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We are going to wait to find out until the baby is born at least for the first one.
You should put up a poll!
We found out. My main issue was (and will be for the nex too) that I love pink. If I were to have a girl (which I am), I would not have been happy having neutral colors everywhere, I want pink!
I want to find out, but would keep it a secret from everyone else. That way, I can go shopping for all the cute clothes and we can narrow down a name, leaving all the neutral onesies and stuff for everyone else to get. I figure when we get pregnant, it will be pretty obvious to everyone fairly soon that we're expecting (pretty hard to hide that baby bump!), but the sex of the baby is something that can be for the two of us to share.
i'm not pregnant, but FI & have have had this talk. we want to wait to find out. i think it will be really hard not to have them tell you if they keep asking at ultrasounds, so we plan on telling them we don't want to know & that they please not ask us as we don't want to give in to temptation! FI wants to be the one to announce it, that will be his job, i'll push it out & he can tell me what it is, lol! i wonder if we could switch, his job sounds better=)
@MrsE.ToBe : My OB doesn't have any ultrasounds after 20 weeks (which is when you find out the sex) unless there's a problem, so if you say no to knowing then, you don't really get another chance to find out.
I am an extreme planner. I think I would have such anxiety if I didn't know because then everything wouldn't be able to be planned out completely LOL
For those of you who don't want to find out, make sure the doctors, nurses, and all the staff know this and ask them not to provide any leading information. My parents didn't want to find out with their first child but everyone just kept telling her the baby was a linebacker so she ended up praying that it was a boy lol
@artbee: interesting. the drs around here all seem to do them more frequently than that. i'm sure it depends on a lot of other factors, like my bff who had twins had TONS of ultrasounds.
Absolutely. I couldn’t imagine not finding out. I’m a planner and I’ll need to have the nursery, clothes and what not all done way ahead of time. The whole gender neutral thing does nothing for me. My FSIL is pregnant now and they’re not finding out. I personally think it’s annoying but to each their own (it’s their kid, what does it matter what I think). Gender neutral stuff is just not as cute as little pink dresses or little blue onesies with trains all over them .
Either way you look at it, most gender neutral options are more boyish than they are girlish. I would not be happy having an all green nursery for a little girl (but then again pinks also my favorite color). Our friends wanted to find out the sex of their baby but she wasn’t cooperating at the ultrasounds so they weren’t able to. Their nursery was much more suited for a boy than it was a girl. They’ve since added some more girly aspects but those are all things that could have been done long before the baby was born had they been able to find out.
I found out with my son!!
Everyone always said that we ruined the surprise - but how? It was still a surprise to us...it just happened 20 weeks earlier and we we're able to prepare better!
I wasnt able to wait, we found out as soon as we could. But i have 2 friends that had babies in the past 3 months and one friend had twins and did not find out until delivery and the other had one and she waited until delivery. Both did neutral nuseries. I am such a planner that i could not wait to figure out what kind of nursery to plan for.
Actually, nowadays MORE people are choosing to find out beforehand. There are so few surprises left once you become an adult, why ruin this one? I didn't and never would find out.
Due to the extremely high chance that if it we had a girl she'd develop some form of cancer we wanted to find out so we could prepare ourselves. If that wasn't part of the equation I would have liked to have kept it a secret.
We will absolutely find out. I'm a planner and will have to know ahead of time. It is just my nature.
And I agree with the PP who said it is still just as much of a surprise whether you find our at a 20 week ultrasound or at birth. You can just be more prepared with one option over the other.
We found out ahead of time and I'm very glad we did. I am a HUGE planner! Very very very type A and wanted to be able to prepare both mentally and with the shopping too of course :)
Wombat is nicknamed Wombat because we have no idea. It's fun for us and keeps us guessing and talking about whether we'll have a boy or girl.
We aren't finding out. We call our baby Baby Bear (We're Mama and Papa Bear b/c we snore.lol Had those names before I was pregnant.)
We have the nursery all together, except for the crib, which is waiting to be shipped. I was indifferent on being Team Green (it was his idea) but the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. Plus it makes people upset when I tell them.LMAO I don't like when people act like we're blowing in the wind with planning, which isn't true because like I said, everything is together, just waiting for this darn crib which is moving quite slow!LOL
Also being Tean Green, I hope we get the useful stuff instead of all the cute clothes since no one wants to buy neutral. :)
we want to be surprised. FBIL and FSIL did it and it was so worth sitting in that waiting room and having him come in and say "she's beautiful"...
very emotional!
We aren't TTC yet, but I have always known I would want to find out the sex as soon as possible. I also really want a girl, and like you I would need to start coping with the *slight* disappointment of having a boy right away. Only slight, because I want a boy too, but if I had to choose between all girls and all boys I would definitely go with all girls :)
I picked "we would find out, but not tell anyone else" because I have read all sorts of awesome benefits of other people not knowing the sex--i.e., you don't get as much useless garbage--frilly dresses or tiny tuxes that the baby will grow out of after a month--because people think it's cute. Instead, you get stuff that will be useful regardless of the sex of the child :)
I am not preggers, but someday when I am I want it to be a suprise!
I'm not pregnant either and as much as I'd like to think that I would wait (there is something SO exciting about that) I just really don't think I'm patient enough. Plus, if I find out then I can focus on gender specific names, pre-buy clothes and do some decorating with a specific sex in mind. I'm a planner, what can I say?
We will definitely find out - we are both total Type A planners, and I will want to know. However, if we are having a girl, I may not tell many people (I am looking at you, gramdma!) because I don't want a ton of pink stuff.
We also have to find out for my husband. He is obsessed with having a boy (I personally think he would be a better dad to a girl and he will obviously love the kid no matter what...), so I want him to have a while to get used to it if we do have a girl. :o)
We found out, we were still surprised. Pregnancy is long so it was like a little treat of information we got along the way and I liked being able to call her a she instead of 'it' or 'baby'. The surprises for me when she was born were plenty still. Who will she look like and who's features will she have, will she recognize us, will she breastfeed well.
We didn't find out; I think we'll stay Team Green for all of our future pregnancies, too. It was really fun. :) I had some extra ultrasounds later in my pregnancy, but I just reminded the ultrasound tech at the beginning that we did not know the sex, and she was great about keeping mum. My doctor and the whole office was super excited for us, since they don't see many "secrets" any more.
As far as planning goes, well, I knew we'd being doing gender neutral everything no matter what, since we plan on having more kids. That way we can just hand everything down instead of rebuying for the next one(s). So not knowing the sex didn't hinder my planning in any way. Plus, Addie got a million cute, girly clothes after she was born, so I think I got the best of both worlds!
I'm a type A planner but I most definitely do NOT want to find out before the baby is born. I think that is one of life's great surprises and after all that hard work, I want my surprise! As for planning, I despise the idea of painting a baby's room in pink or blue so the nursery will be decorated in neutral colors anyway. And personally, I can't stand when people find out the gender, assign a name, and then refer to the baby by that name for the remainder of the pregnancy. Once the baby actually arrives, I'm just like ho hum, that's nice, I already know all the details anyway so not a whole lot of excitement. But that could just be me!
As one of my pregnant best friends said the other day, if you are hoping for one gender or another, it's a lot easier to be disappointed finding out it's the other gender at the 20 week ultrasound and put a bit of a damper on the rest of the pregnancy; however, if you find out when the baby is actually born, there is not likely to be any disappointment as you're going to be so enamoured with that gorgeous little face that you'll completely forget you wanted the other sex.
@ Oribel013690 -- I alwalys wondered why parents would find out for themselves but refuse to tell anyone around them. A woman in my office did that, and at the time I thought it was a little (no offense) selfish. BUT, now I see your explanation, and it totally makes sense. We'll probably still tell people, since I can't keep secrets, but I hope they don't give us a whole bunch of useless gender-based crap that will only get used once.
@Ree723: I agree. People ask if I want a boy or girl and I say either. I know when I see the baby that's kicking me wiggling when he/she eats ice cream or chocolate milk and making me breathless, I won't care if it's a girl or boy!
We found out - I don't understand the reasoning that it's ruining one of life's only remaining surprises...there's already going to be so much excitement when he's born, so why not spread it around a little and have a surprise halfway through the pregnancy?
Our thoughts on it, anyway...
As I said, we're going to know, but not tell anyone. But I don't think we're going to tell anyone that we know - that way they don't try to sneak it out of us. And even though we'll know, I think I'm still leaning toward a more gender-neutral nursery. I really like the look of light green walls with chocolate brown accents. Or Pooh Bear decor. Which would then still work great for baby #2 if it's a different sex than baby #1.
There is no way in hell I would be able to wait nine months. I don't want gender neutral stuff, I don't want to think of two names, I don't want to call the baby 'it' for nine months because saying 'he or she' everytime takes too long.
Not only did I find out, I cheated on how soon I could know. The doctor said 19-21 weeks, so I insisted on 19 weeks even though the lady scheduling the ultrasound tried to make me wait until 20 weeks. On top of that, my doctor insists on counting pregnancy from last period, even though multiple early U/S point towards me being about a week behind. So, I was actually only 18 weeks when I went in for the anatomy scan. I'm such a rebel that way.
I didn't really want to find out, but after shopping around I found all the gender neutral stuff to be so limited and boring and I did not want to wait till after the baby was born to have to shop. Plus, my daughter REALLY wanted to find out what kind of sibling she was having- so we ended up finding out we were having a girl.
I have no patience and I can't keep secrets! So yes, we will find out and will tell everyone.
Team Green here! I am 32 weeks and I have had 8 ultrasounds..with still more scheduled. I just remind them each time that I go in that we don't know the sex. It's been fun, and can't wait for the "It's a..." annoucement in the delivery room. My DH admits he would have like to have know so I think for the next one we'll find out.
@LindsayJeff: I'm 33 weeks and having a ton of u/s, yet you've had more than me. I'm kind of surprised. Hope everything goes well.
@TheFutureMcBride: thanks! it's was a rough first 2 trimesters, but from all they have seen (i refused an amnio), everything looks like s/he will be perfect. At this point, the follow ups are looking more for signs of pre eclampsia.
I have been following your story, and can't wait to hear about Wombat's arrival :)
I've had two friends that wanted a surprise and the doctor accidentally told them!
I'm way too much of a planner myself and I don't want my doctor to tell me not to look at the screen, I want to see my baby. I'll find out as soon as I can . :)
I can understand if you want to know ahead of time. Although, it's not always 100%. My cousin was told she was having a boy only to give birth to a little girl. Talk about a lot of returns. She had boy everything!!
We were team green for our first LO, not sure if we will ask the gender of the next or keep it a surprise, not something we have discussed at length as we're not pregnant yet :)
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A lot of people nowadays are choosing not to find out. I think for my first I want to find out. I want to wrap my head around the idea of having a boy or a girl. Also, I've always wanted a girl, so I don't want any sort of 'disapointment' (that sounds awful) but I want to be mentally ready!