- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Ok Ladies, this might take long but here goes,
I love my FI sooo much and I try my best to make expenses on him as easy as possible, since im unemployed and he will be the one whose taking care of many financial needs for our wedding– him and my dad. Anywho. Where I come from, the parents of the bride have certain demands — its such an agrivating culture, (: Where they are like ok get this , get that, she has to have a diamond ring and big 21k Bracelet, You also have to pay half of the wedding and etc etc. This isnt just my parents doing it, its .. Everyone I know basically- ITs an Eastern tradition – many middleeastern, Paki and etc tradition, so its weird to the west but norm for the east? Hope I make sense. Anyway, For so long I have been trying to convince my FI to take it easy and I will help him as much as I can to have what he needs to have – I offered money, to pay half of his half or even all of his half for the wedding- And I also planned out on payign half of our bedroom set. He didnt like the idea at ALL- but hated it even more when I asked him to keep it between us — Because my parents will NOT understand and completely oppose what Im doing, So telling them is an ABSOLUTE NO- I dont want problems and I sure as heck dont want them telling me how I should be ashamed for undermining myself like that ( which I dont believe I am, but to them and their old fashioned views on marriages and ceremonies, it will be )- anywho. It upset me, and I spoke to him about it, I told him it would mean a lot to me if he allowed me to pitch in as I would feel like I pitched in for such a special event in our lives- and that I dont feel cmfortable for him paying all of that. We came to an agreement that I would pitch in a Little, but he will take care of the rest.
now with the diamond ring, I loveee accessories, and he knows this very well- So Jewels arent that big of a deal for me but I do need to purchase a diamond ring for the wedding, as my mom and dad are persisting on it.. ( whatever 🙁 ) hes totally ok with it, the ring i found was about 1,200 which is great for a 1ct – But I fell in love with a diff stone which is the Moissanite – and I came across lovely bands and settings with such pretty big stone ct’s and figured omg how amazingggg if he got me one of this instead–
Now If my parents found out that he got me a ” non diamond ” ring they would FLIP- and I mean FLIP- I know its none of thier business, but from where Im from its such a big deal. My FI is not from where Im from, hes an American as I am- but I was raised in the middle east for a few years, and my parents take thier culture to heart!! like no other. If I told my FI to get me one, but to also keep this a secret, do you think he would think im wrong? And that I have a tendancy to keep things away from my parents, which might seem fishy- or inappropiate? All I want is to help him out, and get a ring Id love- but my parents finding out would cause so much drama and tension.. I just dont know what to do. I guess my parents have much more of an impact on my thinking then I thought. To them a girl shouldnt help out with finances if shes not married to the guy already– A girl must get the best rings/ jewels- and play hard to get till she says I do, and if she doesnt, then the man wouldnt value her. I just dont want him thinking that one day I would that to him, hide things. I tell him everything, and im very honest- but do you think maybe I should get the diamon ring and forget about mentionign the moissanite?
I dont know, Im jus venting outloud, hoping someone ( nicely haha ) Can talk some sense into me.
Have you ever done anythiing of the sort before?