(Closed) Do you think we’re making progress?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think HE thinks that logistically, he thinks it makes sense for you guys to be living together.

If he thought it made sense for you two to be getting engaged, he would be talking to you about marriage.

If this is what you want, you need to TALK TO HIM about it. We can’t read his mind. You can’t read his mind. He can’t read your mind. YOU have to talk to HIM and figure out where you guys are at and what you both want, in a time frame you both agree on.

Post # 4
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I have to say, I have not experinced an engagement yet! But, I just got a cold feeling from your post. Of course you know your realtionship best; though when you said he told you you would “make a great team”, omg, thats exactly the line in The Graduate! lol! Aside from that, its a statement that would be a HUUUGE turn off for me. Also how you say he told you that you have “a lot of qualities he wants in a spouse”… well, thats not very loving in my opinion. Of course how can I know lol I dont know you two. But it just sounded like he was trying to want you to be his spouse. You know what I mean. To say you have “a lot of qualities”??? eeesh 🙁 Then hes not willing to move to your town? well, when people love eachother, they tend to sacrifice certain things. Well, I just had to say, you sound like lovely lady, but Im just not feeling it on this guys end. How “extremely uncomfortable” he was, how he is willing to move to your town for a “brief period”. I have never read something that described a man less in love!Im sorry to say that, but thats exactly it for me, he doesnt sound in love. Which makes me VERY curious what the sudden “enthusiasm” is all about…

Post # 5
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well I am one to know that love is the biggie thing here.  Does he demonstrate that to you as often as he can considering the long distance?  What are his feelings NOW on marriage and your future?

That would be my advice.  To answer those two questions first. 

As far as what made me know my now DH was ready for M?  About a year earlier at a dressy holiday party, afterwards we stayed and had a private dinner and some wonderful glasses of wine.  After our second glass he looked at me and said “Cookie (his nickname for me), what type of solitaire would you like if we got engaged?”  I told him.  From that day forward I knew it was on his mind.  Turns out he picked out my e ring shortly after the holidays of 2008/09 and spent the rest of the year paying it off.

But imho knowing first if he’s ready for M is most important of all.  My DH told me shortly after we began dating that he was a marrying guy.  He stopped me in the hallyway of his/our house and said “Hey.  I want to let you know I am not into serial dating.  I’m not into dating a long time with no end to it.  I want to be remarried one day and you need to let ME know if that is something you’d want to.”

I knew I had a marrying kinda guy.  You have to find this out.  There are plenty of men who do want marriage and you gotta find out if your BF is on board for that.  Mr. Bee also has a great thread about the guys’ pov if you want to read it!

Post # 6
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

@xtrabeeautiful:He sounds JUST LIKE my BF!!!  He took forever to come around to the idea of our future… but once he did, it was very much in the same way!  We now have plans to move in together in the summer and be engaged next fall.  Def. a step in the right direction for you!!

Post # 7
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

@sunrise_stream:I get what you mean about the “coldness” to her post… however, my boyfriend is very much the same way!  He’s very logical and his job has come first for SO LONG!  Things have to be logical before they can be emotional for him.  It took some getting used to for me, as I am very emo…. but…it’s also why I love him so much.  Things are always thought through and he takes his time.  I know I will always be taken care of with him.

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