Do you think some women want the wedding but not the marriage?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: What's your opinion?
    Yes - I know a girl who wants a big wedding but not the marriage : (172 votes)
    65 %
    No - : (17 votes)
    6 %
    Maybe : (69 votes)
    26 %
    Unsure : (8 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Probably some women think they want a marriage and a wedding, but perhaps have unrealistic expectations of what a lasting marriage means and entails…

    Post # 4
    Member
    1750 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Yes, that is how many women, and men, think.

    It’s all about the excitement, hoopla, and “romance” of the proposal, engagement, and wedding. What happens in marriage and the skills that are involved in having a healthy one are often ignored, not learned, or the person simply does not know about them and why they are important. Finding a compatible and suitable spouse isn’t a priority or sometimes even attempted at all. Sometimes that’s done on purpose, and other times it’s because of ignorance.

    It may be easier to see nowadays, and encouraged in a way, but it’s not new. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1428 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

    I’ve known of a few people like this… one girl, right out of high school, who planned what was essentially a Disney themed wedding.  That one didn’t last very long at all.  And some people blast stuff about and photos of their wedding all over for a really long time with little mention of their spouse, and it makes me wonder.  

    But for the most part I feel like the people I know have their priorities sorted out right!  

    Post # 6
    Member
    2895 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I agree that some girls want the wedding, but not the marriage.  At the same time, I see a lot of unrelistic expectations about marriage being the culpret equally to the wedding.  Most of the girls I seem to know in this boat seem to think that being married “fixes” problems that are in the relationship prior to getting married.  This has exisited much longer than pinterest has. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  I know a girl who wants the wedding more than the marriage….I hope it doesn’t end up in divorce because divorce is so ugly but they certainly have issues. She has not once talked to me about married life or becoming a military spouse so it concerns me…They have a very give all relationship where she vaccums up everything from him. It is so sad because the guy is so awesome! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Misswhowedding:  +1000 

    So many people assume that marriage means that all of your issues ride off into the sunset as you set sail to a new life. 

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  Abso-freaking-lutely. I know of one girl specifically that is now in the process of divorcing her DH and they clearly only married because she wanted the attention and drama of a wedding.

    She actually cheated on him twice right before the wedding and always flirted outright with other guys and she ended up having an abortion shortly before she was engaged (she wasn’t shy about sharing any of this mind you!). They fought constantly and he had nothing to offer; no job, no place to live, no life goals…nothing. I recently found out that they lived with his dad the entire time they were married. She isn’t yet divorced but started going out and dating guys immediately.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Oh absolutely… I think this happens more than people would care to admit.

    I’m the opposite… I did not want a big wedding… I would re-think marrying him if he wanted 300 guests lol.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1333 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    It’s nothing new, but yes I think some people get caught up in the excitement of a wedding. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  Yeah, she is a piece of work….Before he proposed he was so nervous and called DH to ask for advice. Well, the poor dude ended up proposing twice! We finally got word that he was engaged and did it at some big fancy cafe at the beach. DH asked why he waited so long (he told us he was going to propose a month before that) and it turns out when he proposed the first time she cried and said he wasn’t even considering her feelings! How dare he propose during movie night in her apartment! 

    It was REALLY sad because he wasn’t upset with her and beat himself up over it. Ugh, it is nasty! 

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