- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
FI and I have differing views on this, and I’m curious to know what you think:
FI has a friend/coworker, let’s call him Mike, who is notoriously unhappy in his relationship with his wife. He’s not secretive about the fact that he’s unhappy, and that his wife is sometimes crazy emotional/jealous.
FI and Mike also work with a single girl; let’s call her Tammy. FI and Mike are pretty close with each other, and are in the process of becoming closer friends with Tammy (she shares their kind of humor and is a really nice girl).
One night a week, FI and Mike play softball together (city league). Mike drives straight to the games from work, and his wife and kids drive to his games in a separate car.
Lately, Mike has been inviting Tammy to watch their team play. Not sure how she gets from work to the softball field. At the end of the night, Mike drives Tammy home and his wife and kids go home in their separate car.
Mike never stays out with Tammy, he always goes straight home after dropping her off, so there’s really no time for him to physically cheat with her, but his wife doesn’t approve and suspects him of having an affair with her.
While I don’t suspect him of cheating (there’s no evidence to support this), I think it’s inappropriate for him to drive Tammy home because he’s a married man. Also, given his often-voiced opinions of his wife, I think little things like driving her home every week might lead him to develop feelings for her, or for an emotional bond to form between them.
Am I crazy for thinking that way?
FI says that he knows Mike well, that he doesn’t see Tammy as more than a friend, and a ride home isn’t a big deal, since Mike is the one who invited her to watch them in the first place.
But I think that an invitation doesn’t necessitate a ride home. I wonder, how does she get to work? If she has no car, can someone pick her up? Can she hitch a ride with someone else on the team (they’re all coworkers, everyone knows everyone)? The fields are on the same bus line as their work, so can she take a bus home?
FI and I first discussed this about a month ago, and I was reminded of it when he got some texts from Tammy today, and he promptly hid his phone from me. :/ not cool. But that’s another story.
What do you think about Mike and Tammy?