Do you think your life would be better if you conceived naturally?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Aquaria:  I can see this being a touchy subject so I will tread carefully. For me personally, if I couldn’t conceive naturally than I would accept that. I don’t believe in god, but I would feel there is a reason for it – maybe I have bad genes, maybe a child wouldn’t be a good addition for my husband and I, maybe there is something I don’t understand – and leave it at that. 

My husband and I have decided that we will try to conceive when we are ready and if it doesn’t work out then we will just travel. We are content together and we don’t have a strong or desperate need for children. I’d be happy to spend the rest of my life with just him and he feels the same. 

I wouldn’t put our relationship through the stress and financial burden of conceiving a child scientifically and I also don’t want to be fussed with charting and making sex feel like a means to an end or an experiment. It will either happen for us or it won’t and we are okay with either outcome. 

Disclaimer: this is for ME and MY relationship. I don’t care what anyone else does and I respect their decision. Please don’t tag me repeatedly if you don’t agree. That’s cool – agree to disagree in advance. This is just for my own family and I don’t judge anyone who feels differently. I hope I get the same respect. 

Post # 4
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

i definitely think the whole process would have been less stressful when we didn’t know as much as we do and had to give it the old fashioned college try. but i think life would not have been better because those who couldn’t conceive had no other options… and i think that’s sad. i’ll trade ignorance for the possibility of having a child any day of the week.

Post # 6
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Conceiving is a means to an end. It doesn’t matter how you get there.

Post # 7
cherrypieBee
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

I think if it were like the old days where were weren’t pumping our bodies full of hormones for years and then expecting them to know what to do, that would be the ideal course. However, after a woman has been on birth control for over a decade, coming off and expecting to conceive naturally immediately without knowledge of what her natural fertile cycles look or feel like is a bit idealistic. Things are more complicated now. Charting gives a woman who has previously not had natural cycles for a LONG time an intimate window of understanding into the mechanism of her own body and what it may or may not be doing. It’s also a very simple process that takes less than 60 seconds a day, and can be very empowering– speaking from experience. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MrsPanda99:  Wow. Are you me? I seriously feel the same way.

If DH and I couldn’t get prego naturally, then we already talked about adopting a bunch of animals after we travel for a bit. 🙂 I am against in-vitro for myself – totally cool if others do it, and DH and I just don’t see ourselves adopting children.

Honestly, (please do not flame as it’s just my own assessment of myself) I personally think that I missed the boat on having kids despite only being 30. I mean, I give props to anyone above 30 having kids, b/c seriously – where do you find the energy? After working full-time and dealing with housework/my cat, I pass out on the couch at 9 pm. I’ve never felt so tired in my life. I think kids would be something that I were better suited for in my mid-20s.

Post # 9
Member
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Nope!  I’m happing with taking my hormones.

Post # 10
cherrypieBee
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

I also honestly think a lot of women, probably as a result of having been on birth control and avoiding pregnancy for a very long time, and without an understanding of a non-medicated cycle, don’t understand that they are only fertile a few days a month. This leads to a lot of ineffective TTC, which can be equally frustrating and disheartening for couples.

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsNewDay:  I will happily be a dog mama and travel the world. I also feel too old to have kids. That’s great that some people do but I don’t want to spend my retirement years with kids still in my basement or be so exhausted that I can’t even enjoy life. We will see the cards hold but neither of us is incredibly fussed about it.

I have never found a like-minded person about this topic before. At least we can go hide under a rock for safety together 😛 

Post # 12
Member
1947 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well in the old days, women got married when they were 18 because they didnt have opportunities to have a meaningful career.  They married men who were good providers and not so much because they wanted to find someone they loved and a life partner.  So they were usually TTC in their early twenties which is at peak fertility.  Now, women have the opportunity to get a higher education and launch successful careers, and we marry for love, so some don’t get married until their late twenties or well into their thirties.  By then your fertility has decreased and your remaining reproductive years are a lot less.  Hence the need for OPKs and what not.

 

Post # 13
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@megz06:  I agree this topic seems to be getting beat to death. 

 

@Aquaria:  Are you saying that people that have difficulty conceiving shouldn’t have children? Or you just think Ovulation Predictor Kits are unnecessary?

I think that if people want to become parents, they should go about that any way they like. I think every person using fertility methods would rather have conceived quickly and easily if given the choice!

Post # 14
Member
1947 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

And to add: I 100% think that conceiving via charting and kits is DEFINITELY still considered ‘naturally’? Not sure how you would think otherwise?

Post # 15
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Um, charting is naturally conceiving.  

Post # 16
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What the heck is with all the charting-bashers lately. Poo Poo to you!

I don’t see what’s so wrong with wanting to understand my body…

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