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Just an interesting topic my coworker and I were talking about this morning...My coworker insists there is a stigma. I haven't noticed it too much...but have definitely felt out of place because of my (lack of) beliefs. What do you think?
I definitely think there is a stigma, especially against atheists.
I feel like all too often people assume that if you are an atheist then you are an anarchist and am amoral person (which doesn't make any sense!).
Just because atheist and anarchist both start with "a" don't mean they are the same thing.
I don't know if there's a stigma...but I do know there are people who assume that athiest/agnostic = amoral, which is very offensive to me. Those are usually people who identify strongly with their personal faith and think that everybody needs to be on board that train. I don't belittle folks who do believe in a specific religion, I expect the same respect in return.
I don't hear negativity about atheist/agnostic any more then I hear it about any other religious choices. By that I mean, it's there, but probably not disproportionate.
It seems like we (atheists) are the group that all of the religions have gotten together and agreed to hate. I think it's because we scare them. They are threatened by us because we are growing, because we are freethinking and because we believe something a whole lot more sensible than invisible friend(s) in the sky.
There definitely is. I'm agnostic, DH is atheist. All the time, we get people who want to "save" us and are quite vocal about it. :S No bueno. On the other hand, if I tried to plead the case of being agnostic (no proof either way, and all that stuff), I know someone would rip me a new one and tell me I'm going to hell for not being sold on the belief thing.
@missrobots: This, exactly. I like not being spoon-fed a particular moral code from a book--it gives me more freedom to decide for myself what is moral/immoral. I like being able to create my own set of values.
I think it depends entirely on where you live. In some places there is a stigma against atheists, in some places there is a stigma against the religious, mainly Christians.
@moonadea: I agree it depends on where you live (I live in the South), but I have never been ANYWHERE there is a stigma against Christians.
Unfortunately, yes, there is a stigma. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. Maybe my view is skewed, because I reside deeeeeep in the bible belt. Just a month or so ago, a co-worker was wearing a Wiccan pendant, (yes, she's an atheist) and everyone jumped on the bandwagon that she was a devil worshiper. Ugh. No, no, no! I defended her, and tried to set everyone straight that Wiccan/atheist did NOT equal devil worship.
I haven't felt much of a stigma. I don't know that I qualify as agnostic (I believe in something but don't care to define it / understand it now b/c I can't) but it has never come up in an awkward setting.
I guess that most of my peers are the same as in not overly religious, but at any rate I feel less judged about this than anything else in my life.
I also live in the northeast in a major city, that might have a lot to do with it. I imagine it would be much harder in say the Bible Belt.
I think it does! I don't deal with it much in my profession in academia but I still think there is a stigma associated with it!
This was a massive thread from awhile back. But it was discussing this exact topic and some really great posts were made all in a civil manner. You may want to check it out!
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/atheists-andor-agnostics-how-do-you-cope-with-naysayers
For sure. I'm agnostic, DH is an atheist. I don't even know how many times I've been told that I'm going to hell, or that they will pray for me or that my parents raised me wrong.
For real, I just want to be left alone to believe as I see fit. I don't mock others for their faith or lack-thereof so it really ticks me off when people do it to me.
@MyFavouriteChords: In my experience, there is much less of a stigma against people who believe in something supernatural, so that might explain why you haven't felt it.
@helenberrycrunch: I agree. I think there are tons of stigmas about whatever type of belief system you have/don't have. So yeah, it's definitely there, but it's the same you would see against other beliefs in different circles and in different parts of the country.
@MyFavouriteChords: Definitely this. I'm in Dallas, so for Texas it's a pretty liberal area...but there's still some stigma left. Back in college, some people started an "Atheist and Freethinkers Club" and there was SO MUCH hate directed towards them, while the religious based groups had existed for years unharmed.
Also, my grandma is convinced FI and I are going to get divorced because we aren't having any group prayers during the ceremony. :p God is the only thing that can hold our marriage together apparently. But I love her, so I just smile and thank her for her thoughts.
@helenberrycrunch: Are you an atheist or agnostic though? My coworker and I are both Atheists and live in the South so that could be part of why we see it so much.
Oh, yes there is and I live in a fairly liberal area (northeast) near Philly. I've experienced this many times.
@Lemma: I could see that as true. The part that I don't get in general though is that there really is never a time when my religion or lack of religion ever comes up in any setting... We had a non-religious ceremony at my wedding venue which I think would be the only clue people would have as to my religious preferences and no one had anything to say. I guess the afterlife or lack of afterlife just isn't a normal topic of conversation around me so I don't notice a bias.
My husband is an atheist. I definitely think there is a stigma. NPR did a study and found that the type of person parents MOST don't want their children to date are atheist, This is probably due to the misconception that without religion you have no morality.
Here's an example that just came to mind. Before our wedding last year, numerous co-worker's would ask me, 'What church are you getting married at?" I would reply, "No church, at the hotel...I'm not religious." Many of them would give me the raised eyebrow and an "Ohhhhh". I could almost see it in their eyes that they think, "Oh boy, Jenn is going to hell!" I generally just keep my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) to myself because I can't stand the preachy judgement. Now when I get, 'So are you going to church on Christmas?" I just respond "no" and leave it at that. It's not that I'm embarrassed of my beliefs, but I can't stand listening to people's reactions.
@kate169: I live in a liberal town in Ontario and work at a university. All of those things mean that I encounter fewer religious people than I would otherwise. Even so, often when I do meet religious people, I do feel stigmatized. It's not all of them of course, but many.
My mum has even stopped being willing to admit that she's atheist because of this. She says instead that she has "no religion." This apparently goes down much better.
@Jenn23: This has happened to me so many times! There's that ever so slight judgemental pause..."Oh..so you're NOT getting married in a church?" I've had a few people ask if it would even still "count" if it wasn't at a church.
exactly! I hate when people tell me they will pray for me when I tell them I don't believe in what they believe in. That certainly will not change my views!! And I love the fact that I usually know more about the bible then them :)
@MyFavouriteChords: Hmmm, interesting! Somehow it manages to come up when I'm around. Then again, I'm of the opinion that atheists shouldn't have to hide our beliefs, so I might mention it more than you.
Oh and also... I work in a science based field. That probably has something to do with this as well. I wish I could have contained all my thoughts in one response but it is early and I'm without caffiene, please excuse my 989 responses!
I’m an atheist and there’s definitely a stigma. Thankfully most people in my life respect my (lack of) beliefs but there are always a few who feel the need to question them. I’ve been told that I have no soul, my life is pointless, I’m going to hell (I find this one especially entertaining considering if I don’t believe there’s a heaven, I certainly don’t believe there’s a hell). I’ve even had people tell me how sad of a life I must be living if I don’t believe that there’s a higher power. It’s all nonsense. I live a very full and fantastic life without the fear of god, thankyouverymuch.
I hate the double standard. What makes it okay for a “believer” to belittle me but if I question their beliefs, all hell breaks loose. I know that some people feel that saving us “heathens” is their calling from above but I think it’s rude, unnecessary and punch-worthy (not that I’d ever actually do that but it’s fun to think about
). I wonder how they’d feel if I gave them a list of reasons why they shouldn’t believe in their higher power. Maybe next time I will. If they can get all high and mighty then so can I.
Wow, funny enough, DH and I were talking about this yesterday during the presidential debate. We weren't watching but were commenting on how Mitt Romney seems to be finding it hard to get Republicans excited about him and how it must be because he's a Mormon. But then, we also agreed that the USA would probably vote a Morman, Jewish, Bhudist and Muslim BEFORE they vote in an atheist. Read an interesting article here. This country has a religious streak (not really God streak) running through it. I grew up in Africa (very religious), lived in TX (religious) and now live in NYC and I still meet folks who think that atheism equals amoral. I don't get it. However, I do have a lot of friends that are very religious. We just don't discuss religion since neither DH nor I are remotely religious. Funny enough, I don't come across any stigma in my day to day living. But that's because in my day to day living, I don't discuss religious beliefs. And oh, I hardly ever get folks trying to save me. Is it because I don't meet new folks and people who already know me know that it's a waste of time??
ETA: Religious streak as in, you MUST believe in something. Bhudda, Nirvana, hell, God, heaven, something. Anything. A belief in nothing is too scary. That's why folks, I think, are a bit more open to the idea of an Agnostic because it means that there is a belief in something 'other' even though you don't know what it is. But an atheist, there's nothing. Nada. It's us, then we die. That's scary for some folks. So, you don't have to believe in God per se, but a higher power, something that makes things make sense instead of things happening without the help of a higher power.
Yes. People tend to think atheists are self centered and have no morals. My husband gets asked all the time "But then what will happen to you after you die?" and he answers "I guess I become plant food, like every other person." People wonder how you can live your life not knowing you'll be reuinted with your dead loved ones and see God and Jesus and whoever. While I shuffle back and forth in my religious beliefs (it's really more of a question of what my definition of a higher power is), my husband is a staunch atheist and doesn't feel his life is empty or without purpose. His attitude is, be a good person while you're here and have a good life because once it's gone, it's gone.
@bRooklynRocks: That's a perfect example. But what do you mean by "This country has a religious streak (not really God streak) running through it"?
@Lemma: I hear that. I have said I'm "non religious" or other things instead of outright admitting to being an atheist because I fear judgement.
@UpstateCait: Yes! The double standard is so maddening!
@KatyElle: His attitude is, be a good person while you're here and have a good life because once it's gone, it's gone.
Exactly! My philosophy is that the purpose of life (aside from procreation) is to be as happy as possible while making the people around you as happy as possible.
What religious people don't seem to understand is that it is nobler to be good because you want to be good than out of fear of hell.
Yes, there is a stigma. I have lived and worked in a suburb of Nashville for a little of a year and I have been witnessed to numerous times. The most recent was yesterday was when another atheist coworker and I went to luch with a christian who had been planning for about ~6 months on how to "save us".
Totally think there's a stigma. Until dating FI I never had to deal with extremely religious people personally so it's been an adjustment. Otherwise I never come across this issue. Like others have already mentioned it's really just become something to talk about with the wedding approaching and everyone asking which church we're using.
I grew up in a country torn apart because of religion. We were all perfectly fine and happy with atheism (thank you communism) and now when I go back I don't even recognize the place I grew up in.
I personally get offended with the comment that I will change my mind some day and believe in something as I get older. Sorry, but I'm not going to wake up and believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny and similarily my views on religion will not change.
I don't really feel there is...but maybe because I could care a hoot what "bible thumpers" think. And I would assume if there is a stigma it comes from them.
@Ms. Martian: Sorry, but I'm not going to wake up and believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny and similarily my views on religion will not change. - So true!
@Lemma: Yup. I definitely feel more comfortable saying that I'm non-religious.
I've gotten a couple of strangers trying to preach/witness/testify to me (which is so weird. I mean they didn't even ask if I'm religious! How do they know I'm not a Christian already? So presumptuous. ) but I've never had someone I know say anything to me. Though I do have to bite my own tongue sometimes.
I also make sure to stay in big cities and run in artsy, liberal circles. I'm much more concerned with the stigma about being gay than about being atheist though.
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