- 5 years ago
Okay ladies. I’ve been reading the boards for the past week and a half to keep my mind from spinning, but it continues to spin. Hoping that maybe posting something will help give me an outlet for my craziness.
First of all – I want to preface this post by letting you know I’m a lesbian and this post is about me and my girlfriend’s relationship. I’ve read other posts on here, and it seems like this is a fairly welcoming community so hopefully you will welcome me 🙂
So – on to the background. . .
My girlfriend is honestly the love of my life. She was the first woman I ever had a crush on (I have dated men very unsuccessfully for most of my life). I worked at a Starbuck’s at the bottom of a large building with many businesses, and she worked in the building. She came down for coffee every day, and I went from thinking, “Oh she’s so pretty and really nice” to “She’s hot. I think I might like women.”
But, she’s significantly older than me. We’re twenty and a half years apart. I was completely intimidated by her and decided she wouldn’t want anything to do with a young, inexperienced, and quite frankly – sexually confused little girl. So I thought I would get some experience with women first.
My first girlfriend turned out to quickly become my wife. It was awkward, there was a lot of family pressure for us to settle down, it never felt quite right. Around two months after our wedding (rushed in the courthouse after I got off work – yuck!) she cheated on me, started dating the girl she cheated with, and moved to North Dakota with her. She was terrible with money, and our whole relationship (less than a year from start to finish) took a large tole on me financially. By the time we were done, I was in a lot of debt, I had quit school, my car was reposessed, and I had to pay for a divorce. It was terrible.
So one of my former co-workers at Starbucks was house-sitting for my current girlfriend, and told her about my situation. She set up a night for us all to hang out and play poker, and then canceled at the last minute. It was just my girlfriend and I, and we went from trying to play poker to planning our next date after a couple hours. I spent the night, and we’ve been together ever since – almost 19 months now.
And she’s been so good for me. Since we’ve started dating, we’ve lived together for over a year now and she’s let me live with her rent free to help get my finances in order. I successfuly paid for a divorce. I’m about $700 away from being completely debt free. I graduated college and am now almost done with a M.Ed. I have a car. My credit is still not great but it’s improved a lot. And most importantly, I’m so in love with my girlfriend and our dog.
So, about a week and a half ago, we were shopping in the mall and she suggested we go into Zales to get the pearl ring she got me last Christmas cleaned. We did, and the sales lady remembered us, and asked how long we’d been together now. I told her, and she insisted we sit down to try on engagement rings. Without cringing or arguing, my girlfriend sat down with me and we looked through a lot. She knows what I want, and suggested we go to a private event at Zales in mid January to continue looking at diamonds and settings. She’s also asked me for my social security number so she could write me as the beneficiary of her estate in her living will.
This seems pretty serious, but she also makes comments about being old and scared and holding out as long as possible. . . . and I’m going crazy. I know I’ve made a mistake before, but our relationship couldn’t be more different than my previous one and I can’t imagine ever being without her. Ladies, what’s your take?