Do you think someone should marry their first long term relationship SO?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Your answer:
    Yes! : (62 votes)
    19 %
    No!!! : (56 votes)
    18 %
    Never : (14 votes)
    4 %
    I would consider it : (50 votes)
    16 %
    Depends : (136 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Lots of people do marry their first love.

    I on the other hand did a fair bit of dating BEFORE I met & married my first Husband

    And I was still young when we met (Uni Student)

    We were married for over 20 years… and it ended in Divorce.

    I stayed too long.  I attribute our issues partly to the fact we met & married so young

    Didn’t know ourselves well enough… nor were we mature enough to handle all the stuff that came down the pipe thru being married.

    So I am not really a fan of people marrying young OR their first relationship

    But I realize that is my opinion and based on both MY OWN life experience, and the amount of people my age that I see who end up divorced because they too made a similar choice in life (marry young to their “one and only”)

    On the other hand, I have a GF, who is married for over 40 years to the boy she met in High School… her one and only true love.

    They are just sooo darn cute together… still head over heels about each other.

    So ya it works… I just don’t think often enough.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  To each their own. There’s also a big difference between marrying your “first love” after a few months or the day you become legal at 18 versus being with that first love for years and really growing together into adulthood and working through life as a couple before deciding to go into marriage. 

    Personally, im very glad im not with my first love and i have learned so much since then. But it doesnt mean it isn’t right for some people. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7197 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I certainly wasn’t going to dump my first long term bf (now husband) just because he was my first. I don’t see how you can possibly give a blanket answer to this. The answer must be “depends”.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    It’s not up to me what’s right for other people. But for me, I couldn’t have married either of my first two boyfriends, (just under six months and just under 3 months), they weren’t right for me. FI couldn’t have married his first girlfriend (just under a year), she wasn’t right for him. Our relationship is I guess the first really long relationship either of us has had (we have been together nearly five years) and we are lucky to have found the right one so young 🙂

    ETA: And I had had boyfriends before so I did know what I want and FI had had a girlfriend before me, I had been friends with FI for nearly a year before we became a couple, so I think that basis has made our relationship stronger. If it’s not right for others that’s fine, but it was right for us.

    Post # 7
    Member
    650 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  my FI and I have been together since sophomore year in high school. So it’s been 5 years, neither of us have been in other long term serious relationships. We are very happy and in love. I don’t see a problem, everyone just has their own opinions about it I guess. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1018 posts
    Bumble bee

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  I don’t see anything wrong with it. Some people are more mature and intuitive than others and maybe she can spot “mr. wrong” a lot faster than most…

    Post # 9
    Member
    4540 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

    I’m marrying the first and only guy I ever dated. How in the world is there something wrong with that?

    Post # 10
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    im marrying my first long term boyfriend. why wouldn’t I!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1249 posts
    Bumble bee

    @HappinessIsInDaisies:  “There’s also a big difference between marrying your “first love” after a few months or the day you become legal at 18 versus being with that first love for years and really growing together and working through life as a couple before deciding to go into marriage.” Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-you-think-someone-should-marry-their-first-long-term-relationship-so#ixzz2mfOzDDh .  +1

    Post # 13
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My first “real” boyfriend and I dated for about a year and a half. At the time, I really believed that I was in love with him because I was so young. In retrospect, I am REALLY, REALLY, INDESCRIBABLY glad that we did not end up together. I ended up dating quite a few tools afterward, but it was worth it when I met my FI because after we’d been dating for a while I had a moment where I realized that “wow, we don’t have any drama. Wow, I’m not worried about him cheating on me and lying about it. Wow, I love waking up next to this man. Hey, we  are a really great team. This man loves me unconditionally for who I am and I feel the same about him.” So yeah, if I had married the first guy that I ever dated I would have m issed out on my true soulmate. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    7197 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  Almost by definition, people who had a second relationship didn’t make a good choice with their first.

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