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Weddings seem to make all of us appearance-conscious. It made me wonder, do you think you are beautiful? I think most women are better looking than they give themselves credit for. It makes me so sad when perfectly reasonable-looking women, even beautiful women, put themselves down about their appearance.
I feel like I wasted so many years of my life thinking I was ugly. I mean, I was kind of a weird-looking child (really I was....but tons of people are). I like to say I improved with age. :) I know I am not the most gorgeous person in the world, but with some minimal effort I look great most days, I think. One thing that really improved my body confidence was making a concerted effort to say only positive things about my appearance to myself and others (usually I am successful). When you can only say positive things, your attitude starts to get more positive too.
I know that real beauty is on the inside, but a lot of self-worth can be tied up in appearance. What do you think of yours? Has your wedding impacted how you feel about your appearance?
I agree that I thought I was a weird loking child as well! My facial features are more defined than the traditionally pretty girls (I think it's the eastern European in me). But I definetly have grown into myself now and feel a lot better about how I look. And I love how the wedding pictures made me look!
I really started taking pride in myself about two years ago, and when that happened, I started to love myself, my appearance included. Sure, there are things I don't like about myself, but I'm happy with who I am and how I look. Once I started loving myself and feeling confident, my outward appearance change- to the point where friends and family noticed. If I would have answered this pole two years ago, I would have checked "I'm middle of the road", but today, I checked "I'm gorgeous in my own way" :-)
I have my "fat days" like everyone else, but in general I'm pleased with how I've grown into myself. I feel naked now without makeup on but when i do my makeup just right, sometimes i surprise myself by who i see in the mirror =].
i was tall, awkward, dorky, and not allowed to wear makeup growing up. I was a tomboy and never got any attention from boys. I laugh at photos of myself now with braces, glasses, long mousy brown hair I was forbidden to cut (dad's rule--it was down to my butt!) and the huge clothes i'd wear to hide my C cups! Hey i was 13...boobs were weird =]. And i'm always happy with the features of my face--my eyes are unique, my teeth are straight and white, i've always been happy with my nose.
Long story short, I'll be honest and say I think i'm a beautiful woman. I'm no Heidi Klum, but hell, who is, except Heidi Klum, of course...=]
And yes, I see too many beautiful women put themselves down and it just KILLS me. My friends do this and it just frustrates me to no end that they can't see themselves from a different perspective for once
I've got one of those looks. I can either look great or fu-law-ful. I have a very German looking square face too. Doesn't help sometimes in pictures.
When I was younger, my hair was darker and my natural hair color looks HORRIBLE with my skin tone. Hair dye does wonders.
I said average. lol. But dang. When I decide to go for it, I look pretty good. = )
EJS- I have to say, your wedding pictures, I think your leaned on a piano, is one of my favorite I've ever seen on Weddingbee :)
I think bridal magazines and the WIC make us insecure. In an ideal world, the wedding and the marriage should make us all feel beautiful! We all have loving FIs who think we are SMOKING HAWT! If they didn't, they might not have even said hi to us in the first place. I think Miss Nachos had a great post the other day about her self-image. And her FI knew her during that whole junior high awkward stage! The rest of us are probably still hiding those photos from our FIs. :oP
Not one of the bees should worry about their bridal self-image. You will be the best looking, best dressed woman at your wedding!
Having a more positive self-image in general has allowed me to have better bad days. There are days when I feel fat, or ugly, or my skin is acting up for the zillionth time, and I can say, "ugh I feel fat/ugly/pimply" and it means more than just fishing for compliments would. Because my underlying self-confidence is good, when I am feeling the flaws, my husband takes me seriously. He doesn't need to contradict me or lecture me about how really I am god's gift to man; he just gives me a hug and tells me I am beautiful even if I am all gross-feeling.
My emotion about my appearance and the truth of my appearance are much more separated than they used to be. I can feel ugly some days but know that I am not actually ugly and that this emotion too shall pass. Versus I used to think that because I felt ugly, I was ugly.
I know these kind of women...like my sister who looks great but is always saying she needs to lose 10 lbs...in front of me who has always struggled with my weight. Losing weight has def helped me feel better about myself...I was getting unhealthy and was miserable about the way I did look. I was 250 lbs and finally did something about it and now Im down to 200lbs and very proud of myself. I did have my awkward child and teen yrs...bad hair...bushy eyebrows! Loved when I got them waxed for the first time! Sometimes it takes time after being teased and put down...even by your own sister...I feel beautiful and think Im beautiful. My fiance also builds my confidence every day when he just looks at me and tells me Im beautiful....he melts my heart.
I appear to be among the minority...which for this is awesome! I don't think I am pretty. I love my eyes and occassionally I will think I look nice but generally I don't like myself. I wish I had confidence! I think it is because I was once told that my being smart made up for the fact that I'm not as pretty as my younger cousin. I'm 20 and was told that years ago. Anyways I wish I liked myself! I am so glad that y'all feel good about yourselves.
P.S. I ALWAYS think I look fat, even though everyone tells me that I am not :(
I grew up in LA around blonde beach babes.
Soooo, yeah, confidence is not aplenty.
I feel like I've always been in communities where I'm surrounded by gorgeous women who put a TON of effort into beauty. Staying thin, makeup and beautiful outfit/hairstyle every day, and many many beauty procedures. I honestly don't have time for most of this and usually go au naturale. So I don't think I'm that pretty. I'm not fat or ugly, but definitely no supermodel. If I really make an effort, I do think I can look pretty hot ;) But I don't have anywhere close to the time it's necessary to look like that every day.
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@D.Marie: i totally agree with you. my sister is TINY think size 00. so of course she always says she's trying to watch her figure and watch what she eats etc.. um I'm a size 16. so i tease and say what figure and we just giggle about it. but yeah weight has always been my issue, i definitely hide my emotions by eating and will say that whenever i have a period that is stressful in my life you can tell because i gain about 20 lbs or more. and i never really lose it, hence i'm over weight. now i am in the mind frame of losing the weight and handling my stressors in a different light...
edited because other the weight i think i'm one of the sexiest women i have ever seen.. i love how exotic i look (yes i am tooting my own horn)... and my nose is my favorite part of my body besides my collar bone, even though my boobs have gotten me the most perks! (all pun intended)
I'm sure some will be aghast when I say this, but I think I'm downright beautiful. I'm not what society says is the most beautiful woman in the world, but that "woman" wouldn't even have my skin tone anyway.lol
I'm plus size, a 18, but I'm still pretty damn nice looking. 
I think I am beautiful...Yes, I want to drop a few pounds but I have to love myself in spite of everything....
It's crazy but I think I am more beautiful now as a plus-sized woman than I was when I was skinny. I think the difference is that I have become confident in who I am. I have a strong sense of self and I know my worth. I am trying to lose weight but not because I don't think I am beautiful now....more because I want my arteries, cholesterol level, and joints to feel as beautiful as the rest of me =) I don't wear makeup very often so I have learned the power of a perfectly arched set of eyebrows and skin that is well taken care of. I am trying to raise my daughter not to buy into society's definition of beauty b/c there is nothing more beautiful than a confident, self-sufficient woman with a good heart....regardless of size or race.
@msmama: we're arrogant huh? but like bey says, some call it arrogance i call it confidence...
I think we have a gorgeous hive....inside and out.
I think I'm beautiful...maybe not as pretty as models or anything but I am pretty thankful an happy with the good looks that I do have. I rarely wear make up besides bare minerals and mascarra and love my skin now! But I do remember in middle school or high school if I ever got a zit I'd feel gross and have to put on a lot of make up to "fix" it.
I take good care of myself (for the most part!) and am proud of it!
speaking of, what about your SO's? Does he find himself happy with his looks/body image? I've read some facinating articles on male self esteem and it is pretty interesting stuff!
My FH is a lot like me in many ways, but way less outgoing when you first get to know him then I am, and he is very handsome/"hot" but b/c he can be shy/reserved he doesn't know it sorta thing...which I find adorable! He looks a bit like a jock...but doesn't act like one!
@Sulli...whew let's not get started on the FI's.....My FI is the sexiest, most gorgeous creature walking on two legs....scrumptious...LOL
@jamaica LOL good that is totally what you should think :)
does he think that about himself as well?
Most days I feel pretty. I'm petit, and when I was in middle and high school, I was just plain skinny. I weighed like 85 lbs and couldn't gain weight. I had knobby knees, none of my clothes fit, and I was still in a training bra lol. So I had some issues with how I looked. When I got into college, I gained 20 pounds, got some nice curves and I feel much better about myself now. It also helps that I have a great man who constantly tells me I am beautiful. :)
I've always had image issues and self-esteem issues...there are days when I look in the mirror and I absolutely LOVE the way I look and think I'm beautiful beyond compare (yup can be conceited! lol) but then there are days when I look in the mirror and think I'm the ugliest thing ever!
I've also been on the weight loss/gain roller coaster since the age of 12. Currently I'm at a "happy weight" and plan on staying here (finally found what works!) but a lot of my image issues definitely are weight-related.
it sucks because I see beautiful women and girls who are constantly putting themselves down and I just want to scream - "what? you're BEAUTIFUL!!!!" but I think it's just something that the human race - especially women - will always deal with.
Okay not to be all cheesy... but I kind of think that any woman who looks confident and happy is beautiful. Right now I seriously need to lose some weight so my body image isn't the best... but when I'm fit I feel like I'm a generally pretty person
@Sulli...honestly...he knows that women find him physically attractive. I swear he attracts women of all ages, races, shapes, and sizes...LOL. Sometimes he is insecure b/c neither of us is the other's usual type. He has more of the basketball players build....long and lean...and I usually dated guys with the football build...big and brawny. I am a plus-sized woman and he has literally dated models (although he didn't really gravitate to a specific body type)...LOL. He worries about the age difference sometimes. He is 42, I am 34...but he knows I think he's gorgeous. I think both men and women have days when they don't feel all that desirable...men are just better at brushing it off and keeping it moving.
I put alot of effort in my appearance because that makes me feel who I am. Im neat, I like to be well presented. I like the clean look. So I will put in the effort to blow dry my hair or put my make up on. But i can still hang around the house without make up on and have no problem. FH likes that I put the effort in.
Im not photogenic, so I am really worried about my wedding photos but that doesnt stop me from being in the photo. So i say im middle of the road, but can scrub ok, but definetly not photogenic or model material. FH loves me for who I am and is constantly giving me reassurance when I have my down day.
FH scrubs up really well. He is always neat with appearance and takes care of himself. His ego isnt massive but he is confident with how he looks. Always working out and being a fitness aholic.
Is it strange to say I'm not really sure? It's very strange.. I know other people think I'm pretty because they say so, but I don't really fit into a certain "beautiful" look so I don't really see it myself. So I believe that they think so, but I just think I look like me, if that makes sense. I don't have the best body image (inherited from my mother) but I'm working on it. I have separate thoughts about my body and my face.. which also seems strange, but oh well!
I think I'm beautiful. I'm no supermodel, but I'm pretty! I really learned to appreciate my beauty after meeting my FI. He was the first man to make me feel gorgeous & then I just kind of grew to match his idea of me (if that makes sense). Now I walk around with a little swag in my step & I've changed my look over the years to look my best.... and I truly feel/fear like its all down hill from here lol.
I just read what I wrote & it sounds conceited! I would NEVER say that out loud! I swear :)
@recessionistaBride, LOL. I felt conceited writing mine, too! Why aren't we allowed to be honest with ourselves?! lol. We're the first to point out our faults (hellooo i started my post off with referring to my "fat days"!) but the last to admit we like things about ourselves it seems. Unless it's something we're "allowed" to admit. Like i have no problem admitting i'm smart. But I'm uncomfortable going "damn i look good tonight!"
Women are silly =]
I think I'm somewhat attractive, sometimes I think I'm really ugly and really dislike a lot of my features. Other times I think I look pretty good. It usually depends on my mood and if I had a chance to get ready, I hate feeling frantic and looking messy.
Crebre80- Exactly! You should hear my mom groan when I make a comment about myself.LMAO
I'm going to be honest. I really dislike my appearance. I think I am pretty, but I hate my weight. I was always happy with myself until I went to college. I'm 5'7" and 120 lbs and am a size 4. I was on a NCAA Division I varsity sport in college (I graduated almost 7 years ago) and as part of my sport, I was weighed by my coach in front of my entire team, including all of the guys on a weekly basis. It pretty much destroyed any confidence I ever had about myself. I will never forget the first time when I was on the scale, he announced my weight to everyone and said, well if your ass wasn't so big you would jump higher (did I mention I was only 110 lbs then?). When I was a junior, there was a girl who was a freshman who had to drop out of school after the end of the first semester to go into a rehab program for anorexia. She transfered to Yale instead, but in talking to her in years since, she was never the same.
Since then I have struggled. I have really bad issues with my weight. I know that my doctor standards I don't need to lose any weight, but I will never actually believe it. I always find faults with myself, especially when I look at myself in the mirror with no clothes on.
My fiance is wonderful and constantly tells me how beautiful I am, but he knows I have issues. He doesn't know the extent or how deep these issues go, but recently I broke down in tears in front of him because I am so scared to get pregnant after we get married. I want to have kids and be a mom, but the whole idea of getting pregnant and getting fat makes me almost physically ill.
I'm at the point where I think I actually may need to seek professional help when we actually start trying for a baby.
To make the matter worse, my mom is a firm believer in that a girl can never be too thin. She is 65 and weighs the same as she did when she graduated college -110 lbs.
Also, I live in LA, where everyone is plastic surgeried up and where zero is a size here. I also recently made it only a primetime TV gameshow on ABC that I am filming next month... in a spandex outfit competing for $50,000. I'm more concerned about how I will look on national television in spandex than I am at my own wedding.
I wish I could say that I was happy with the way that I look because I am happy with every other aspect of my life, but my weight pretty much overtakes my whole life.
When my skin is clear, I feel beautiful, but I have awful skin so alot of the time I don't feel very confident. Day to day I don't put a lot of effort into my looks (yea...I'm blaming it on being a college student) and I don't feel especially good. It doesn't help that I think I used to be very good looking and now I'm like 20 pounds heavier with worse skin.
mrs. louboutin: you are currently 5'7 and 120 lbs?! i bet you are stunningly beautiful!!!! wow i'd love to be 5'7 (i'm only 5'4 and more importantly 120 lbs is like a ballerina, right?!)
@Corgi - I am with you - confidence is beauty!
Maybe I have diluted self-confidence but I do think that I am beautiful!
I do think it has a lot to do with childhood upbringing though - little girls who were told they were pretty often grow up to be way more confident than those who don't. I see this a lot with my girlfriends and most of them are WAY prettier than I am now but they don't have a lot of confidence because they weren't the cutest kids in the world!
I'm generally happy with the way I look. I have a fantastic body but my face doesn't photograph well. I guess that's opposite of what a lot of women think about their appearance? I'm very happy with my weight, height, proportions, etc.. When I put on a dress or pair of heels, I think "Dang! I've got a good body!" But then I see pictures of me and...gaahh! The mirror lies! I guess I'm still trying to get out of what my sisters and I call the "squirrely stage," haha.
I feel more beautiful the older I get. I'll never look like a supermodel, but I'm happier being human.
Other people can make it hard, though. MinMan's family will call his SIL gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, etc., while I'm "very nice." Eh. Thanks. I guess I won the great personality award.
@crebre80 - thank you, you are so very sweet. I wish I felt the same way. It's ridiculous. My coach in college pretty much destroyed any confidence I have in my weight and I think at this point I need to actually talk to a professional to try to get over it.
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