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We got a lot of money, but we didn't really register for a lot (because we had most things already) and we didn't have showers or anything. People will always bring gifts to showers I think, not money.
We got more gift cards than money or gifts! Mainly to places we had registered at, but we also got a lot of random ones from places we didn't register at.
My FI is Vietnamese, so money is the traditional gift. I think my family members and our friends will be the only ones shopping off of the registries!
Money is apparently the norm around here. I don't even think we'll be registering (which makes me sad) because it is so expected. In fact, FI's dad said something to the effect that we should invite a lot of people and do the food ourselves so that we can rake it in. *sigh*
i don't have a lot left on my registry- after an engagement party and a shower- so i'm hoping for money too! apparently the ladies at my shower were saying that i need to add to my registry, but i just don't need much more stuff. it's because they've already been so generous and bought it all for us!
At the wedding that I have attended we always give money as gifts. Actual gifts are given at the bridal show that is given approximately 2-3 months before the wedding.
I think it depends on family and regional traditions. In my family (Chicago-area), the standard is gift for the shower, check for the wedding. In my fiance's family (Deep south), the standard is little gift for the shower and big gift for the wedding. Cash for them is only given during the money dance, which is something completely unheard of where I'm from.
Gotcha, thanks ladies. My whole family is pretty much from Alabama & FI's from the Florida Panhandle. My family are Southern Baptists. So I guess we'll see what tradition is for them!
We had plenty of stuff left on our registry after my shower, and we got mostly cash at the wedding. I wasn't sure what to expect either way, but after the fact, I heard from both families that money is the more typical gift.
Our of 75 guests, we got maybe five actual registry gifts. The rest were envelopes with checks/cash.
@Miss Chapstick: If you don't mind me asking, for 75 guests...how much $$ did you receive? We're hoping to have around 100.
I don't think it's all that uncommon. I've known people to have registries, but still get monetary gifts.
BF's cousin's wedding was 90k... they got 30k in monetary gifts. I wish I knew enough people to end up with 30k after all was said and done...
Whoa...30K in monetary gifts. I need some new friends! :)
We registered for everything, and still lucked out with about $3K in cash. We had about 180 guests, though, and I felt everyone was extremely generous to us.
I'm with you, crosisng my fingers for lots of cash at the wedding. Hopefully those out of staters won't bring a gift! After our honeymoon costs we'd be eating ramen for weeks if we don't get cash!
I grew up in a European family (italian) and weve always Only given money... I dont ever remember seeing a single gift at anyones wedding.... We normally would register for our shower, and get mostly gifts there.... :)
@Lees: I actually don't remember the total amount! Haha. But I can tell you that the average amount for my side was $100 per person, and the average amount for my husband's side was $50 per family.
We also received a lot of money as gifts, but surprisingly, we received a good amount of actual gifts. The hubby and I love to give a little personal gift as well as money. Something that is personal to the couple...like a photo with their wedding date and names. Another friend, we got a custom made sign with their wedding date and family name. Just something that isn't the norm to help them remember our gift. I think it's cute :o)
We probably got money from about 75% of our guests and the rest gifts.
ETA: Some guests got us both a gift and some cash in a card.
Like Lili123 said, I'm Italian and never even realized people gave gifts and not "envelopes" at weddings. We're registered, but I always thought of the registry as something used for engagement/shower gifts. My FI comes from a family that sometimes gives gifts at weddings so I assume we'll get some on the day, but not many.
I think it depends on the kind of guests you're having. My friend told everyone that they could get her whatever gift they wanted to get for her wedding and she got all cash, because her guests consisted of people who were young professionals or retired couples with money, all of whom were too busy to buy actual gifts.
On the other hand, my fiance's cousin specifically emphasized on her invitations that she preferred cash, and she got mostly gifts that weren't even on her registry! That's because her guests consisted mainly of relatives and family who didn't have much money or were too cheap. Needless to say, since that was my FI's cousin, these are the kind of guests I'll be having too, so I don't expect much from them. I'll be lucky if they even bring us gifts at all.
Actually, yeah, I was suprised how much money we got. I heard from past brides and family and friends that I might get some crappy gifts.
I had a big table for gifts thinking people would bring gifts but I only got about 5 wrapped gifts. I did put on my registry that since we live in another state that it would be very helpful if large gifts were sent to our home address. We got about 5 boxes when we came home from people who sent us stuff. But otherwise, almost everyone gave us a card with money.
My family is vietnamese so it is customary to give money because they say it's good luck for the marriage. But I got quite a bit a money from non-vietnamese people too.
I invited 130 people and got about $8000 in money. I was very surprised how much we got. That alone paid for half our wedding.
we got a lot of monetary gifts, gift cards, and registry items. I have heard our registry was lame (thanks, MOH's mom! haha) so people did venture off and get us random neat things, like handmade bowls or local pottery. I love that!
I think it's a regional thing. I'm from the south where people like to buy gifts off the registery but my fiance is from the NE, where they alllllll give cash. It's almost taboo in the NE to give a real gift! Also, it could be generational where the older crowd still wants to help the couple "set up house" while the younger crowd knows that money is easier to give -- and receive. :)
From what I've heard, people give gifts for the shower, money for the wedding (which I think someone else said as well). It seems like big gift tables aren't common in my area; people generally bring cards with money in them and give them to one of the parents or put them in the cardbox.
my family is italian and hubbys is greek. the folks ALWAYS give cash but for me, if the couple havent registered (i prefer getting them something they wanted) then its cash in an envelope
Hmmmm I am not too sure the weddings that I have seen people don't give gifts or cards (it's crazy ridiculous) but I already have my bm's asking me whose doing the shower etc (wth!!) so i think i may have to register for more things. i also think that the guests who travel will usually bring money in lieu of a gift because of ease of travel.
I don't personally know anyone who gives cash gifts for any occasion. I always shop for tangible gifts for weddings, birthdays, etc.
In Spain they always give money. I haven't been to that many American weddings, but the ones that I've gone to it seems 50/50 money gifts and material gifts.
On the flipside, as a guest (and Italian) I usually use this rule: enough to cover my meal and enough so that the couple can get themselves a little gift. I assume the meal is 120-150$ (which also includes the cost of sending an invite, favor...) and give a little extra. So when me and my fiance attend a wedding, we usually give 300$ as a couple, although I've given 200$ if it's been a rough month or I'm not as close to the couple.
@Swedish Berry that's the general rule in Spain too. If it's a close friend you give enough to cover your food (many times you know how much it costs!) and a little something. If it isn't someone close then you give the costs of your food and drinks.
Wow, we didn't receive nearly as much as the rest of you! I didn't expect much, but I figured what we got was pretty standard. After reading this, I'm guessing it wasn't.
Laylabelle - it's a regional thing. Here in NJ we follow the NYC/East Coast rule but in other areas you're lucky if you get $50!
I remember being shocked (and not in a good way) when my Aunt & Uncle from MI gave me $50 and their son and his wife gave me $20 for my first wedding.
We got 1 gift of a gorgeous framed print and all the rest were monetary gifts with maybe 3 gift cards. That is about what we were expecting though. As a matter of fact, when I walked into our reception site in the am to decorate and saw a 6ft "gift table" set up I asked them to take it down because I knew we wouldn't need it.
We got total a whopping $100 in cash. And only like 1/2 of our guests got us presents.
we are using a depositagift.com cash gift registry and our guests seem to be enjoying contributing to our honeymoon and home redecoration. it's only the beginning, but we have gotten very nice gifts toward our goals.
I've never heard of anyone giving or receiving cash gifts. No one in either of our families, or friends for that matter, are familiar with the practice as they all give tangible gifts from a registry instead.
Also, there is no way unless you are paying the catering and venue bills yourself to have any clue how much it costs per person. Guests are not made privy to this information at all.
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I've done my registry, but was wondering if a lot of people usually get a good amount of money for their wedding gift as well. We just paid off our cruise a few minutes ago - a total of $1044.00 & it def. put a dent in the bank! LOL thank God for taxes & FI working overtime!!
& I'm also hoping we're going to get a good bit of money for a wedding gift. Did you? or did you know someone that did after not asking for it in any way?