Post # 1
I was just reading another thread about a bee who wants to get married to her first and only long term relationship and whose parents are against that.
For me personally, my sister has discussed marriage (at a much later date) with her SO, and I think it’s a little crazy because it’s her first relationship that’s lasted over a few months. I personally think it’s the wrong decision to marry the first person you’ve dated more than a few months because you don’t know what you want and I was personally more inclined to stay in my first relationship after a year because I didn’t know anything better. But I also know a girl who just married her first relationship and they’re quite happy!
So bees, what do you think? Let’s keep it nice!
Post # 3
Lots of people do marry their first love.
I on the other hand did a fair bit of dating BEFORE I met & married my first Husband
And I was still young when we met (Uni Student)
We were married for over 20 years… and it ended in Divorce.
I stayed too long. I attribute our issues partly to the fact we met & married so young
Didn’t know ourselves well enough… nor were we mature enough to handle all the stuff that came down the pipe thru being married.
So I am not really a fan of people marrying young OR their first relationship
But I realize that is my opinion and based on both MY OWN life experience, and the amount of people my age that I see who end up divorced because they too made a similar choice in life (marry young to their “one and only”)
On the other hand, I have a GF, who is married for over 40 years to the boy she met in High School… her one and only true love.
They are just sooo darn cute together… still head over heels about each other.
So ya it works… I just don’t think often enough.
Post # 4
@happilyeveraftergirl: To each their own. There’s also a big difference between marrying your “first love” after a few months or the day you become legal at 18 versus being with that first love for years and really growing together into adulthood and working through life as a couple before deciding to go into marriage.
Personally, im very glad im not with my first love and i have learned so much since then. But it doesnt mean it isn’t right for some people.
Post # 5
I certainly wasn’t going to dump my first long term bf (now husband) just because he was my first. I don’t see how you can possibly give a blanket answer to this. The answer must be “depends”.
Post # 6
It’s not up to me what’s right for other people. But for me, I couldn’t have married either of my first two boyfriends, (just under six months and just under 3 months), they weren’t right for me. FI couldn’t have married his first girlfriend (just under a year), she wasn’t right for him. Our relationship is I guess the first really long relationship either of us has had (we have been together nearly five years) and we are lucky to have found the right one so young 🙂
ETA: And I had had boyfriends before so I did know what I want and FI had had a girlfriend before me, I had been friends with FI for nearly a year before we became a couple, so I think that basis has made our relationship stronger. If it’s not right for others that’s fine, but it was right for us.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016
@happilyeveraftergirl: my FI and I have been together since sophomore year in high school. So it’s been 5 years, neither of us have been in other long term serious relationships. We are very happy and in love. I don’t see a problem, everyone just has their own opinions about it I guess.
Post # 8
@happilyeveraftergirl: I don’t see anything wrong with it. Some people are more mature and intuitive than others and maybe she can spot “mr. wrong” a lot faster than most…
Post # 9
I’m marrying the first and only guy I ever dated. How in the world is there something wrong with that?
Post # 10
im marrying my first long term boyfriend. why wouldn’t I!
Post # 11
@HappinessIsInDaisies: “There’s also a big difference between marrying your “first love” after a few months or the day you become legal at 18 versus being with that first love for years and really growing together and working through life as a couple before deciding to go into marriage.” Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-you-think-someone-should-marry-their-first-long-term-relationship-so#ixzz2mfOzDDh . +1
Post # 12
@This Time Round: Very good post!
I don’t have anything against people who marry their first relationship. I know plenty offhand! But all of my friends and myself who dated after the first guy who was “perfect”, were much happier after in our next relationships. I haven’t met a friend yet who didn’t find someone better after the second relationship.. So I guess that’s why I always think “Maybe it’s better to try more things before picking one.”
Post # 13
My first “real” boyfriend and I dated for about a year and a half. At the time, I really believed that I was in love with him because I was so young. In retrospect, I am REALLY, REALLY, INDESCRIBABLY glad that we did not end up together. I ended up dating quite a few tools afterward, but it was worth it when I met my FI because after we’d been dating for a while I had a moment where I realized that “wow, we don’t have any drama. Wow, I’m not worried about him cheating on me and lying about it. Wow, I love waking up next to this man. Hey, we are a really great team. This man loves me unconditionally for who I am and I feel the same about him.” So yeah, if I had married the first guy that I ever dated I would have m issed out on my true soulmate.
Post # 14
@DuckEBee: I think we are the same person, I swear. Hahah. I also believed I was so in love with my first boyfriend and we dated about a year and a half! THIS: “wow, we don’t have any drama. Wow, I’m not worried about him cheating on me and lying about it. Wow, I love waking up next to this man. Hey, we are a really great team.”
^ So true! Every single time my fiance does something that makes me realize what a great guy he is, I am just so shocked.. I dated around 15-20 guys before him and it made me realize how much I would have been settling if I hadn’t waited for my fi.
Post # 15
@happilyeveraftergirl: Almost by definition, people who had a second relationship didn’t make a good choice with their first.
Post # 16
@paula1248: I don’t think that’s true at all. I know personally that I dated many great guys who I would have been happy with. Amazing guys! But dating them gave me more experience to realize what I wanted and I picked a great guy for me. I could have been happy with a number of amazing guys in the past! One is still a friend who just had a baby and got married himself! His wife is a very lucky girl. I don’t think I made a mistake in dating him at all.