Post # 1
As a bridesmaid I have often found it really hard to be honest with the bride regarding some of the choices. Usually it’s dress related. When they come out all smiling and extremely happy (or are showing it to you when it’s already been purchased) it’s hard to be honest.
Now as a bride I feel like people may just be agreeing because it’s more hassle to say otherwise.
I also think this may be the reason that this site is so popular for peope seeking annonymous opinions!
Post # 4
I didn’t show my dress choices to many…and I was far pickier than they were I think, so I am probably safe on that point. Although now that I think about it, fewer people than I expected told me I looked great… I sort of assumed everyone would say it as the obligatory thing, but not the case. I’m sure some people politely lied about some smaller things, but there are at least a few things I know were absolutely beloved: smores after the rehearsal bbq, handmade caramel favors (people begged afterwards for leftovers), and pie bar. If they didn’t like my centerpieces, oh well!
ETA: A friend that helped a lot would be honest with me. And my sister definitely vetoed a lot of things (to the extent going to visit the dress salon for a bridesmaid gown two months after picking the bridal gown the woman remembered us because of it – no apt type place), so I’m pretty sure she was being honest.
Post # 5
Ha, probably, and I’m just fine with that. I’m pretty confident in my choices and don’t like the second-guessing that comes with asking too many opinions. When I’m sharing info with my mom/dad/bridesmaids, I make it very clear when I’m asking for opinions (then they can be honest) and when I’m TELLING them about what I’ve decided (no negative opinions please that will ruin my happiness!).
My family & MOH are pretty honest with me if something is totally off the rails, but I’m probably my pickiest critic anyway.
Post # 6
@laurab6320: I’m honest, but I take care to make sure that I don’t like something because it is not flattering, offensive ect. not that I don’t like it just because I wouldn’t wear it. So I might not like your dress, but unless the important parts aren’t covered or its really out there I probably wouldn’t say anything. I would point you towards the dress that sounds the most like what you want though (even if its something I wouldn’t wear style-wise). I would probably tell you if a dress made you look big in the wrong places because thats the dress’ fault not yours. And I’ll tell you if you’re doing something that will make your guests judge you (like saying cash gifts in $100 bills only please on the bottom of wedding invitations).
Post # 7
I totally agree..If I talk with the people I know they would think that I am bragging but I am not I am just answering their questions. I have been blessed to have a FI that wants a big wedding and I am doing my best to give him the wedding of his dreams. I personal didnt care and wanted to go to Vegas but this is his second and he didnt have the big wedding so we compromised.
Post # 8
I voted the second option because I think that some people (aka FSIL, who doesn’t like me) is suggesting options which are quite obscure/ugly because she doesn’t want me to have a beautiful wedding.
Everyone else has been pretty honest (I hope!)
Post # 9
I haven’t yet had this issue… Everyone has been brutally honest when dress shopping!
Post # 10
I definitely think that eventually my bridesmaids will lie to me, but they haven’t yet. They’ll lie because they want to see me happy, but they hopefully won’t do it for the big stuff as they know just how important their opinions are.
With that said, I tried on a few dresses before going with them (I hate clothing shopping, I wanted a general idea of what I looked good in). The one I came out grinning in and SUPER excited over they all were kind of “eh” over. The one I ended up picking I LOVED and they couldn’t possibly lie about it. Their reactions were way too emotional!
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I suppose this depends on the relationships you have with people. Unfortunately, my mother didn’t keep one single opinion to herself. My best friend and I are both the type to not hold back and she is usually pretty blunt. However, she knows my style and was my number one supporter in the wedding planning. When we went dress shopping, she and I had a signal that I meant we really didn’t like it and it went both ways. That way we could present a united front against my mother who tends to think I hate whatever she likes just to spite her, which is in no way true, but that’s what I had to deal with.
Post # 12
I’ve only asked for opinions on some stuff (mostly my attire) of my daughter (beautiful MOH) my best friend (mother of the flower girl) or my guy. Everything else, I’m just going ahead with what I want because at my age, I know what I like, what works for me, and don’t care if other people like it
Post # 13
In terms of choosing my dress, I know my ladies were honest with me because they told me there were others they preferred, but none of them seemed to make me as happy as the one I chose (which ended up making my mum cry). There were others that I tried on and my mum or aunt would immediately tell me “No! There’s suchandsuch on this one that doesn’t suit you.” They were very honest, but in a nice way because they wanted me to look my best on my wedding day. My BMs have also been completely honest about the dresses they do/don’t like, which is good because I want them to feel happy and comfortable. In terms of some of the other decisions I don’t really care whether people like them or not because we’ve chosen things Mr CL and I like (e.g. I know not everyone is keen on the origami flowers and that some of his family is disgruntled that we’re having a civil ceremony rather than marrying at the church).
Post # 14
I don;t think most people care whatsoever about others’ wedding details.
Post # 15
Bhaha. I wish my family and friends would try more lying than bolstering their “helpful” opinions 24/7. It comes from a good place, but man it can get exhausting! I think it tends to go either the path of white lies or way too much honesty!
Post # 16
I haven’t made that many decisions, nor have I talked about them with anyone but my fiance and my mom, for the most part, so I don’t think anyone’s lied to me personally about my wedding choices. But I absolutely think people do it in general to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. On here, I can avoid it by just not responding to posts where I don’t like someone’s choices, but in real life I’ve definitely said things like “Sounds great, etc” to avoid making someone feel bad when it’s really just a matter of taste.