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Do you usually eat dinner with your significant other?

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships

 
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JuneBride_26June2010   26/June/2010  Indiana

ok - so lately this has been a conversation with me and my two bridesmaids...

first off - my matron of honor (one of the two, whom I speak of) - was having issues with her and huer husband and I tried giving her the best advice I could...ONE issue that seemed to come up is their diets. Now - being a person obsessed with my own diet and lifestyle, I can understand being VERY picky about the kind of food one eats...With them - she's on weight watchers and she said he tends to eat low-carb, high-protein - and he also wants to eat the same exact foods every single day and they NEVER eat dinner together at their dinner table.

They've been married 2.5 years and did live together before hand...but this is how it's always been. One very obvious suggestion I gave her was to find a comprimise and if nothing else at least eat TOGETHER at the dinner table, if not eat the same types of foods...I know this is something she said theat they are working on. :)

My other bridesmaid has been living with her boyfriend for a few years (no ring in sight, she's not the marrying kind...) and she said they NEVER EVER eat dinner together - nor do they eat the same types of foods - AND he was AGAINST her trying to keep a steady menu ready to know what to MAKE for dinner...(yeah, strange...)

ANYWHOO - I'm just curious if you all eat with your FI or husbands or if the both of you eat separately or if this has ever even BEEN an issue? I dunno - to me, it's just a little strange as - for me - being in a relationship means doing the same things - such as making dinner for one another and eating as a FAMILY.

My husband is great - even though he does not live a low-carb lifestlye like I do, he always eats what I make for dinner. Now - granted, I DO keep a menu on the fridge just so I know what to have ready the night before to thaw...and I'm also really getting into cooking so it's NOT like it used to be, fish sticks and tater tots (which, with low-carb, can't be anyways...). AND when he wants his potatoes - I keep reds on hand to make an extra side dish for him...But for us, it's just "right" or "natural" for us to go to work, come home, and I cook dinner for the both of us. (btw, it's not a whole matronly thing - it's more me obsessing over my food, lol - he USED to be the one to cook our dinners). But - even before I moved in with him - when we first started dating we always ate dinner together, if I was coming over that early, that is.

But I don't know - I just personally find it a little strange that a MARRIED couple and/or LIVING TOGETHER couple do not eat dinner together.

Again, my MOH and her husband are actually getting better at it - which is strengethening some of the strain in their relationship...but i know my other maid said it's just a huge issue with them. She wants to - he won't.

What are your thoughts on this?

 
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hotchildinthecity   June 12, 2010  Live in NYC, wedding in Albany, NY

We eat together pretty much every night.  Since we've been trying to save money for the wedding, we cook at home almost every night too.  We make a list of what we're going to eat every night so that someone can get it started if the other person is at school.  And just so I know what to take out to thaw.

Neither of us are on a diet of any kind, we just maintain a healthy lifestyle and eat pretty healthy as well.

Anyway, this setup is pretty boring but works for us now with the tight budget we're on.

 
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stephinPA   October 29, 2010  getting married in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania

I love, love, LOVE eating dinner at the table, with my FI.  I just feel as if it's our time to catch up with each other and see how the day was.  Sometimes though, we will eat in front of the TV.  We almost always eat together.  I watch what I eat more than he does, so it just depends on what we're eating. 

 
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Gilneas   October 10, 2010  Live in NJ, Marrying in NY

My fiance is a very picky and a not healthy eater.  If I don't make him dinner, he ends up eating chicken nuggets and french fries every single night.  The problem is - sometimes I end up making two separate dinner, a fiance-friendly and reasonably healthy one, and that one for me that is quite similiar but with vegetables and additions he doesn't like.  It's exhausting, and makes it hard for me to diet because I just want to cook ONE fiance-friendly meal.

It's tough.  We usually do eat dinner together, but we don't often sit at our dining room table.

 
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missjyc   9/18/10  macomb, michigan

we almost always eat together. i usually cook dinner and dont really have an appetite afterwards, but my FI insists that we eat together... so i do.

there's obvi a handful of times that we'll order out or eat leftovers and may not eat the same dish, but we try to sit down and eat together... our time to unwind after a long day's work...

even before we moved in together, eating dinner at his place or mine was our "datese" so i don't really understand people who don't do it... even tho it might be tedious... i think you should make time to eat together, even if it's different plates/diets. :)

 
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CorgiTales   Winter 2010/2011?  Columbus, Ohio

We don't live together but he is at my house 3-4 nights per week. When we're together, we always eat dinner together (although we eat in front of the tv). We both grew up in families who ate in front of the tv every night so it feels natural :) 

FI is not a picky eater, he has a list of things he hates but overall I'm much much pickier and I do the cooking so in general if I will eat it, he will. When we live together I think that we'll almost always eat together if one of us isn't working late or something, although I'm sure there will be some nights i'm too lazy to cook, make a sandwich, and tell him to fend for himself!

 
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ejs4y8   6/20/2009  STL

No, but we don't live together =]

We've talked about this, and honestly, we will eat together a couple nights a week, not every. Sometimes I plan on going to the gym at 630pm, which means I eat a snack, not dinner, before I go work out. He'll eat dinner, though, b/c he's not a 7pm work out kinda guy. Plus, now that I'm in grad school, I don't have time to set aside 30 minutes to eat. I cook dinner and then I eat it while I'm watching my lectures. We will probably have dinner together Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Otherwise, I doubt we will--I have too much going on to sit down and eat dinner. Plus, we eat very different foods. Me, healthy, him, less so. I'm only supposed to have a protein and a veggie at dinner and he *must* have his carbs.

I'm trying to fit in work, school, and photography sessions. When he comes home from the Army...he has no job. So uh, he's gonna hafta deal or do some serious helping out! Now, if he makes dinner AND packs my lunch for me (with the things my nutritionist says i can eat, not whatever he throws together), I'd be able to spend time eating dinner with him. I dunno, i don't have time to sit and eat...i almost never do that myself!

I was recently lamenting to a friend that I simply don't have time for a husband, haha. =]

 
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budgetbeautiful   9/26/09  Fredericksburg, VA

We eat dinner together every day. He's the cook in the family.

 
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starcharades   12/31/11  New York

We do eat together every night. Not always paying attention to each other (sometimes have to get hw done) but we do try to eat together. Even when one of us it late because of classes or work we will wait...sometimes till 10pm. It's just nice. :)

 
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honeybun   Sept., 2010  Roanoke, VA

Hardly ever. FI works nights and I get off at around 6 p.m. so unless he happens to be off that day, he's never home when I get home and eat.

 
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Melissabegins   December 12, 2009  Jacksonville/Jamaica

We eat together every day!  But usually in front of the TV :-O

 
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artbee   02/28/2010  palm harbor, fl

we eat different foods, but we usually eat together. my fi has crohns so he can't eat all sorts of things, i tried cooking for him at first but he gets a tummy ache when eating anything, i was sick of him getting a tummy ache off of my food, even though i knew it was him, so we went back to him eating what he's used to eating (out). or we'll find different food at home, simple things, i'll rarely make a big meal because it'll just end up going to waste.

 
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bvig   September 2009  wedding in NJ

We cook and eat together and that time together is a big part of our relationship.

But I have a friend who's married and her and her husband act more like roommates when it comes to eating - they usually cook their own meals and just eat whenever they're individually hungry and they have a great relationship too. 

 

 
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lilyfaith   6/24/2012  Lakeview, Chicago

We don't a have a dinner table, or any sort of kitchen table - teeny tiny apartment! - but we do eat dinner together. If it's the same thing often depends on what mood we're in, and how much money we have to spend. We often end up being thrifty and each throwing together something from the leftovers in the fridge. Other times, we will actually make something together, but those are usually our splurge nights. 

We tend to watch TV when we eat. I know, bad us! But it's relaxing after a long day!

 
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msswan     

We actually really don't eat together during the week. Mr. Swan works very long and very unpredictable hours.  Sometimes he's home, but he's usually still at work during dinner time, so he gets dinner at work (they pay, so it's not a big deal). During the weekends we eat dinner together. I usually graze throughout the day until, while he eats multiple meals. Also my main dinner is Sunday dinner, where I try to do an extra special meal, and which we enjoy together. When I do cook, he eats whatever I make. No complaints (he's a smart man, hee hee!).

 
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lopeze4183   September 12, 2010  Brooklyn, NY

Yep, we definetely eat together every night. It's our catching up, vegging out in front of the tv while we eat time. LOL. We trade off on who does the cooking though. We do have balanced diets and eat veggies and some kind of protein every day. :)

 
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JoonBee   06/2010  

The default expectation is that we eat together, and it is our understanding that if one of us can't eat together for one reasy or another, he/she would give a heads up.  We live together and I try to have dinner ready by the time he gets home.  We are also trying to save money now so we have cut down on eating out and I've been trying to cook more. (He loves to cook, but doesn't know how, and I don't like to cook, but I know how, so I end up being the one who cooks.) 

He's also a picky eater and i just adapt to what he eats.  I don't want to cook two different meals for both of us each night!

I've grown up in a family where we always eat dinner together, and I think dining together is a time to bond.  I'd feel weird if we don't eat together since we live together.

 
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penga   7.31.2010  SF Bay Area / Oahu

We eat together..I make dinner and he does the dishes, I love our arrangement..:)

 
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rabbit   09/03/2010  Milwaukee

We eat at least one meal together everyday, usually dinner. For breakfast he's usually up and gone before I even wakeup (although i am trying to change that) and he never eats breakfast because it makes him sick (werid, I know). For lunch we eat apart because I am usually at home while he is at work or in class (yay for both my work and classes starting later!). But for dinner? He and I will hold off for hours on end so that we can eat together. Monday, Thursday and Friday nights I often don't get home until 9pm or later, but I can always count on there being a hot meal either in the works or started the moment I get home. It is extremely rare that we ever eat dinner apart.

We used to have 2 very different diets- I was "healthier" and he loved anything fried or unhealthy, but in the last month or so we've been moving closer together. He's on a whole, natural foods kick- wanting nothing artifical, restauranty or fast-foody, and I've started a new diet which is plant based with lots of vegetables and balanced grains and protein. He wants to lose the 40lb he put on in our years together so he can fit into his favorite pants and I want to lose the 100lb I put on (OMG, its embarressing to even type that! At least I've already lost 35lb! yay! just 65lb more to go....).

 
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Tulip61110   June 2010  Philadelphia

We almost always eat together.  Usually in front of the TV though.  I don't think it's a big deal, since we find other time to talk and catch up on the details of the day.

 
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JuneBride_26June2010   26/June/2010  Indiana

wow - very fast responses! seems like, for the most part, everyone is in the same boat! I TOTALLY undersatnd couples that don't have the same schedule and one works much later than the other. I also understand the whole eating in front of the TV thing (we sometimes do this, but normally eat at our small dining room table)... :D

AND I can also understand possibly eating somewhat different IF dietary needs are the issue...BUT I just still don't get - when you're both home at the same time - not wanting that time to be together and eat together (even if it's different dishes) to even just sit down, relax and unwind at the end of the day. Like I said with my MOH and her husband, they're really working on this aspect (and even somewhat eating the same foods, but not always) - more just enjoying each other's company at night instead of coming home, eating quickly and plopping in front of the tv for the rest of the night.

I think - now that I've read all your responses - it really is more of the "bonding" thing for me that bothers me that they weren't/don't eat together.

 
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Minutiae     Central PA

I'm all about eating together...too bad he's A. moving out this weekend, and B. doesn't get home from work until 6:30 on a good day (it can be anywhere from 7 to 11). I'm used to eating at 5:30 every day like clockwork, because that's when my family always sits down to eat together; his crazy changeable schedule isn't working with my internal clock, so I wait as long as I can until I HAVE to eat.

I consider eating dinner with your family a sort of sacred ritual of married life. With everyone in the room, electronics turned off (that includes not answering the phone if it rings), and manners turned on. It's nice to have that constancy. I really appreciate that my parents did that for us now. My man and I are generally health-conscious, healthy eaters, he's an excellent cook, and I'm learning, so I'd like to make this a part of our life eventually. :)

 
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FallFlowers     Maryland

We try to eat together as much as possible.  However, sometimes with his job it is not possible (i.e. if he's working at night or if he gets home HOURS after I get home).  It it's a situation where he gets home much later than my tummy starts rumbling, I'll go ahead and eat.  He'll eat when he gets home but I'll pour a cup of iced tea and sit with him while he eats so we can still enjoy that time to sit down together and catch up.

 
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missrain   January 2, 2010  Austin

We eat together every night, and on the weekends we eat pretty much every meal together. We both love to cook, so we take turns, and we try to discuss meals for the week on Saturday or Sunday so we know what's coming. I am pickier about new things, and he is pickier about vegetables, so we also struck a compromise that I'll try his new things if he'll try my veggies. Most often, though, we'll give each other choices. Such as: would he prefer broccoli or green beans with dinner? Or would prefer this fish or that fish?

Regardless of what we eat, though, there's nothing like sitting down to eat together and discussing our days. I'm glad we will start off our marriage already in that habit!

 
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hotchildinthecity   June 12, 2010  Live in NYC, wedding in Albany, NY

We also eat pretty late at night as well.  Because of our schedules (work, school, and training), we rarely eat before 8:30 or 9:00.  This is pretty much the norm in NYC though.  What's funny is we both grew up in families that ate at 5:30 every night.  I can't even imagine eating that early now!

 
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MrsCox2B   April 2011  Delaware

I eat dinner with my FH every single night. I LOVE to cook and often cook about 4-5 a week. (the rest is leftovers or take out). The issue is, he works until 7pm at night and works an hr away. so we usually eat about 8pm every night. (I have gained about 10lbs since he has started working there (3yrs). He keeps telling me to cook dinner when I get home and just make a plate for him, but the traditional italian woman in me cant do it. I must eat with my mans. Its our bonding time. Its the time of the day where we get together and recap on our day.

I love eating dinner with him, its our way to connect after a long day of work and school. I wouldnt give it up for the world.

 
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MissAsB   June 6, 2009  Huntsville, AL

Right now, we don't eat together.  I have class every night Monday through Thursday so I end up leaving the house before the husband even gets home.

 
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sunshinebride   Summer 2010  California

We eat together every night, but our menu is kind of tired.  I prefer to eat much healthier than he does, but I also don't know how (or frankly, like) to cook.  That's one small thing I'm looking at changing for our marraige.  If I cook, I can make whatever I want, and if it's good, I won't hear too many complaints about it being too healthy :) 

 
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mskalinin   Sept. 12, 2009  North East

We usually cook, eat and clean up together. One night he will be the orchestrator of the meal and delegate tasks to me (like chopping onions, or getting him spices or things he needs from the fridge). The next night roles might be reversed. We are usually both in the kitchen throughout the entire cooking of the meal, even if one is not actively involved, we'll use the time to chat.

We each have certain meals we have become pro at. He is excellent with pan-frying and stir-frying. His salmon is to die for. I make really great roast chicken and beef, and we both love my Thai curries. We both have become good with the slow cooker.

We almost always eat at the table, but sometimes if there is something on we want to watch we will eat in front of the TV. Clean up involves clearing the dishes from the table. I usually do this as well as putting left overs away. He usually does the dishes. We have been trying to use this time to practice my French, too. Its really a great quality time together.

I come from a family that did not eat together most nights. My dad would prepare a meal and leave it simmering on the stove or sitting in the oven, and we would all just help ourselves. We had many different schedules because of sports and band, etc. So the way we do it now is still pretty novel to me. My parents have a pretty good relationship, btw, even though they don't normally eat together.

 
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hotchildinthecity   June 12, 2010  Live in NYC, wedding in Albany, NY

@sunshinebride: Try Ellie Kreiger's recipes on Food Network.com and her books.  I make her recipes all the time and even my picky sister had no idea the chili was "healthy."  I made her pasta puttanesca last night and my Italian FI loved it!

http://www.amazon.com/Food-You-Crave-Luscious-Recipes/dp/1600850219/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257437731&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/So-Easy-Luscious-Healthy-Recipes/dp/0470423544/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257437731&sr=8-2

 
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LorennaL   LorennaL  Boston, MA

We actually eat almost every meal together.  We work less than a block away from each other, so we eat breakfast together, walk to work together, meet up for lunch, usually walk home together, and eat dinner together.  Sometimes scheduling conflicts come up and we have to eat on separate schedules, but most of the time, we alter our schedules to make it so we can eat together.

 
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Jessie516   May 16, 2009  Ann Arbor, MI

We eat dinner together every night.  I HATE cooking so The Hubs does all the cooking in our house.  I'm lucky because he's very health conscious.  He has diabetes, so he really has to be careful about what he eats and how much.  Because of that, most of our dinner recipes come from Cooking Light or other healthy sources. 

 
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melv0802   09.18.10  New Jersey

fiance and i don't live together, but whenever he is over, or when we're both off, we always eat together, at the kitchen table, in front of the tv, whatever...we both work night shift and at the same hospital (different units though), so when we get off work and are able to, we like to have breakfast, either at ihop/diner, or will go back to my apartment to cook something..as far as dinner goes, i'm not much of a chef, so fiance is the cook, i do help though;)

it's nice to have dinner together, like everyone else said u get to unwind, and catch up during that time..i can't wait till we're married and can have dinner together every night..!

 
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Mermaid1082   9/4/10  St Louis, MO

We cook and eat together everyday, except for the rare exception.  We also menu plan together so there is mutual input on what's for dinner, so it's almost always the same thing.

 
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Valhalla   June 26, 2010  Vancouver, British Columbia

Eating together is a huge deal for me, as it was something I never did with my family growing up. FI always ate together with his family. I really enjoying taking this time of day to just chat, enjoy delicious food together, and unwind. FI often helps me prepare dinner in the kitchen, and sometimes we crack open a bottle of wine to sip on while cooking. I usually plan the meals though, becuase I really enjoy recipe planning.

 
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JoJo Bananas   8/21/2010  Santa Cruz, CA

Growing up, we always ate dinner together no matter what.  It was a time for bonding, relaxing, unwinding and sharing what had happened that day.  All of that still holds true for me.  I am thankful that my FH had that too when he was growing up.  I think it is very important for every family.

 
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CarrieAnne   March 13, 2010  Wine Country

Growing up, we ALways ate together, no matter how crazy the schedules.  If the FI and I will be home at even remotely the same time, we'll make plans to eat together.  Sometimes that means working out in a different order or eating some fruit to tide us over, but I love sharing meals with him (even in front of the tv).

 
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peanutlovespumpkin   9-18-10  Los Angeles

we cook and eat together every night, unless we stop off at Chipotle or I have plans with the girls.  We're usually in front of the TV when we eat though - about once a week we'll have "date night" and sit at the table with a candle and a bottle of wine :)

 
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wonderlanded   2 October 2010  London

We eat together most nights -- every night that both of us are home, really. If one of us doesn't get home til, say, 11pm the other one will eat alone. But mostly, it's one of us cooking with the other one hanging out in the kitchen (or, sometimes, relaxing).

I grew up in a family that ate together every night at the table -- it's important familiy time, to me.

 

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