OMG I have the best/worst interview story ever. It’s long, but I PROMISE you bees, this is 100% true!
A few years ago, I want to say December 2010, I found an online ad looking for a receptionist at a chiropractic/massage/acupuncture clinic. I was working at Blockbuster Canada, and some of us could see the writing on the wall. I wanted a job with regular hours and no nights, and, since they closed at 9, I thought that would be perfect!
I applied, wrote an amazing cover letter after researching the clinic (NOT WELL ENOUGH), and got an interview! So I showed up to the clinic with extra shoes because you couldn’t wear yours inside (winter in Canada), totally prepared. The first interview went really well. The interviewer was the chiropractor’s wife, and we really hit it off. I was able to use real life examples of how dedicated I am, how responsible, etc. I found out the job was really for an office manager, which was great because that’s more of what I was looking for anyway. Even though I had to be interviewed behind the reception desk because she was understaffed, it went well. So I got a second interview to meet the chiro. The only problem was I didn’t know what to discuss in terms of salary, because I’d been researching reception wages, not manager rates.
I showed up really psyched 5 minuites eary, and had to wait 20 minuites because there was a mix up or they were busy- I don’t know. It wasn’t ideal. I sat in the waiting room like a patient. Finally, I was showed into the chiro’s office where he was sitting eating from a platter of Christmas cookies. His wife squeezed into the tiny office with us and, after it was clear he was a bit busy, she tried to fill the silence by talking about me and asking me the odd interview question. He had to step out to attend a client so it was me and his wife. Then she had to go do some acupuncture and I sat there alone for a while until their teenage daughter came in to type up some angry friend letter in all caps all the while completely ignoring me. Then the wife came back and had to drive the daughter some where, so I offered to come back. Yeah, it was dumb, but I knew BBV would be closing and I wanted to start somewhere. It’s a job and I really liked his wife. I left for an hour to go shopping.
When I returned, it was finally time for the interview! Chiro started out by looking over my cover letter, shaking it, and saying, “This is very well written… but it means nothing.” Then he proceeded to more tell me about the clinic, his favorite previous employee, what he didn’t like about his current office manager, and other things. He told me he was getting back into politics and brought out a clipboard related to the new political party he was starting. I swear, I thought he was going to make me join! (I will now mention that he’s been i found guilty of professional misconduct by the Chiropractor’s Association in our province three times, drives drunk, etc. He was kicked out of a major political party of general douchebaggery. No, I didn’t research HIM enough.)
He told me that he likes to smoke up in the office, always outside, and works on patients stoned. He tried and failed to do a coin trick during the interview. He asked if I grew up on a farm, and when I said ‘Yes,” he told me he thought people from farms were better than city people and worked harder and then we had an awkwad pause. He left for a minuite and ran back, dropped the clinic’s manual in my lap, and asked if I knew who wrote it. I did, so he went on to say how amazing she’d been, how she went to his and his wife’s house to plant flowers, and now that she’d started having kids, she was crazy or something. I don’t remember the exact quote, but he thought wanting a bunch of kids was silly. He wanted a woman who wouldn’t keep track of her hours… I say woman because I don’t think he would have interviewed a man for the position. He wanted an office manager bordering on a slave.
He told me that before working with Jane Doe (a different woman,not the former golden office manager), he didn’t think men and women could be friends without wanting to get into eachother’s pants, but he and Jane were just friends and would drink a beer together with their only other employee every friday and never wanted to get into eachother’s pants. But that was back when the clinic had shorter hours and was just getting started. He kept saying “get into eachother’s pants.”
He started talking about smoking weed and drinking again, showed me the sexist t-shirt he was going to give to a client, a small bottle of tequilla, and asked if I was ok with that sort of thing in the workplace, so I said yes because, quite frankly, I needed to GTFO but I was unwilling to turn my back on him. Plus I was in a headspace that left me very disoriented and confused. I changed to subject to the clinic itself, so he took me out to the reception area, showed me where stairs used to me, pretended to walk down the imaginary stairs, and asked me when I could start.
I basically ended up accepting the job to GTFO, and then he made his visibly uncomfortable wife make out with him then he gave me a big hug. I left and called the next day to say I wouldn’t be taking the job after all. My friend was pretty sure he was looking for a mistress.