Do you think my friend judges us because my ring is cubic zirconia?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’d say it’s most likely because she’s insecure and she points out that yours isn’t a real diamond to make herself feel better. Like she feels you come across as rich in comparison to her, and she wants to knock you down a peg or two so you’re on more even ground with her.

What she is doing is definitely rude. Some people are against CZs because the person is getting the look without buying diamonds, but even if she feels that way, what she is doing isn’t right. It just makes her look bad… so I’d try not to worry about it.

Post # 4
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsTee:  If she does judge you she has no right too.  I suspect that she is jealous and is acting out a bit.  I would tell her to stop telling other people about your ring and that it is your business and you will decide if/when/and how to tell people you wear a cz.

I suspect she is one of those people that think that one little change (ie bigger diamond) will change her situation (keep her husbands pants on).

Post # 5
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

After reading you say her husband has cheated on her it instantly made me think of the saying “misery loves company.” Maybe she’s trying to bring you down because she doesn’t have a perfect marriage. Just because you’re ring isn’t a real diamond doesn’t mean your love isn’t real. She’s just miserable and wants you to be too.

Post # 9
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@MrsTee:  Since you know that her married life sucks, I’d take solace in knowing that yes she’s just trying to bring you and other people down. She’s being totally rude. I’m sure your CZ set is beautiful. I bet that even if you had a diamond ring, she’d find another way to diss you. Ignore!

Post # 10
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

Most definitely she’s jealous that you are getting compliments and she is not. I’m guessing that because you didn’t get a diamond you have a large stone. (Me too, btw). More bling for your buck! In my personal opinion, one sparkly piece of crystaline material is the same as any other. Diamonds are just a bit of carbon and their price is very over-inflated. 

Anyway, she’s probably super insecure because her marriage is not going so well. She compares it to yours and comes up short. I think she’s trying to make you feel bad and tear you down to build herself up. 

I would ask her if she is coping. An oportunity to get all her worries off her chest might help her and restore your friendship. 


Post # 11
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s crazy! My Mom’s worn he same CZ anniversary ring for the last 10 years and LOVES it. Everyone knows they’re not diamonds, but no one calls her out on it!

Your friend needs a serious reality check.

Post # 13
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Sounds like your friend is really fixated on jewelry and thinks it’s really important… and that you have very different priorities. And, it also sounds like she’s being kind of rude about it.

Liking jewelry, and wanting really nice jewelry, is just fine. But it’s downright rude to hold others to the same standard, when there’s no reason they have to play along.

I have a beautiful white sapphire ring, which is exactly what I asked my FI for. (Well, I asked for sapphire, he’s the one who picked a more traditional-looking white stone.) I LOVE MY RING. But if I happened to meet your friend, she might judge me for not having a diamond. She might point out that technically speaking, if you put my ring next to a diamond ring, the diamond might sparkle more. She might point out that it’s a pretty small stone for an engagement ring. Technically speaking, she could have a lot of criticisms of my ring! But you know what? I’d be more than happy to say that she’s out of line. I LOVE MY RING. And even if I didn’t love my ring, she certainly wouldn’t be helping the situation any by pointing out the “flaws”. Especially in front of other people! She is way out of line. Seriously, so, so rude.  I would definitely call her out on it any time she pulls this. Next time she points out your ring is “fake” in front of other people, go ahead and point her out as “tacky” for making a big deal of it.

I have friends with bigger rings than mine. I have friends with more stones, and halos, and such. And if someone compares my ring to another friend’s ring, I don’t care. Even if the ring happens to be “fake” and they are misjudged as the one with the more expensive ring. Whether or not my friend has a more expensive ring has absolutely no bearing on my worth as a person or on the value of my relationship.

It sounds like your friend doesn’t want you to get the credit for having the “better” ring, if people make the mistake of thinking it’s “real”. (Which, btw, your ring is still a “real” ring! Goodness gracious, diamonds aren’t everything!) Sounds like she’s really fixated on the social hierarchy between the two of you, and if people are comparing the two of you based on rings, she wants to come out on top. Which is just silly on so many levels.

Post # 14
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

OP why haven’t you called her on out on her behavior. That’s not what how a true friend behaves. 

Post # 15
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsTee:  I think you’re reading too much into the jewelry store thing but she’s a total bitch for telling people it’s fake. She wouldn’t be my friend after that.

Post # 16
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

While I do think your friend is wrong for her comments about your ring, I don’t understand all of this. I hate when people say something about someone and their situation just because they feel hurt about something else. I don’t think her comments have to do with her husband cheating at all. I think she may be ignorant about a diamond simulant like MANY of the posters on here that always comment (negatively) on CZ and moissy threads.

 I am outspoken and blunt so I would say something to my friend. I don’t mean argue with her or put her (or her relationship) down. I would ask her why she feels the need to say things about your ring.

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