because that seems petulant, immature, and manipulative to me. Also, still living with an ex-girlfriend if they didn’t buy the house together = “I’ve not bothered to break up with her yet”.

Guys like that just tranistion from one to the next, always with a sob story about women mistreating them, always becoming the centre of the next one’s life before cutting ties with the last one. They’re like attention-leeches. And for the record, I don’t class a 27 year old who claims to still go see movies with his mother and going on trips with his father to have anything less than a golden life. 

I totally understand and relate to you enjoying the attention. Who wouldn’t? But he seems extremely shady, and that’s something your words were screaming to me before I even finished the first paragraph. Guys who are worth it don’t make you uncomfortable. Guys who are worth it, you don’t have to ‘keep putting off’. Setting your limits once is enough.

There is nothing about this dingbat that’s worth it. He sounds like the kind of guy who, after haranguing you into saying you trust him, will manipulate you into feeling bad if you ever bring up any of his lies as if it’s your fault. Save yourself an absolute ton of heartache and nip this in the bud while you only have 8 weeks invested, not years and a move. 

Don’t use the video game as an excuse. You can change your account, your avatar, or guild or whatever. If you stay around him because he’s tied to all the things you enjoy that he’s introduced you to too, well my spidey senses are tingling for an abusive partner. He giveth and he taketh away kind of thing. Don’t walk. Run. Listen to your gut. If not, well let’s just say the soundtrack of your life will be the chant of “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry” in the background.

Post # 11
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Bette_Noire:  agreed! And LOLLL @ calling him a dingbat.


Run girl, run. Guys like him make you second guess yourself, manipulate you, use you, and hurt you. R-U-N.

Post # 12
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

CuriousBeetobe:  He is lying through this teeth on this one. If it was his ‘sister’ he would have no reason to lie. I know guys who carry man bags, hell I know a guy who cross-dresses, he does not carry a purse. The girl in the background was a ‘maid’? I have never known a place to have the maid clean while the person is in the room let alone let the maid spend time gazing out the window.

You do not go to the movies with your mother and ex… Either he is super duper weird and any form of relationship would be a bad idea or he is lying and you get to be the other woman. Guy’s like him who use gaming to cheat on their SOs give gaming guys a bad name. Why would you even want to be friends with him? He is good fun to play with to me is not a reasonable reason, to me remaining “friends” with him would condone his behaviour. Guys like him (yes I nearly dated one) are bad news, they always claim to be broken up and they have always been hurt over and over again by women and they make you believe you are different, but you never are, to them you are another notch in a belt…

Post # 13
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

CuriousBeetobe:  if you have to ask, he’s lying.

Post # 14
4879 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It would be more difficult to count up the times this guy has told you the truth than keep track of his lies.  Geeez, even he can’t keep track of his own lies.

I’d let this one go.  There’s no good reason to have a liar in your life, even as a friend.

Post # 15
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

CuriousBeetobe:  The timelines dont add up because he is lying.Pure and simple. The ex is not an ex,she is his girlfriend. The purse and bag belong to this girlfriend and it was her in the mirror. This guy is not in love with you,nor his girlfriend,im sorry,he is a complete tosser!

”i kinda let the things that didnt add up go” This bit however is on you my love. You cannot just ”let go” of the things that dont add up,there is a REASON they dont add up and.If you choose to ignore these massive great big red flags its gonna come back to bite you on the ass honey

Give him a wide berth,you know,like the size of the world wide.He is not your friend as friends dont lie to you, so cut him off completely 

Your gut feeling may not be fully functioning right now,but mine is….run! 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  stronger-now1.
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