(Closed) Do you think this bridesmaid will show?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Hmmm, I want to say no? Perhaps plan for a last minute phone call with her saying something has come up? I mean, I dont know her but if you think that she’s a bit flakey and wont show then you’ve got a better idea than we do. Do you think it will be ok with one less bm? I had one bm tell me she “might not be able to make it” and kept assuring me that she will probably be there but I just knew she wouldnt. So now I dont have a 3rd bm. No biggie. 

Post # 4
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Maybe have someone as a back-up?

Post # 6
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Personally I feel that you can’t be hurt or feel let down if she has a legitimate excuse (such as a phobia of flying) which may prevent her from attending your wedding. I think you have the right to be disappointed that your friend wont be there. Unfortunately you get no say in how she spends her money so it is silly to get upset over that. As far as the dress is concerned- did you discuss a budget with her? Since she is saying that she can’t afford it then i would definately have listened to her.

As far as weddings go I think it is silly to say things like but they have the money or they spend their money on other things. The reality of it is that it is your wedding and people have limits to what they want to spend on someone elses wedding. Your wedding is the most important day to you but to someone else it is not the top priority- getting their nails done might be for them.

I would just talk to her about your concern that she seems stressed about money and ask her if she wants to talk about and that you hope that you are not putting too much pressure on her.

Post # 7
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

From what you’ve said, it seems unlikely, but people can always surprise you and pull through so you never know. That being said, I’d plan for “something coming up” with her so if she flakes you’re prepared, and if not then great!

Post # 9
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@meetmethere2013:  Then it sounds like your friend may be suffering from some type of anxiety disorder or depression. Maybe you should just talk to her about her and not mention the wedding. If my friends behaviour changed and she developed anxiety over things (such as being afraid to do anything) I would be more concerned about her mental health than my wedding.

Post # 11
1 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

I have a very close friend who I asked to be in my bridal party and I know finacially it will be hard for her.  My girls need to order their dress in full by a certain date and so if she doesn’t I’ll know then.  I think it was ver sweet of you to put up the money but don’t do that anymore.  A wedding is so expensive as it is.  Plan on her not coming and you selling the dress on ebay.  Keep your chin up cause you did all you could do.  Keep busy with your wedding and remember it’s about you and him and no one else.  Wink

Post # 12
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with @MrsManzo:. You’ve done what you can do. She’ll either come or she won’t.

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